Mitch Cumsteen

No flex zone is arguably worse - less cringy but much more aggressively irritating. Both of them send me scrambling for the mute button, almost reflexively at this point. Fuck Wingstop, fuck jenga, and fuck whatever shitty product those assholes from Oklahoma are pimping. The more I think about it, this offseason could be bananas. The Lakers, Warriors, Suns, and Clippers all have aging stars, are in varying degrees of cap hell, aren't legit contenders, and are going to have to make some difficult decisions. You could throw the Bucks in there, too. I can't imagine all of them running it back and paying huge tax bills just to fight for the play in or an early exit.

Frank Vogel is so fired. And this killed me:

God dammit.

Yeah I figured it out right around halftime that people aren’t restricted to only watching sports on broadcast television. Early adopter and shit. I don’t even have the heart to say fuck Kawhi any more. He’s already been fucked enough by his broken down body. Get well soon. You’re never winning shit.

Fucking ABC affiliate in San Antonio has preempted Lakers / Nuggets for the got dam fiesta night parade.

Third highest payroll in the league, completely mortgaged future, and going to win the same number of playoff games as the Pistons while being only moderately more competitive. I’d say that’s a helluva first year as an owner.

Pluckers? Is that correct, Ketch?

The Eddie Murphy / Nutty Professor schtick is tough to watch. I generally like RDJ, but come the fuck on. Has that bit ever worked? Maybe it would be cheeky in a one-off, background character who only has like one line, but it's distracting as hell and comes off like a huge ego trip. Anybody want odds they do a scene where he's acting with himself in some CGI bullshit? I might have to quit the show if they push it that far.

Is he actually on his phone there? WTF? How do you even take that out of the locker room? Boston is an enigma for sure. As usual, there is a lot of overreaction from one game, especially from one where Miami went bonkers from three. But then you see something like this, and just say WTF? Maybe Miami just has their number? I do think that the Celtics are overrated though. They keep throwing up all of those historical stats about point differential and SRS and how much better they were than everybody else in the conference, but all of the East contenders had to deal with major shit this year, and the bottom of the conference is a joke. So, all those crazy numbers are inflated. Beyond that, they are a 100% 5-out, live by the three, die by the three offense. Those shots are a lot easier in December when the refs call a foul every time you breathe hard on someone. They aren't going to get those same looks in the playoffs. They won't be able to fire Joe Mazzulla fast enough if Spoelstra continues to pants him in this series.

With Bell’s palsy.

Gotta schedule around the Battle of Flowers Parade.

It was just a stretch late in the second quarter. Okc looked like they were about to blow the doors off of them and the Pels made a run to get it to 10. Seemed like the momentum was shifting and the game was going to be competitive. They adjusted at the half by moving SGA to the high post and he proceeded to take a blow torch to the entire city of New Orleans. SGA is a fucking witch.

This zone is really gumming up the okc offense. As much as they lean on SGA and Williams creating off the dribble, I’m surprised we don’t see more teams use it against them. Especially when Giddey is out there who isn’t a shooting threat.

If Miami goes 23/43 from three every game, they might have a chance in this series.

Boston is for sure going to win the series and most likely this game, but they haven't faced any adversity whatsoever this year. In general, you want your team to learn those lessons in the regular season but they were so busy beating the crap out of everybody that you just don't know how they are going to respond.

No

I'm trying to rack my brain to think of somebody I would hate worse on the Spurs than Trae Young. I'm not sure that I can, especially given his contract and the assets it would take to obtain him. Is Dwight Howard still in the league? Draymond would be tough to swallow but at least the fucker plays winning basketball. Pat Bev? Dillon Brooks? Kyrie is a terrible human but the fucker can ball. Harden? Westbrook? I think I'd take any of them over Young. Shit, give me Ben Simmons and his shitty back over Trae Young. Maybe Jordan Poole. I think I might take Young over Poole. Maybe.

You guys are looking at this whole DB room situation the wrong way. Sure, it stings to lose experienced players to the portal and the ones that are here look poorly coached, but it's been awhile since we've been able to really lean into a position coach becoming a constant surlyhorns punching bag. It's been dire around here ever since Stan Drayton broke up with @golfclap and Andre Coleman got shitcanned. But now? In the words of Sam Ehlinger, "Weeeeeee're Baaaaaaack!"

@ztejas I'm not sure how you can say the depth doesn't look that bad when they just played Drew fucking Eubanks 17 non-garbage time minutes in a playoff game. The Beal trade wasn't bad, all things considered. Since Phoenix had already given up all their future picks and swaps for Durant, the only thing they had left to trade were some second rounders and swaps on swaps. Meaning, they essentially gave Washington rights to the worse end of a swap that somebody else could potentially exercise. Sloppy seconds swaps, as it were. Based on the Bullets storied history and their current plan of tearing the franchise down to the studs, what are the odds that they get anything out of that? And Washington had no other option because of the idiotic no trade clause Beal had. But all that goes to the larger point that Phoenix has hardly any options to improve that roster. It took the Knicks almost 15 years to recover from Isiah Thomas gutting their future and putting them in cap hell, and that was before the luxury tax was even marginally punitive. Phoenix will end up keeping their own pick this year, but otherwise don't have control of their own first round pick until 2031. Other than getting ring chasing vets on the minimum or trying to unearth some hidden gems from the g-league or Europe who also would play for the minimum, there aren't many opportunities to improve that roster. They have a very rapidly closing window that wasn't very wide to begin with, and once it's shut they are going to have to fire sale whatever they can get for Booker and the ghost of Kevin Durant. They are going to look a lot like what Brooklyn does about now sooner rather than later.

There's a South Austin's mom joke in here somewhere just trying to get out, but I'm not sure exactly what it is.

Phoenix has a very flawed roster and the last thing they needed was an injury to Allen. But let’s see what happens when they get home. It always amazes me how much better the role players play at home in the playoffs vs on the road. Also, the refs obviously call the games differently in the playoffs and there’s been a big difference post all star break anyway, but holy isolation ball batman there is some ugly ass offense being played. What happened to pace and space? Look at all these scores in the 90s and low 100s. Good looks are much tougher to come by these days it seems.

That's less than ideal.

I don't think Elko's strategy is that complicated. He's throwing as many bodies as humanly possible at the problem and seeing who sticks. Run off the absolute worst ones and then throw even more bodies at it. I get that's it's mostly bread in / bread out, but what are his other options?