Would love all of this talk about money to backfire on them.
Ross - Hey Dan, its Ross. We'd love for you to come take 8&4, excuse me, A&M to a new level. We believe you are the best available and a way better coach than we have ever had.
Dan - I appreciate that and all but I already have Oregon at that level. Not to mention all the Nike money behind me.
Ross - Pissshhh, Nike? We at A&M have thrice the means and are willing to win at no cost.
Dan - No cost you say? Well, I'm certainly listening. However, I don't want to risk our conversation leaking to jeopardize the season we are having. So I just need you to cut to the chase and give me a number.
Ross - You are our #1 target so we are prepared to offer 7 years of $70M.
Dan - Oh ok, that sounds good.
Ross - Good? That's a 30% raise, you should be thrilled! Remember, we have more money than anyone!
Dan - When you say it that way I guess I should be thrilled. But... well... let me think about it.
Ross - But what, what is there to think about? This a chance to come back to the mighty SEC. Remember it just means more. Plus you get a nice big raise to boot.
Dan - Yes, yes that is true. Then I can't help but recall you just paid $76M for Jimbob to NOT coach at your school again.
Ross - Jimbo? Well, I can't get into specific numbers but approximately.
Dan - Yeah Jimbo I mean. Yet you are offering me $70?
Ross - Yes, but you see
Dan - See what? You just told me you had more money than anyone.
Ross - I did but...
Dan - No, no buts. You do or you don't.
Ross - Yes we do but it doesn't really work like that. We have to Enron our books for a few years. Just a small bump in the road, hence the 7 year offer.
Dan - Maybe we can talk again after the season.
Ross - After the season? I'm sorry but we can't wait that long, we have to move soon. What would it take?
Dan - Well, I know you like the whole world to perceive you have more money than anyone. I know you like to be the talk of the media...
Ross - Yes, yes..
Dan - So let's show the world and send the media into a frenzy.
Ross - Yes, yes, yes!!!!
Dan - 10/150, fully guaranteed because I am way better than that bitch Dumbo. Sorry, I mean Jimbo. Oh and let's not forget, no offset. It's a win-win. You get the coach, the perception and all the media time. In turn, you make it worth my while to deal with male cheerleaders, the cringe worthy turditions and that shit hole you call a town.
Ross - Um... I'll be in touch. (click)