Hornius Emeritus

Is her first name Incontinentia?

He has been deleting all of his social media but he probably can't delete that one because he's lost his password or something equally stupid.

Now let's not go overboard here ...

That's about 70 pounds lighter than Sweat, who was about 320 .lbs his senior year and also as a freshman at Texas.

You know, my whole life I've thought of Michigan and Texas as being the same in terms of integrity, emphasis on student academics etc.... Really, I've always rooted for Michigan in literally every game they've ever played except when they played Texas. Man, I just don't know about anything anymore. I mean, I'll always hate Ohio State more I guess but .. shit. Even Michigan is cheating?

Well, I guess I can tell it. After all, what's written on the Surl stays on the Surl, right? When I was 13 or 14 years old I had a friend in Temple whose uncle was a surveyor. His uncle was young and liked to drink and have a good time and he was really like an older brother as opposed to an uncle. Anyway, one time this uncle asked me and my friend if we wanted to go down to Kerrville with him to survey a huge ranch that he had been employed to survey for some reason. It was summer and we weren't doing anything and my dad said okay so we went. Last thing my dad said was "put some toilet paper in your pack. You never know when you might need it." Ever the dutiful boy scout, I did so. My friend's uncle had sold us visions of horseback riding and ranch fun but when we got down there it quickly became apparent that his uncle was going to put us to work, hauling transits, moving stuff around at a far distance --- whatever it was he needed for us to do. I was out there for some reason in an area of tall grass far away from the others when nature called. Looking around, I could see that I was alone ... and I had my toilet paper. So there I was out there in the tall grass, doing my thing, my pants around my ankles, when a pack of javelinas started moving through the grass all around me. There were 15-20 of them. I was petrified. I don't know that I'd ever even seen a javelina in the wild. And they were snorting and rooting around and ripping stuff up and I could see their tusks but I absolutely could not move because of the way my pants were situated. The javelinas didn't seem to notice me, though, and quickly moved on. I finished my business and, feeling like Marlon Perkins in Wild Kingdom, pulled my pants up and buckled my belt. I hadn't moved more than 20-30 feet when two Hispanic men approached me from out of nowhere. I was completely mortified and, being that they were grown men and bigger than I was, a bit frightened. Through their broken English and my broken Spanish, I figured out they were headed toward Kerrville and wanted to know how far it was. "Norte," I said, pointing in the right direction, "vente kilometers." At that point, one of the men put his fingers to his mouth and let out an ear-piercing whistle, whereupon an entire Hispanic family ---- a mother, a grandfather, a boy, and two girls ---- scrambled down an embankment and started walking toward me. They kept on going, of course, leaving me to realize that my entire escapade had been witnessed by the entire family, the girls included. When I told my friend's uncle what had happened he ROARED with laughter. Later that evening, though, he let us drink some of his Schlitz beer. But, yeah, think you're out there in the middle of nowhere, completely by yourself ... only to find out that you are not. It taught me a lesson, though, that has stuck with me to this day: always, always ALWAYS make sure you're alone, then go and scout again to make sure you're REALLY alone. Then do your business as quickly as possible and run away.

Puzzling. I believe I heard that he is a good student.

Taysom Hill has been awarded a 11th Covid year and has already scored on us.

Yeah I don't get it, either. I don't care one whit about Tom Herman, Charlie Strong, or Mack Brown except to say that Mack was personally very nice to me, so I wish him well. I certainly don't go onto the fan boards of wherever they're coaching and crap on them. They Sooners say it's the way he left but it's actually that he dared leave and take a better job in the first place.

Totally agree. That guy needs to have his head examined.

Well I hope you kept your wits about you and said hell no! 😄

I'm waiting to see some college-football obsessed billionaire who happens to come from, say, the University of Bowling Green lay out 100 million per year for NIL to buy national championships for Bowling Green or maybe give a BILLION to the University of Bowling Green for facility upgrades. I wonder what Phil Knight is going to do for Oregon in his will. He's 85 years old.

I'm not saying it's aliens, but ...

If so, why do all y'all sound like whiny, jilted girlfriends about him all the time?

The money to Jimbo is a sunk cost. They weill have to pay it out no matter who they hire. They have to calculate how much it's worth to have him go away, I guess.

My view may be different from that of the rest of you because I have a significant Twitter presence, but I think that anything they can do to keep spam / advertising bs out of their Network will ultimately result in positive engagement.

Having watched my father in agonistical spasms as little drops of blood appeared on his forehead while filing his tax returns in the 1970s, I disagree.

Texas 49 Houston 13 329 yards passing

Missouri just seems like such a small stage. Wingo is a big-time player and big-time players deserve big stages. But ... NIL gonna NIL, I guess.

Notre Dame has 41 points with 233 yards of total offense.

Hey, with all the commercials, a guy has A LOT to keep in his head.

Yes, especially with Penix having such an incredible day in contrast.

Holy crap that's both hilarious and vicious or viciously hilarious.

I feel so sorry for Oregon's kicker. He's going to probably hate having to go back to classes. I wouldn't be surprised if he gets threatened with physical harm by idiot internet jerks.