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I did all I could for Joe in 2020, but he thinks it’s still the same cycle. DNC’s best idea is to turn out more MAGA voters who may have just stayed home. And put the whole plan together in 90 days when registration ends in most swing states. I’ll take my chances of my ‘Right of Return’ status in wartime Israel over this shitshow. I’m stilL voting for whom ever can beat Trump, but this is a spectacular fuckup in American politics. And that’s saying something. Maybe some yard signs will save us.

Why does Provo, Spain celebrate America’s Independence Day with such hostility? And without any grilled paella?

So Biden is gonna beat Trump again in 2020? And Trump says he beat Obama in 2016 to avoid WWII? And non politically active voters came out during that timeframe because of a black president in 2012, an almost sure thing female candidate in 2016 and won’t elect somebody from California? So while Joe is not playing well on Tv, the best idea is to tamp down more Trump voters with a black female from California where Joe looks for his keys as our Democracy is on the line with just 90 days to figure it all out? wow. Great plan folks. Hope Jimmy Carter doesn’t have to stick around to watch it unfold. I’m putting in my paperwork for Mexico or Israel next week. Good luck with that youth vote turnout thing that’s never worked in history.

Few thousand bucks in surveillance cameras down that way? Nah! We got electric bills to pay to store DNA kits we got not intention of ever testing.

Wife took the little one into pediatric care today for a multi-day high fever. Half the kinds in our neighborhood and her camps have something. She’s doing better, thank the Lord. But I think back that scene when Robards talks to Martin about him scaring the hell out of him because he was worried his son had polio. And Martin says “yeah, mom said something about it once.” And I remember thinking “how the hell does fucking polio only come up one time in what would have been the 40’s/50’s?” then you have kids. And it’s RSV or hand/mouth and strep and Covid and MRSA and the thing after that. And the next thing. Granted polio was much rougher than those, but it’s just a series of worries and infections and picking at scabs. You really never do get to the end zone and spike the football. That never happens. They were right. It never ends. But yet we perpetuate as a species just the same and what do we say when a cute girl walks by? Hubba Hubba.

We now go live to the Commander-in-Chief reassuring the American people of his leadership role:

Okay, do we get to have somebody beaten into an ER visit or not? Or is this just about some broad trying to upsell another broad into a high-interest rate lip-gloss? It's been two years since I've had anybody hurt and I'm getting anxious. Not 18% APR anxious, but close.

To be fair to the Aggies, the dog was super high when he typed that with just the one working paw. csb/ For two years of undergrad, we lived over in Cherrywood before it was cool to live over there. And we're sitting outside and my roommates are getting high as fuck. I wasn't smoking but got a solid contact buzz. Anyway, one of the guys hanging out starts blowing smoke at my roommate's dog's face. Seamus, like the Pink Floyd song Anyway, Seamus ends up eating part of a tie-dyed shirt he found inside and is trying to shit it out but is obvious distress. So I offer to drive my roommate and the dog over to that vet that was on the IH-35 access road there north of campus (not sure if it's there anymore). My buddy is high as fuck, the dog looks like it just ate a bag of weed and a swirly shirt from a Dead show, and the Vet is telling me he is highly trained from Texas A&M and can handle this. And being the only relatively "normal" living organism in the room, I was just like "Imma wait outside, y'all figure this out." 60 minutes later, my stoned to the gourd roommate, one the dumbest Aggies I've ever met, and a dog with a Jerry Garcia shirt being yanked from his butt came out the door and we headed back home. That was the first day I realized none of this is real. Three days later, the guy that brought the weed over that got the dog all fucked up asks me if I'll drive him to College Station because his girlfriend wanted to check out the pre-optometry program at A&M and then we'd stay the weekend and hit up the football game. The dog later goes blind, she goes into optometry, and I run into Taylor at the Maryland game in DC a few years back and he's wearing a tie-dye Longhorn t-shirt. I'm obviously insane, but why do people keep trying to make it worse?

They kept my girls up a little later than usual last night, but they're getting older and need to handle themselves every once in awhile after evening holiday festivities. However, I was freaked the fuck this morning when one of our adjacent neighbor's dog showed up, barking on my front porch with a note around his collar that said, "What were you doing last night between the hours of 11 & midnight?" That dog don't make no sense!

Fair point. But did not much of this forum berate the point, even more than I do and that's saying something, that Trump's campaign brought out millions of voters who were upset with the memory of a Black president and the notion of a female president. And didn't those two turnouts not turn the tide of the 2016 election? Or I am I missing something that you've yet to explain?

According to many pundits and most of this forum, Trump turned out 10mm new voters because of a Black President. And turned out another 10mm new voters because of the possibility of a female President. There are receipts. Do you all not remember the last 9 years of lectures?

Me, "Does your conference have insurance?" Brett Rosenberg, "Yeah, but it was through a friend. At AllState." Me, "Who are my clients? Why you wanna sue Texas?" Sol Yormark, "Sue you. Sue everybody!"

We're all on the same page here---Biden, Harris, or Dennis Castro...anything to keep Trump outta the White House. But have a modicum of self-reflection. 2015, many of you said, "Trump is running on a platform to exploit that much of America hated the notion we had a 2-term black President and drives out new voters. 2016, many of you said, "Trump is running on a platform that much of America hated the notion that a woman might very well be the next President to drive out new voters for himself." Many of you said something to that effect. No matter who you run, you're not bringing out any new voters of significant import. All you can is keep them from coming out in even greater numbers. They, and you, claim to turn out more numbers out of disdain for a person of color and/or a female. Registration to vote in most swing states is over in 90 days. For the most pivotal election in U.S. history since the Civil War. Yeah, this is time to make cool t-shirts.

Your first clue shoulda been when your Orbitz customer service rep was named Beryl. Next time, ask for Juglesh

Donald, how can you rape women and children? Trump, "Easy! You just don't lead in the polls as much!" (I'll see myself out)

Wait, so the giant rat ate our your mee-maw?

Man, the marketing team at Cracker Barrel is really getting lazy with their copywriting team.

That's what happens when you jump out of a boat that has a battery in it to power the starter and stereo system. Nautical Thermodynamics meets Marine Biology. And yes, that's my titleist.

Did that dude post that anti-Carlin rant on the actual Independence Day? The most pro-1A comedian in history? Or was this like a trolling bit? I mean discounting Carlin's takes on freedom of speech on our birthday? Is Lenny Bruce asleep at the simulator, what the fuck? Did this guy not get into the 4th of July pre-fireworks early show in Branson of Larry the Cable Guy and just tweeted out of frustration? Let me guess, all these 4th of July day games in MLB featured too many Dominicans and Blacks on our nation's sacred day?

Fingerhut? And their Assistant Manager's name? You guessed it. South Austin's Mom.

My god, there isn't much the Democratic Party can't fuck up. See y'all underground.

I would vote for Moreno/Buffet ticket in a heartbeat. Are either of them still alive though?

Now how in the hell the same street intersect with itself? You Silly Man!

Didn't you already post that last time? Before or after your last CSF test? What color is the sky in your world?

I honestly don't know what's more horrifying about your holiday traditions. Your cursed, decomposing Halloween pumpkins witchcrafting evil spells from your backyard or your anus themed Independence Day fireworks display. I'm genuinely intrigued to see what you have planned for Thanksgiving this year, some sorta pilgrim-festooned Grouse stabbing a Turkey in a feather-headdress. Sickie.