YGIFS

So like a Devil's Threesome, then?

CNN: "It appears quite clear from the vetted files, that Trump sexually molested at least one, possibly more, minor girls. Here's what that means for the one time Joe Biden touched a girl's hair." This should obviously be a bigger story. And maybe it would have been. But apparently the Democratic Party picked the same week to start an "Anchorman"-styled alley brawl with one another and the media. "Joe killed a guy. With a Trident!"

There was some aggie jokebook post on LFZ years ago that was something like, "If an Aggie does anything, and another Aggie sees it...it's automatically a tradition." Few years later, we were at the LFZ tailgate for the A&M game. And we're shitfaced. And somebody brought some Aggies with him to the party, and everything was all good and cordial. and I tried to re-tell the joke, but it started coming out as "If a log falls on Aggie in the forest, does the other Aggie make a sound?" this is like 3 years after bonfire. Everybody around me was looking at me like "Abort. Abort. Abort." Then Wheeler stole a bus, we hired Coach Schloss, and what the fuck is a point of a warning track if it doesn't feel any different under your feet? Somebody's gonna get Bump Bailey'd out there one day. Del Conte indicated there's serious planning right now for the area between LF/CF and the Tennis Center. They want to do it right, but they also want to get the funding in before the current Capital Campaign ends. I got the impression they'll reveal something right before or during the season to keep support high and money flowing in.

Is that for real? Seeing two gay men kiss or cuddle gives me zero pause. The thought of cuddling with one of my stank-ass, dad-bod friends with deviled egg/foot spray breath. Yes, this is horrible, this idea.

Biden to give unedited interview to Lester Holt here in Austin on Monday after his talk at LBJ. Don't know if it's at LBJ with a film crew or done at NBC studio affiliate-KXAN. I guess we'll know by the road closures. Sure hope he sticks his landing. I would think doing it at LBJ would be grandiose and remind people of what he's done to help advance Civil Rights over his last four years. But it may also make him look like a relic, being that he's over 20 years older than the legislation he's here to celebrate. I dunno with this fucking simulation. They'll probably end up having it at Amy's Ice Cream.

So literally a "Hurry Up & Wait" situation? Someday, some kid is gonna ask his dad in Houston, "Is it true that sometimes after blizzards and extreme weather stuff, 9 months later in that area---there's a spike in new babies?" -Well yeah, son there is some evidence to suggest that because those people couldn't really couldn't go outside so Moms and Dads would spend more time together "Well Hurricane Beryl was an extreme weather event, but there's no kids in my class born in April?" -We didn't have power for weeks in July, in Houston with 95% humidity. You think your mom wanted to get down on my sweaty balls and swamp ass? I don't even wanna know what the hell she had going on down there.

When I'd wait in line somewhere since I was a little kid...to pass the time, I'd stare at various warning signs and just wonder what the backstory was behind why that sign had to be put up in the first place? I mean, not just the ubiquitous ones, but like the obscure ones you sometimes see in public. Then I went to law school and took 1L Torts and answered most of my own questions about how crazy some people behave. But I was still fascinated by some signs. Then I had kids and met their friends, and now all of my questions have been answered. Our species is still fucking insane. Last Winter, I watched my neighbor tell his kids and their friends, that NO---you cannot readjust the zipline to go over the firepit. Yesterday, my daughter put a handful of tootsie rolls in her mouth and started her tap dancing routine before class. After about 20 seconds, she couldn't breathe and spit 'em out. So now there's gotta be a warning label on zip line kits "Do not assemble over fire pits or power lines" and the dance studio will have to put up a sign "No eating while performing routines."

Dogus is starting to look that actor, Chris Messina. And the dude over his left shoulder in the all-black looks like Champ Kind from 'Anchorman' grew a beard and had one too many seafood dinners with Dorothy Mantooth. When's the damn schedule coming out!?!?!?

Before Covid-19, when I'd swim at Gregory Pool...I'd just use the big main locker room right by the pools. Everybody from college students to guest pass users to staff just minds their business, in and out. Then after I got adjunct status, I can use the downstairs faculty changing room. It's quieter and I get my own locker and towel service. However, it is the old man at the gym cliche. It's a dozen butt naked 70yo professors sitting around yapping about Plato and Keynesian economics. Sometimes it's a pain to get over there after work, so I got this free trial somehow before the holidays for the L.A. Fitness on South Lamar. I liked the pool, not too chlorinated but still safe, and it has good gutters so you can glide a little easier as a middle-aged guy. Anyway, after day 2 or 3...I'm changing in the locker room and there's two young dudes being quite flirty with one another, don't know if they were a couple or just chatting each other up naked. And I'm just changing and packing up and one of 'em says, "Oh sorry, we didn't know anyone else was in here." And I just said, "All good fellas." But what I wanted to say, "I've seen the entire Humanities Department's octogenarian ball sacks debate Immanuel Kant. Pretty sure two dudes touching each other's abs isn't going to bother me."

Good luck and god bless. On a more cranky note---any of you dads in Central Texas seeing this spike in 'Bacterial Walking Pneumonia' in any of your youngsters of their camps/sports/friends? We think our 5yo likely got it at her swim class last week because all the kids cough on one another in the little shallow area they practice in. She was doing better a few days ago, but apparently this thing lingers like a mother-fucker. But now on Day 8. Lethargy, loss of appetite, coughs are pretty dry but about 2-3 spells per minute. And temp oscillates between 99.5-102.5. We're picking up a different antibiotic today, but shit-this is rougher on her than Covid. Anyway, watch out for kids coughing on your kids for the next few weeks. This is literally worse on children than Covid.

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/3fc3f11e-d29a-40e0-9e7e-b12726dca18d

FEC laws are pretty clear on the whole ticket using the money not from PAC's. PAC money can slide around more fluidly from person to person. As discussed, a campaign can refund donors. Doesn't happen very often. But you can legally say, "Thank you for your donation, Mr. XYZ is no longer running for office. Here is your money back. We strongly hope you will consider sending it back to new candidate Mrs. ABC." Somebody's gonna have to eat a bunch of shit in credit card processing fees, and you'll see significant attrition...I'm guessing only 70% of the net amount gets 're-donated', but between PAC money and if that other new candidate already has a war chest from another lower office, they can slide that on over to beat Trump. It's messy and time-consuming, but a far better option that a drawn-out, messy convention for the whole world to see. I've noticed a trend that's caught on with them that's working. It went from "I know/I believe" or "Real Americans know/believe", something like that. But now they're all using the same blanket language of "Nobody thinks Biden is fit" or "Everybody knows the election was rigged." I don't if it came from Fox or Trump speeches, but it wasn't as categorically used just a few years ago. Obviously it gives them comfort to think that 'Nobody thinks differently than I do' or 'Everybody knows what my research says is true!' And then 10 seconds later, it's "Biden and 50% of this country are trying to destroy it!" Does everybody even know that?

$400? And in Oklahoma? I think the most we paid was probably about $75/seat to see him in Austin. I think we even saw him once for about $35/seat. I love him more than anybody, but after 4-5 shows...you realize his set is about 80% the same, and only 20% new. So once you've seen it, you've kinda seen it. And his audience Q&A thing is so predictable now, people shout out interesting things. But he just does the same canned 3 answers each time. Don't get me wrong, he took the whole art into a completely new space. And we'll probably pay to see him one more time in Austin before he hangs it up for good. But $400 and you gotta go to Oklahoma?

The foam does work well if you get close enough. The two places we get them the most are pretty high up so I can't there (ain't taking a chance of getting mauled while I'm up in a ladder even I do it midday when they're out 'n about). then I tried that long distance liquid killer. Problem is shit just drips back down onto you. I'd rather get stung that have that crap on me for a day. My new method is just one of those bronze high-pressure nozzles for my hose. You hit it at the right angle at the right time of day, comes off in 10 seconds, and you wipe off a bit of water. Crush the thing into the dirt or toss it out with glove in the trash bin. Every now and again there's a couple wasps in there midday (sleeping or babies or whatever). They'll follow the water line, but will usually land as a result of being wet, so you stomp them. But one year, I learned that they give up some kinda alert smell when they're crushed that alerts the rest of their nest to their dead body. So if you stomp them, get the hell outta dodge. But the body is usually eaten or decomposed within 36 hours. Anyway, this technique is the best one I've found for this one we get near the top of the second story, so high pressure water is cleaner and better. I see you've met the Costanzas.

As a historical norm, infrequently though it might be, when the cabinet meets to even discuss the 25th or actually vote on it---it is not made public ahead of time. From Ford to myriad Presidents having medical issues or undergoing anesthesia...they simply let us know afterwards. The tricky part here is there are 1000 cameras on them right now. So much as a handful of them are seen together, the chaos begins. What you may see happen is Biden is encouraged to call a cabinet meeting at the WH to assure his team he is of full capacity. They exchange chit-chat for 30 minutes, he is then informed, "Remember Mister President, we have that photo-op and quick chat with the XYZ group in the Blue Room." All rise, Joe walks out, and the Cabinet sits back down and all cameras are turned off.

Their fiscal quarter just ended. Usually about 30 days to prepare the financials. They’re making a case they fixed a Buncha areas without the CapEx. I think there’s a word for it.

Only in a Re-run.

I thought Hobson chose to encourage Arthur to vote for Linda Marolla out of love instead of the safe choice, Susan Johnson. Dammit, I'm going to take a bath. At least we'll carry Rhode Island.

Yeah, that was weird. I ran to the grocery store and had to wear sunglasses just to get from the truck to the entrance. Not that strange in Texas at 5:30p in July. But I came out at 6:00p and it was like nightfall. They called off my daughter's swim practice because they didn't like the looks of the cloud cover. Which sucked because I had my sunglasses on, despite looking like a creepy weirdo that didn't know it was basically dusk out at 6:30p because I like to check out this lifeguard from SMU who looks like pornstar Emma Hix. Wait, we talking about rain?

Well, if you'd quit wasting half your generator power on your hipster-carved bourbon ice maker and Grateful Dead Wall of Sound, you'd make it longer. Levity aside, hope W&W are doing well during all this. If I can help in some small way, please reach out.

Black Horse Carriers, now under Penske Logistics, has a handful of terminals, and several dozen domiciles in the State of Texas. There are nearly 100 trailers and almost as many operators. A handful of ALDI distribution centers in our borders, and 30+ ALDI stores, plus the Trader Joe's connection from Dallas to Houston. It's not HEB, but when the food in the refrigerator spoils in the heat and you run out of water, you think people in distress are going to get brand loyal all of the sudden? HEB and Wal-Mart will do most of the heavy lifting. But albeit on of their smaller markets for now, when the world's largest grocery store chain and the world's largest logistics fleet offer your state help for free, you don't worry about whether or not they carry "Hill Country Fare" brands at a discount. Google the ALDI footprint and Penske domicile takeover of BHC. A million pounds of supplies in 72 hours. Nothing compared to HEB, but you have some dipshit at the Capitol track down somebody on Abbott's staff. Just look at the fucking map, man---your annoyances with me aside.

Power at the pumps is certainly an issue, which is why we specifically requested access to state gov/NG fuel pads. We offered to pay FMV for the diesel either way, even if it just helps a handful of generators or delivery trucks or EMT/Fire vehicles. We're not looking to grow. The entire package was offered for free, absolutely zero charge. Not a dime other than bonded coverage in case the truck accidentally runs off into a swollen bayou or something, but the state can certainly cover that under its current liability. When Penske and ALDI offer to bring a community nearly a million pounds of supplies for no charge and just asks for a chance to buy diesel from a functioning station so they don't wait in line and overrun their time limit on hours behind the wheel and we got get into a whole thing with the drivers on employee protection. The answer is "Yes." ALDI foods, expanded by Black Horse Carriers before they were bought out by Penske. Been delivering relief supplies since WWII for nothing, not a cent. They've trucked in nearly 15mm euros of food and supplies into Ukraine over the last two years. And there's not a PSA to exploit it. And if you get ALDI, you get the multiple stores in Houston for Trader Joe's to jump in and help as well. They've been doing this since before you and I were born. It's not a special favor, it's a lack of leadership. When the largest grocer and largest trucking company in the world offer you their services for zero fucking dollars, you take it.

Well as much of a blowhard asshole as I am, this is both comforting and disconcerting. If Biden can't reach them, who the fuck am I? On the other hand, there seems to be what is becoming an almost joint effort to actually fuck this up. Even the HEB folks are having a hard time navigating this and this is their fucking jam. Our dedicated fleet replacement logistics trucking platform does all the exclusive hauling for ALDI foods, the largest groery store chain on Planet Earth. Not a huge footprint in Texas, but if I offer your state relief team a dozen trucks filled the brim with supplies, you get a decision maker on the team. You don't tell me they are unavailable right now with party business. Shit, if we needed to, we could have 100 kingpins down here by end of week from points east and north so long as the driver's get OT, some tex-mex, and a Matagorda blowjob. But I'm getting text after text assuring me that the situation is well in hand while we're at 2mm with no power and people running out edible food and potable water every hour we step on our dicks. I can't imagine how frustrated HEB's team is right now. All we need is right of passage so as not to interfere with rescue efforts, and access to non-retail fuel sites so as not to disrupt the needs of citizens and local businesses. And their answers continue to be some version of, "Well, we'll look into it. The team should be back into the office here in Austin by end of week." Meanwhile, food is rotting. But this is the path we've chosen.

I don't know what this means given that it's taking place in Philly. But I was speaking with Inka IRL about this. This one is extra weird. We helped out a tiny bit during Harvey. And I got to know some of the preparedness people and our fleet has slightly grown its footprint in Texas. And I know some senior staffers and HEB logistics folks who can speed things up. But all of us on the transportation side are just scratching our heads. For such a far-out forecast, there's barely anybody available to speak with at several levels. And it's not because they're in a triage tent with flood victims. Y'all on the Gulf Coast have more experience with these events than I ever will. But when I offer to connect my team with your disaster relief team to deliver multiple 53' kingpins full of supplies and food on the sole condition we'll eat the fuel costs but you have to grant us access to a state fleet/national guard fuel site (which we'll pay FMV for) so we don't randsack gas stations the locals are using so the trucks can deadhead back and bring more shit...and your answer is "Well, those decision makers are out of the state right now."...........................that's pretty fucking weird. They offered to connect me with some county officials in East Texas/Houston area, but those folks can't let us onto state-run fuel pads. We cant take what little diesel is available in the area away from other service trucks, generators, etc. We need quiet access to fuel to deadhead back and come back with more stuff, and we'll pay. Not that difficult. There's nobody helming this thing. Never mind the fuck ups left and right by our energy/utility providers. Picked a great week to show off how fucking stupid we are Texas.

It is absolutely astounding what the leadership and utility sector of this state can't fuck up. I spent 4 hours today, and I've got their staff's persona lines, trying to figure out how we can use our trucks to help statewide agencies get Aldi food/water/ice to affected areas. And most of them were unavailable/out of the office. And spoiler alert, not because they were busy laying down sandbags and handing out bowls of soup. The point guard guy I know at HEB says even their usual playbook isn't working because they can't even be sure the trucks can get back to make another run since the state doesn't know what fucking fleet fuel stations are working. I guess we didn't know about this storm for two weeks. god forbid, we should let people who know the fuck they're actually doing actually help people in actual need. I know where Texas gets this ego while constantly displaying such ineptitude.