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Degenerate Gardner

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Degenerate Gardner

  1. Degenerate Gardner
    I know what you mean. AEDs always piss me off in public places too. Am I supposed to be a cardiologist? Just let ‘em die.
  2. Degenerate Gardner
    It won’t make a shit. Having a secret son or two is downright quaint. This constituency voted for Donald Trump. You think a hypocritical idiot will turn them off? Not when he has an R next to his name.
  3. Degenerate Gardner
    You had me until this fanciful paragraph of anachronistic delusion, as much as I wish it was true. Trump’s remaining supporters don’t think in the rational sense. Sure they continue breathing, their bodies maintain stasis regulating temperature, etc, but the part that thinks critically was joyfully surrendered to a cult leader. No sober inferences based on observable facts will happen.
  4. Degenerate Gardner
    There’s no greater fuck you to Trump than a black man speak disparagingly of him without interruption. See White House correspondents’ dinner.
  5. Degenerate Gardner
    I’ll be watching Mike Lindell’s simulcast and gulping mescaline.
  6. Degenerate Gardner
    Shot to the heart?
  7. Degenerate Gardner
    Never before have so many addled narcissists had so many megaphones.
  8. Degenerate Gardner
    The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of innocents. Every 6 to 7 days, if you’re counting.
  9. Degenerate Gardner
    The transfer portal and some sweet NIL money
  10. Degenerate Gardner
    It’s a bad break that the shooter wasn’t killed in some school shooting when he was a kid.
  11. Degenerate Gardner
    Verdad. If Sandy Hook didn’t move the needle, neither will this. Lots of meaninglessness teeth gnashing will have to suffice instead. We all know the drill.
  12. Degenerate Gardner
    Not unless she plans on having an abortion too.
  13. Degenerate Gardner
  14. Degenerate Gardner
    The journey from having to guzzle beer at Scholz’ pregame because FEC’s prohibitions to a practice facility named after a local vodka company is weird one to travel. But whatever.
  15. Degenerate Gardner
    Boys will be Boys on Boys.
  16. Degenerate Gardner
  17. Degenerate Gardner
    Did those numbers adjust for our exceptionalism in obesity? If they could see our dicks, they’d know of their majesty.
  18. Degenerate Gardner
    Extra added bonus: It’s hard to prove in a tent.
  19. Degenerate Gardner
    I sometimes forget what serious business this place is.
  20. Degenerate Gardner
  21. Degenerate Gardner
    Kush is a lock for Day 1 in the Gallows Draft.
  22. Degenerate Gardner
    That is the most wrong one could possibly go in the effort to get some tail.
  23. Degenerate Gardner
    Sadly, you would have to be more specific.
  24. Degenerate Gardner
    Mudhoney this Saturday in Olympia.
  25. Degenerate Gardner
    Probably those goddamn Canadians again.

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