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Gatorubet

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by Gatorubet

  1. I don’t know, I’d be tempted to poke her eye with my finger and yell, “Say it! Say, ‘I yam what I yam…”
  2. “God wants his little men to lose their fingers in the factory spindles, because then they won’t be tempted to put them in a girl’s’ devil orifice when they get older.”
  3. And then there is this: if my current State Farm homeowners insurer ever pulls out of the state or drops me, I will pay the house off just so I won’t have to have some ridiculously overpriced homeowners insurance of last resort to placate my mortgage lender. I will look around and buy some relatively cheap fire insurance. I have fixed my attic to Miami Dade code and put on a new roof with cat 3 shingles and extra nails per shingle. I paid surprisingly little to have them put that waterproof membrane across the entirety of the roof and not just the valleys. So if I no longer have insurance for hurricanes, I can put 3 or 4K in CDs every year so that if I do get hit by a hurricane that causes some damage, I will pay for it myself. i’m willing to risk the tornado threat, which is not nonexistent, but pretty damn close. i’m not sure how bad it is in Texas, but getting affordable homeowners insurance is an extreme problem in Louisiana now that the last legislature repealed the law that said your insurer could not drop you after three years. mine is up for renewal in July, and as I sued them over hurricane Ida, and recovered far more than State Farm said I owed, I am expecting to be dropped.
  4. Well, my five bedroom home’s monthly mortgage is less than the cost of the average apartment in New Orleans. As long as I can make more than 2.7% on my money, I can see no reason to pay my mortgage off. By not doing that (paying off home) I was able to grab some juicy fed i-bonds at almost 7%.
  5. Right after he releases his grades and his taxes.
  6. Never, never, never good to get divorced and lose half your shit late in life. As an old guy working longer than I envisioned post-full Social Security retirement age, my goals are to continue to not have a single dime in credit card or auto loan debt, keep pumping at less 50 K in my solo 401(k), every year (separate from savings and investments) and to keep reminding myself there is no reason to pay off my small mortgage when the interest rate begins with a “2”. One small benefit at keeping working is that Social Security takes your 30 best earnings years every year and re-calculates the figures. it ain’t much, but I’m making about $600 a month more than I would have had I retired at 66. I have the perfect old guy job right now, making six figures but not having any real responsibility - which means I don’t have any stress or anything I can fuck up. I’m trying to make myself as invaluable as possible, because my goal next year is to either retire or preferably tell my employer I will work Tuesday Wednesday Thursday and have a four days weekend every week, in return for 60% of my current compensation. That arrangement would keep me busy and my mind still intellectually stimulated, while allowing me four days a week to woo the wommins du jure on mini Vacays. And I like the idea of continuing to add to my assets before I have to dig into them to live. Plus, I want to have a bigger estate to leave to my two sons. They are gonna have to live in this shit show world after I pass, and I don’t think it’s gonna be as enjoyable as my 30s and 40s were for them.
  7. “The answer has always been right in front of you, you just had to read it for yourself.”
  8. And all around even our old friends put us down. Let’s drop the big one, and see what happens.
  9. Katreena is < checks notes> 36. That’s a really hard 36.
  10. Well, he deserved that for attacking people who were on top of something called “Cheat Mountain”.
  11. Well, if MAGA voters remember that American history When the south seceded they were sure that Europe’s need for raw cotton what’s so strong that France and Britain would recognize the Confederacy to prevent the disruption of the supply of cotton. “Cotton is King!!”, they said. Union blockades was seen as stupid Yankees putting pressure on Europe to support the Confederacy. That did not happen, but it did cause the rise of Egyptian Cotton as a competitor to the south after the Woah ‘tween tha States…
  12. Well, he’s also going to tell them if there’s no future elections - then nobody has to send him any more money to beat the liberals and their vote changing machines. no more elections = MAGA voter profit $
  13. “Teriff” is the Arabic word from which “tariff” was derived. It means “make the Christian dogs pay the tax”. At least, that is the message that I’d like to spread in the ‘Murica, Patriot, Jeebus Guns contrails community.
  14. I have had it with these MF-ing squirrels on my MF-ing bird feeder!
  15. in short, this means you are a Nazi lover
  16. I always love that GIF
  17. Yes, but smaller than a hootenanny.
  18. My long time for law partners husband was a captain in the New Orleans fire department, and he and his buddies are the Trumpy-est bitches you can possibly find. They are a unique subset, admittedly, because their entire life is devoted to receiving benefits on the government tit in a socialist way, jumping on every perceived disability category and dollar they can find. But they will get angry and bemoan anyone else getting government benefits. It is what it is.
  19. use the gold to buy as many of the most advanced computer chips you can get your hand on right now.
  20. I highly advise anyone who can get it to get the 20 variant pneumonia vaccination. The flu won’t kill you but the pneumonia you get from the flu might. I had previously had the 13 variant about 10 years ago, and the booster shot I received was perhaps the least painful, fewest side effects vaccination I’ve ever had
  21. We should place this next to the non-sexual Sugar Baby thread
  22. Why don’t you just wear a hat that says, “I am in a cult!”? ” I am not a critical thinker”, “ I am not well educated - and OK with that“ , and “Anything I see on Fox News I assume is correct without further investigation - especially if it agrees with my Facebook” would work too. That last one is probably too long.
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