Funk Doctor Spock

These dudes are all gangsters. PK and Nansen have molded these guys to he feared. We do not have a real weak link on this defense unless you consider Norton, which I don't think is a weak link, he's just average to above average. Lole is the real surprise. Our Edges are killers. Sorrell, Simmons, Burke, Vasek when healthy, and then next year we'll have Simmons, Zina, Orogbo, Lance Jackson, Hilson (I'm penciling him in), and then our secondary went from Rhino diarrhea to snipers. Our LB'S with Hill and Lefau, plus Bo Barnes is sexy. PK and Nansen are like Scrooge McDuck jumping into a pile of gold. We'll get Muhammed back, Cole as the other corner, Taaffe should be back, Mcdonald, JJR, Filsame, Jonah Williams, and Zelus Hicks. Barron, Taaffe, Mukuba, Simmons, and the whole group can win a championship. If Quinn would pull his head out of his ass, this team is damn near unstoppable. This defense should scare everyone in CFB. Aggy is about to fuck around and find out, as is Kentucky. I want a rematch with Georgia in the SEC CCG so they know what's up.

Kids make stupid decisions all the time. They all think they're going to be all-pro in whatever sport. I'm not saying Golden is that guy, but it wouldn't surprise anyone if he felt he was ready to move on. I hope it doesn't because he's a beast with glue for hands. It would give him a chance to be WR1 with Wingo and whomever else behind him. He and Arch also have chemistry per reports from Gerry/Bobby earlier in the season. He already gets the most minutes on the field each week. Does Sark and Jackson sit him down and explain that he'll be #1 next season, or will he just assume he'll test well and end up in the 3rd rd?

Fuck it, take him. Just put his locker outside of Moncrief and away from the team until it's time to practice or play.

I always assumed unicorns were at the end of a rainbow.

I'd buy this dude a beer any time. Cracked me up. Also, I called this months ago when I said Lewis is looking around and USC is going after Longstreet. It was only a matter of time.

Relax, Ed Gein.

We grow them (well, now just me) in a grow room in plastic bins and spores. We use popcorn grain to mix it up and the fungus will grow. It's a huge process. Grt the spores and everything has to be sterilized. It's easy for them to spoil.

Gentlemen, seriously, Quinn is who he is. Bearing a dead horse isn't going to make him into Joe Burrow. When he's not face planting from being chased by ghosts, he'll hit 5 yard out if the WR catches it. We should all be on the same page that he's gone next year, and we get a QB with literal suoer genetics. Can we make the NC game and win it? Sure. But it will have to be our defense who carries us. Unless Golden and Bond go superhuman and Jaydon Blue stops fumbling, we are who we are. It's clear there are more issues than just Quinn. We have no RB's that can pass block, by some miracle sometimes Blue can make a burst for a our 20 yards. Sark is intent on square peg round hole trying to run Wisner up the middle and it clearly isn't working. I have no idea why he wouldn't put in Gibson for that since that's what he does. Our WR's are fine. Quinn can hit them with a 5 yard out route, but anything outside of that and it's 50/50. The lack of balls to Wingo is also boggling. Sure he's dropped a few, but unless he's targeted more than twice a game we have idea whar he can be. I have no idea why Sark has abandoned the reverse with him since he gains about 30-40 yards with it. My guess is he and Quinn don't practice together (which is dumb af if true). So they have no chemistry. Wingo and Arch do, so I suspect Wingo will break out next season With all that said, let's just agree Quinn is average at best, and at worst he's Case Mccoy with a strong arm who is inconsistent and doesn't know how to read a defense use his arm talent.

Even with Underwood, Kelly is who he is. Underwood isn't going to make Kelly into some kind of wizard. He'll still need coaching, and Kelly seems incapable of doing that.

Seriously. The fuck?

Aggy better hope that helps, because Reed is not good, and they only put 38 on cusa bottom feeder NMSU. He even gifted them an INT.

Nico is...not good. A rating service put him and Arnold ahead of Arch (I believe on Arnold, but for sure with Nico)

I was hoping for a miracle. I was spoiled by the LSU/UF game.

Aggy beat NMSU 38-7. 31 points against a, what, FCS team? And Reed even gifted them an INT. Aggy is in deep shit on Nov. 30th

Ew. If they're coming in garbage bags he lives in an abandoned house sharing needles with a 32 year old addict who looks 60.

Fucking Tennessee! You failed us!

If they do that, Barron will have no less than 3 INTs, and I suspect Mukuba and Taaffee as well will get 1 or 2.

And yet, no flag. Shocker.

God. Damnit.

Get Mathis and Mbatchu and we will have an insane haul. Throw in Justus Terry in the wish list and we're murdering. Sell Terry he can play immediately if he puts in the work. Smart can't promise that.

I was just talking in general about Cali kids and how we need to make more of an impact there outside of Mater Dei (although that 2027 5 star TE grew up as big of a Longhorn fan as Sam E. He has pics of himself in Texas gear as a kid. He's been to campus 4+ times). I know we have Sharma from Folsom, and John Mills from San Fran, but we need more.

Moar sobbing plz

He can be our Kyler Murray but with less bitchassness

We need Beck to contract a non-lethal amount of Anthrax before the 2nd half

I swear to God that's the exact scene I thought of, including when he and Jonah Hill were fighting over the phone lol.