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Hank Scorpio

Burnt Ends
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    4219
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    16

Everything posted by Hank Scorpio

  1. Kennedy should be replaced with a bat balanced on a folding chair.
  2. There we go, let’s get Gumby to second and win this.
  3. Hahahaha what a shitty pitch to swing at.
  4. God dammit Galavan you useless mick.
  5. Blake Gideon silently nodding as Flores commits his 8th error of the night.
  6. Every batter just close your eyes and hack as hard as you can. It’s our only hope.
  7. It should be a requirement that a team like Texas have a weirdo lefty reliever who only pitches to lefties for situations like that. Where is Keith Shinaberry when you need him.
  8. The fact that echeese is still alive and posting proves there is no God.
  9. Players leaving left and right, NIL in shambles, taking scholarships away from team leaders, it’s pretty clear Sark has lost control of this program.
  10. You’re telling me the guy with a washed up RB coach as a handler pretending that he’s the one being recruited is playing games and asking for an unreasonable amount of money? I hate the new NIL bidding process. I miss the good old days when if a handler wanted to make money off a kid he just fucked the kid’s mom. Simpler times.
  11. I have no sympathy for Hartzell and wouldn’t mind him getting run out of town, but god damn can you imagine the psycho Abbott and the regents would appoint to replace him. Meet your new university president, the Navy Seal who murdered those Iraqi civilians and Trump pardoned.
  12. We gotta figure out a way to move UT out of Texas.
  13. If Red continues to bulk up he could be a 400 pound DT by his senior year.
  14. What’s the deal with the Coleman brothers? It sounds like we lead for both but neither are ranked. One is a tackle and one is a guard? Is one better than the other? If you put one of their hands in cold water would the other twin feel it?
  15. Looks like we have a QB competition on our hands. I miss the Applewhite Simms days, let’s get this started. Arch should be the starter and if you disagree you are a fucking idiot.
  16. How many QBs can we start at the same time.
  17. Ran into the Toia brothers on campus and just handed them my wallet. I don’t want any trouble.
  18. We need to go after all these DTs in the portal, no matter the cost. Even if some of them never see meaningful snaps it means that other teams don’t get them. I want a 12 deep at DT that costs 5 million dollars a year. It will all pay off when we’re in the playoffs and other teams are starting linebackers at DT because every human over 300 pounds in the portal came to Texas. Chess not checkers.
  19. It’s true, Laramie will not be on scholarship next year. We just closed on a huge NIL deal with Pantene that will make Laramie the highest paid shampoo influencer in Travis County. We didn’t want to give up the scholarship at first but it’s going to be given to a player who will be transferring in. I can’t say who but let’s just say that it will be going to a wonderful young man who has been in the transfer portal a few times but is an amazing teammate and even better friend, just ask Harvdog.
  20. Was Futureman banned? I have him on ignore but if we’re just tossing out bans let’s do some good.
  21. Everyone treats Derka like shit and then freaks out when he blows up and then we do the same thing all over again. Let’s all just calm down. What I’m trying to say is that Derka is Hamas and Surly is Israel. And I support Hamas. That came out wrong but the point stands.
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