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Hank Scorpio

Burnt Ends
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Everything posted by Hank Scorpio

  1. Ran into the Toia brothers on campus and just handed them my wallet. I don’t want any trouble.
  2. We need to go after all these DTs in the portal, no matter the cost. Even if some of them never see meaningful snaps it means that other teams don’t get them. I want a 12 deep at DT that costs 5 million dollars a year. It will all pay off when we’re in the playoffs and other teams are starting linebackers at DT because every human over 300 pounds in the portal came to Texas. Chess not checkers.
  3. It’s true, Laramie will not be on scholarship next year. We just closed on a huge NIL deal with Pantene that will make Laramie the highest paid shampoo influencer in Travis County. We didn’t want to give up the scholarship at first but it’s going to be given to a player who will be transferring in. I can’t say who but let’s just say that it will be going to a wonderful young man who has been in the transfer portal a few times but is an amazing teammate and even better friend, just ask Harvdog.
  4. Was Futureman banned? I have him on ignore but if we’re just tossing out bans let’s do some good.
  5. Everyone treats Derka like shit and then freaks out when he blows up and then we do the same thing all over again. Let’s all just calm down. What I’m trying to say is that Derka is Hamas and Surly is Israel. And I support Hamas. That came out wrong but the point stands.
  6. We should pay him $1,000,000 and then bench him just because we can.
  7. Everyone needs money, that’s why they call it money.
  8. Is Travis Scott his real name and Cactus Jack his rapper name?
  9. I don’t even know who Flood is anymore. How do you let the 900 pound guy get away.
  10. This is 100% the schools asking the NCAA to ban the decorating and photo shoots. It’s a huge pain in the ass for the support staffs.
  11. It’s crazy that this isn’t a bigger story, I can’t find any news articles about it. Unless, someone powerful is covering it up.
  12. You have to think if we only recruited North Shore and Lake Travis we could beat NFL teams.
  13. I think the attempted murder is a plus, you rarely see that kind of killer instinct in a defender.
  14. Honestly, no.
  15. If we need a GM there’s only one man for the job
  16. I’m basically Brendan Fraser in the Whale wearing a No Fear hat while eating meatball subs and praying for death.
  17. Her pussy got wet when she saw Kyle field.
  18. If Sark pulls Will Johnson out of Michigan I will suck his dick on the 50 yard line at the home opener. Hell, even if we don’t get him.
  19. Sounds like Sark has started coasting after making the playoffs, not a single junior day commit. Mack would have locked down 95% of the class already.
  20. So this nickelback guy is a tight end, Surly supports burnt ends, making it immamac and RB’s fault if we don’t get him.
  21. We gotta kill Phil Knight.
  22. Sign him up, I want a full on jihad in the secondary.
  23. Based on my knowledge of Texas football we still need 1 more big bodied WR. Preferably a guy that plays soft with little to no acceleration who we can chuck fades to out of bounds.
  24. Sark is about to be the richest Armenian in the world. Take that Agassi.
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