StrippersAndNobelPrizes

Sark and Ewers = Thelma and Louise riding the f-ing car that is the Texas offense off the cliff together. Is our offensive ineptness getting compared to aggy yet? Can't believe I would ever even have to ask that.

Ryan Day saw all of this. He had Quinn dead last on the depth chart even though last year all the other QBs were freshmen - so he wasn't going against seasoned QBs. He was a little late getting to campus, but if he was supposed to be the best QB prospect since VY, he would not have been dead last on the depth chart. QUARTERBACK Depth Chart C.J. Stroud (6-3, 218, R-Fr.) Kyle McCord (6-3, 215, Fr.) Jack Miller (6-3, 215, R-Fr.) Quinn Ewers (Fr) Also, reading between the lines, he was being nice by saying he wasn't even close to being ready. “We’re trying to get him as much information as we can, but there’s a lot of catching up to be done there." Didn't seem to be too upset to lose him, too - kind of an odd quote TBH: "He was in a very unique situation, for sure. ... We certainly wish him nothing but the best of luck."

Now the Jimbo version: "Did you like those three 8-4 seasons? ..You know how many people have won 8 games in the last 10 years? Did you enjoy those? I hope you did...I hope you did very much. Now let me say 1 other thing to you: the day I step down as OC is the day I leave the football team" Agree with the above - dude is way too much of a narcissist to ever give up control, plus he has all the leverage. He is convinced he is the only reason FSU won a national championship, and will never change his mind. Kinda like the owner of some team up north. BTW, can we call the SPCA on aggy - forcing that dog to watch those games has to constitute animal abuse.

Also was able to see what Jimbo kept scribbling on during the press conference. Apparently he was trying to solve the puzzles galore on his latest Highlights magazine - special Sheep edition!! Totally get it, those things are tough! Also explains all the sexual innuendo during the press conference.

Weekly Jimbo bingo card - I now figured it out - hearing him talk is just like hearing Rain Man talk, except Rain Man was much more coherent : At least we weren't ran out of the stadium - welp, can't use this one this week, hopefully it was not your center square Lots of real game awareness and fantastic analysis (apparently $100 million does not buy what it used to): "We had a thing" "I think we were up 24-20 at halftime" (pretty sure it was 0-0 to start the game but need to check notes) "We gotta fix things better, schematically it's good stuff" "It was a couple of plays away" (exactly - two touchdowns and a few of them CFL one point rouges (yay CFL) and we win bitches) "We didn’t know who was gonna play all the way through" (pretty sure people did play today though, but gotta check notes) LOTS of sexual innuendo though for the win! "He got tugged" "Evan and Moose had some really nice balls" "Reads took us backside"

Ah yes, never forget the cold fusion debacle. While everyone one in the civilized world was calling this out as a fraud, including those of us in the UT Physics Department, aggy was, well..... going full aggy: From 8 May only the A&M tritium results kept cold fusion afloat. In June 1990 an article in Science by science writer Gary Taubes destroyed the public credibility of the A&M tritium results when it accused its group leader John Bockris and one of his graduate students of spiking the cells with tritium.

Exactly! As of right now. Okie Lite has been outscored 82-10 since beating us and putting up 41 points.

Left off: "At least we weren't ran [sic] out of the stadium." <grammar police> If you are from West Virginia or collie station, the correct term would be "ranned" or "runded". As the rest of the educated world and anyone with greater than a 1st grade education already knows - "run". </grammar police> You need a hillbilly translator to understand that hick! And even the hillbillies can't understand him since he can't even hillbilly right!

They gotta use their instruments for something since they can't play them 🤣. And a side note - the people watching at ACL Fest was amazing! So many awesomely cool looks and a lot of total smoke-show! Then there was the clown wearing maroon aggy hat, maroon aggy 12 jersey that just stood out like a sore thumb and looked like a complete idiot. Pretty much projecting this image. No truth (?) to the rumor this will also be showing up in Uniform Pron thread as aggy new super - hype "F__k U Mass in the Ass" (gotta (TM) that phrase before they do) alternative jersey.

Based on the raise they gave him in 2021 when his agent tricked aggy into thinking other schools wanted to hire Jimbo (they are really convinced LSU was going hard after him for $75 million), not realizing they are only bidding against their own stupidity, he is now up to $9,000,000 for 2022 ($500,000 base + $8,500,000), and that amount keeps going up every year. He is now up to $173,076.92/week. That is not counting all of the other crap they threw in there. That also assumes he does not earn the $1 million bonus for winning the national championship. We can't make the assumption right now that he will not earn that, or any other performance bonuses 🤣. Good breakdown here: https://boardroom.tv/jimbo-fisher-salary-buyout-contract-texas-am/

PSA - anyone with eligibility left and a 2.5 GPA at OU (UT equivalent GPA = .00001 - slightly better than Bluto) - this is your big chance. DirtBurglars freaking out b/c tryouts not supposed to happen mid-season and they think coaches are panicking. Got some eligibility left and should be easy qualifying GPA-wise since our neighbor's daughter transferred out of OU because she said Blow U is, quote - "easier than my high school" (true story). Who's in with me?

Yes. Am 100% convinced Jimbo is trying to pull a Costanza and get fired. He looks absolutely miserable and everyone hates him. Wildly amusing to see a coach who hates his fanbase and fanbase hates him. This is great theater! Even Lucci going anti-Jimbo. He will burn it down on the way out. Lawyers on both sides are looking for their quickest/most $$ (Jimbo) - least $$ (aggy) way out. It is aggy and will end in the most aggy way possible. Rinse. Repeat. It's good for your hair but don't drink it. Give new coach trophy - 20__ Champions - just fill in the blanks.

Yep - over $7 million for just this year. Throw in a couple extra years they probably guaranteed and they are over 1/10th of a BILLION $ to get rid of these clowns. Astounding! But hey, not every coaching staff can be 23.5 point underdogs this week. You gotta pay to get that kind of quality. 🤣

Assuming he wouldn't earn any of the following bonuses (and the un-likelyhood based on laughing faces): $100,000 SEC Championship/$200,000 Winning SEC Championship 🤣🤣🤣 $300,000 for appearing in the CFP/$500,000 appearing in title game/$1,000,000 winning national title game 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 $50,000 SEC Coach of the year/$100,000 national coach of the year🤣🤣 Right around $89,700,000 if fired this week. Looks like they have to pay 25% within 60 days and the rest starting 120 days after that in annual installments through 2031. Pretty sure if that buyout rumor is true, the "businessmen" ran out of fingers and toes to count on and have no idea what they are getting into, since no way they paying this:

aggy has now created a 6th stage of grief - denial, anger, bargaining, grief, acceptance, F-it hire the devil himself. 🤣 TexasAggie81 In reply to SEC Champs • 9:41a SEC Champs said: Anybody? Would you hire Art Briles? Yes. In a heartbeat. Just like so many other colleges and universities that have hired "second chance" coaches and done well with them ... as long as they behave. I believe in second chances and opportunities for redemption.

If I’m the AD, I’m hiring Lizzo to sing “Take yo ass home, Country Roads!”. KThanksBye!

Awesome! He literally throws every position under the bus!

Jimbo right now going full Costanza:

This:

In a recent interview with Ally Osborne of WDTV5 in Bridgeport, Fisher left the door open to potentially one day lead the Mountaineers. "You never say never in this business and home is home. West Virginia is always dear to my heart. I love them and I've always rooted for them my whole life. You never say never in this business where it takes you. I'm happy where I'm at and I love where I'm at but home is home." https://www.si.com/college/westvirginia/football/jimbo-fisher-to-wvu-never-say-never-home-is-home#:~:text="You never say never in,for them my whole life. If I'm stupid enough to give a coach two guaranteed 10 year contracts for almost 1/10th of a billion $$, and he basically says he would rather coach somewhere else, I am walking his ass out right now - of course aggy is stupid enough to guarantee that $$, so they can't afford to do that. I really think he wants to get fired so he can collect $90 million AND go back home to Country Roads.

I am fully convinced Jimbo is pulling a Costanza and trying to get fired so he can go back to Deliverance-Land. Would you rather spend 8-9 years in purgatory (Collie Station) with everyone hating you, or would you rather get fired, collect $90 million right away, and go back to your dream job? That is a no-brainer IMO. He is even on record stating he wants to GTFO. Ha!

Pure puddin'!

Just hearing Jimbo talk in his high pitched, fast talking, everything coming out of my mouth is complete bullshit, let me throw everyone under the bus, it wasn't my scheme it was the players/execution, the only reason you can see me behind the podium is because I am standing on 3 phonebooks, I would rather be coaching in Deliverance territory - style, makes me want to punch him in the face. Had to get that off my chest. Proceed......

Hurt his throwing thumb.

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Don't Care, Got Jimbo. In Jimbo We Trust. Jimbo Knows. Jimbo for the Winbo. All aggy crap you can buy online for prices. Anyone going by the name of Jimbo who is > 2 years old. Priceless! (and probably IQ < 60).