Hey guys. I have a lot going on. So let me start-
My wife just told me she's having an affair with a guy she works with (who's a member of a cult) like you tell someone you need to mow the grass. Just casually. Then she started the divorce yesterday. She is my soul mate, and I'm fucking hurting from a couple of other things. My depression has been going on since my dad passed away 4 years ago on Aug 5th.
My best friend zoom called me to let me know he came back positive for HIV, which he got from his gf who cheated on him. I'm broken.
I find out not too long back my female cousin has something called Huntington's, which apparently has no cure.
I just lost 2 of my best friends/fur babies in back to back years.
I feel alone. I don't show emotion other than hunor, which is how I cope. The pain I'm experiencing is beyond measure, and I already suffer from OCD, and severe depression. I have so much shit on my plate and I've been having thoughts of just ending it all. I literally cannot take anymore of life. I miss my fur babies so much. We went everywhere together and I had them for 15 and 16 years. They got me through my dad's death. My mother is a narcissist who wouldn't even let me or my sisters say goodbye. He and my fur babies were the greatest things in my life, far beyond material success.
Guys, I'm beyond broken. I don't know what to do. I already see a psychiatrist. I hate that I have no one to vent to. This is the most I have ever shown emotionally in my entire life except when I lost the aforementioned to my soon to be ex-wife. I don't know how to accept that they're gone. I can't just pack up their stuff and put it away. I hurt every single day of my life. I an man enough to admit I go to our guest bedroom to cry.
I'm sorry for laying this out to y'all, but a fellow member directed me here.