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Degenerate Gardner

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Degenerate Gardner

  1. I know what you mean. AEDs always piss me off in public places too. Am I supposed to be a cardiologist? Just let ‘em die.
  2. It won’t make a shit. Having a secret son or two is downright quaint. This constituency voted for Donald Trump. You think a hypocritical idiot will turn them off? Not when he has an R next to his name.
  3. You had me until this fanciful paragraph of anachronistic delusion, as much as I wish it was true. Trump’s remaining supporters don’t think in the rational sense. Sure they continue breathing, their bodies maintain stasis regulating temperature, etc, but the part that thinks critically was joyfully surrendered to a cult leader. No sober inferences based on observable facts will happen.
  4. There’s no greater fuck you to Trump than a black man speak disparagingly of him without interruption. See White House correspondents’ dinner.
  5. I’ll be watching Mike Lindell’s simulcast and gulping mescaline.
  6. Never before have so many addled narcissists had so many megaphones.
  7. The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of innocents. Every 6 to 7 days, if you’re counting.
  8. It’s a bad break that the shooter wasn’t killed in some school shooting when he was a kid.
  9. Verdad. If Sandy Hook didn’t move the needle, neither will this. Lots of meaninglessness teeth gnashing will have to suffice instead. We all know the drill.
  10. Not unless she plans on having an abortion too.
  11. The journey from having to guzzle beer at Scholz’ pregame because FEC’s prohibitions to a practice facility named after a local vodka company is weird one to travel. But whatever.
  12. Did those numbers adjust for our exceptionalism in obesity? If they could see our dicks, they’d know of their majesty.
  13. Extra added bonus: It’s hard to prove in a tent.
  14. I sometimes forget what serious business this place is.
  15. That is the most wrong one could possibly go in the effort to get some tail.
  16. Sadly, you would have to be more specific.
  17. Mudhoney this Saturday in Olympia.
  18. Probably those goddamn Canadians again.
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