What had happened was...
Dig this, I got it for a steal because it was damaged during shipping. If you look at the sides, you can see the tolex flaring from the sides where it took some pretty good hits. No damage to the front, top, or amp section, just the sides. I should be able to glue the tolex down until I take it somewhere to do a better job. But, you know, I could just do some damage to the front and the cloth and give it a proper relic'ing, post the pictures here, profit (knowing how much you assholes love the notion of relics). It's also missing the foot switch, and the Astoria branded replacements are impossible to replace. You can use a generic Marshall two-channel switch though, but fuck that. I have a proper Astoria Custom foot switch that came with the head, so I'll just bring that when we get together for the 3rd Annual Surly Jam and Pancake Social.
Apparently they learned a lesson because when it arrived, you would have thought I ordered a blonde-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian baby boy by the way this thing was packed. Someone from the warehouse went home with a full heart that day, lemme tell you. I don't think the garbage company will haul all these left-over packing materials away, I'm going to have to call and set up some kind of special haul-away service. The struggle is real.
I might eventually get an Astoria Classic (the green beast designed as a clean pedal platform and Marshall's first and only ever "blues amp") to complete the set, but since I have a JTM45, that I love and does much of what that amp does, I'm in no rush unless a Classic comes up for a stupid deal. And prices on the line are starting to do what everyone predicted they would, climb up. Possibly gone are the halcyon days of $2000 Astoria amp heads, it seems. It might be a while.