YGIFS

Whatever happened with that AZ murderous dipshit, besides probably being Keri Lake's running mate?

Yeah, Carl Albert didn't just ascend to the VP slot when Agnew resigned. Even though he was Speaker. Not how it works. The line of succession remains in place in case of death/25th/resignation, but the Speaker doesn't just get moved up the ladder to VP. Plus he was from Oklahoma and a fucking asshole. I guess if your party does want Kamala, you install her before election day. But I still think this is not the right cycle to do something like that. But Democrats gonna be Democrats. Maybe Air America will make a comeback and combat the FoxNews/CNN cabal.

You gotta give Texas' Maverick/Cowboy mentality a lotta credit. We pledged to get rid of pornography, child grooming, sex trafficking, rape, and molestation. And here we sit, #1 in pornography consumption, #1 in banned books while pastors and teachers mouth-fuck kids, #1 in the sex trade because we don't address the consumer just the enslaved, #1 in rape, #1 in untested rape kits, #1 in most pastor/priest/coach molestation of children, #1 in mass shooting deaths, #1 in domestic violence, #1 in child abuse. But yeah...blocking a few adult content websites should cover it. And we keep the devil's gambling outta our state because it's immoral. Meanwhile, State of Texas runs the biggest gambling racket in the United States, the Texas Lottery and nobody knows where the money goes and the highest day of ticket sales is Sunday. But at least there's not pornhub. "The Texas Miracle" is that this land of dipshits has managed to last this long...

Not less, Fuhrer! I mean Fewer. Dammit, I had something for this Heydrich!

Pretty fucking crazy, 56 years since the last "open/brokered" convention for the DNC was held in Chicago...we may have be having the same thing again. In a venue, just 6 miles from the old International Amphitheater. And there's gonna be anti-war protestors this time around just the same. I'll be at Lulu's having an Italian Beef while the riots ensue.

I think of that Family Guy episode where Peter tells Lois that he's pregnant and doesn't know what to do. and Lois says, "Peter, you can't be pregnant!" And Peter replies, "Well, I'm Catholic Lois. I don't have any other options!" That's about the intelligence level of Texas men. Don't want one and think their immoral, then just don't have one. Have the baby and love it. What that other couple over there decides with their doctor is their business. How is this so fucking difficult? Do I want my 9yo making life-altering changes to her body? No. So I guess we just won't do it then. Does the 18yo down the street considering gender affirming care affect us at all? Not in the least. I mean, I know Jesus spoke at length about gender medical care and D&C procedures. He spoke to the Disciples about it all for many years between fishing trips, cabinet DIY projects, and magic tricks. But we could just let people live in peace as he intended.

Not saying Gretchen is the ideal choice, but you do realize 40%+ of U.S. Presidents were Governors before taking the Oval? It's not like everybody had to have federal experience. That's more than former Vice Presidents, and drastically lower when you take out VP's who assumed office due a POTUS death and ran afterwards as a technical incumbent.

I'm not a member of your party, but I bundled a shit-ton of cash for Biden in 2020 to get rid of Trump---like many of you. Four fucking months out from the election that decides the fate of our Republic, and questions about who may replace Biden are labeled as "sexist/racist"??? 4 months out and this is the focus of your party, who will get their feelings hurt and who is being mean? We had four fucking goddamn years to settle this shit, but now his age and possible replacements being women of color are a thing? Court cases against Trump are crumbling in real time, Biden gets older by the day, but the grand strategy is "Well, maybe on-the-fence Trump voters won't turn out if a person of color on the ballot." I know it hurts to hear, but this is not the election to get clever and progressive. Almost four fucking years and suddenly the D's get religion, "Hey, what if we rebooted the ticket with somebody that will absolutely piss off 80 million Americans instead of just propping up Joe and winning a narrow one and probably reboot everything during the mid-terms?" I know what America y'all live in. I want a woman President. But it doesn't happen if there's not an election in 2028 or 2032. Yeah, we're all sexist assholes. Keep telling yourselves that when women have what's left of their rights taken away. I'll think about how savvy you were when my daughter's grow up in Trumplandia because the party's line, "I think Kamala can win over a lot of moderate Republicans in the Rust Belt."

APD Forensics, "We can tell by the blood spatter that the victim's head was severed first, then the other parts afterwards." APD Detectives, "Well this doesn't fit any pattern of foul play or serial killing. Clearly, this man cut off his own head and then took his time chopping up the rest of his own body. Obviously suicide, case closed."

Does Chick-Fil-A have one of those secret menus that involves Bukkake sauce?

Yeah, I really wouldn't consider this the same scenario. One dude slowly got murdered over 9 excruciating minutes and was unarmed. This dipshit reached for a pistol after a dozen warnings from an officer, who demonstrated some professionalism, with a gun pointed at his head. I doubt they'll even be 20 people at his funeral, let alone a national protest. I think you can safely go get a coffee at Starbuck's this morning without an open-carry. There is police brutality, racially motivated shootings swept under the rug, and then there's just morons of all colors riding through residential neighborhoods with firearms sitting in their lap. If his friend in the car didn't express much anger about it, I doubt a nation of strangers will.

They shoot horses, don’t they? fucking simulation part II, amirite?

I always liked the subtle dig at Oklahoma from Lynette when she says something to the effect of "Why would I move to Oklahoma when I can be miserable here?" I literally spit my beer out once. Was at that old, shitty Hooter's on Riverside 'cause they had cheap drafts before UT baseball games. And there was this old timer regular next to me. And some dude comes in and proposes to one of the waitresses (real classy move) and picks her up in a hug (not carrying her out though). And the guy next to me shouts, "Good for you Paula!" I thought I was gonna piss myself. Nobody else in the joint was even born when the movie came out. Took me until just a few years ago then Ensign Seeger was also Jenny from "Beverly Hills Cop." Nostalgia aside, it really was the finest hour for both Gere and Gossett.

Laugh all you want, you silly man! But before Covid, I was in Chicago visiting family and some work. And Matt Dowd let me know he was up at the University of Chicago's Institute for Politics. And he and David Axelrod, both very smart and pretty centrist are doing a talk and a reception. And they're trying to dissect how Trump got elected and what it means for 2020. And they're speaking as political operators. But for credit, some of the graduate students in statistics/mathematics/demography/etc., the sharpest of the sharp. And their three basic conclusions were what Dowd and Axelrod said, "Of course, he's gonna get this many straight ticket Republican voters...always been the case in states that allow it. Two-Trump has tapped into something that was already there but we don't know or whether it has stickiness to it. Three-this lies completely outside all of our voting data norms." And I thought, "Okay, the smartest political and polling minds in the nation don't have any fucking idea how this happened and what's gonna happen down the road. This should be fun." Keep in mind, Univ of Chicago is a known right-leaning University.........but an extremely serious one, arguably the best not in Ivy or called Stanford. So we go the reception afterwards and I'm just in the background listening to students pick the brain of these brilliant political brains. Not saying anything. About three drinks later, I finally opened my mouth, "If there's no statistical model to explain Trump's election and possible re-election, could it be we're living out a simulation?" And a post-graduate fellow says something to the effect of, "Funny you should mention that, we have more empirical proof that's what is happening than we do to explain Trump's Electoral College numbers." So I finished my drink and contemplated going over to their old stadium, Stagg Field. Where the world's first nuclear reaction occurred about 75 years prior, because it seemed fitting. But I just came to terms that nothing makes sense any more and didn't go to sleep for about a week. It is arrogant to think we are just living out some equation while people are genuinely suffering all around the world who would scoff at the idea that comfortable Americans can sit around and pontificate conspiracy theories and simulation debates while they are fighting one another for water. But if this God's plan or the Universe unfolding in a natural order, somebody let me know. Meantime, bad news. The whole of humanity is locked in here with me.

Thanks for the nightmare fuel, assholes. a woman who went ass-to-mouth (not always her own either), for a living. Describes this as the most horrifying sexual experience of her life. And he's leading in 25 states despite not being seen with his "wife" in several weeks. Yeah, this is all very normal for a SuperPower.

The DNC strategy is to keep a few million Trump voters at home in November in a few key states. That's where the resources are being poured. Much as I love my mother from Mexico who taught me early on in life to stay civically engaged. Much as I would love a female President, particularly one of color like my mother and to see my daughter's faces when I tell them we're going to the inauguration. And the "big" idea is to nominate Kamala instead and moronically think they won't drive out every Trump voter who was considering not voting because they'd had enough of his bullshit? It's not fair, but it's reality. I think she's continue a fine legacy and team. But this is not the fucking year to do this kinda stuff. It's not sexism or racism. All that happens is she drives out more Trump voters who may have otherwise stayed home. I didn't invent politics nor the hatred in America's heart. Your party is fucking this whole thing up twelve ways from Tuesday. We can sort this all out in 2032. But we have to last as a nation until then.

I don't go to bars anymore and we kinda know each other, but I gotta better chance of being drowned by Nicole on Rainey Street than I do being harmed by an undocumented immigrant. There's a dozen of 'em on my street every single day doing the renovation on my neighbor's house and other chorin'. Never got a weird vibe from any of 'em. They driver more politely than my neighbors two doors over who think they're in fucking Formula 1 Meanwhile, on Sunday...ran into an old friend at the SEC kickoff deal. He's a right-wing guy, but usually very pragmatic...not MAGA/Qanon type. Shows me a phone pic of his "new arsenal" in case they replace Biden and Trump loses a rigged election. I tried to slink away, but he asks, "Hey where's your family at, I wanna say hello." And I just smiled and said, "Oh, they're probably getting cookies or something. I'm gonna go check on 'em and probably never talk to you again."

Wait, what the fuck is this? Is this real? Or some AI bullshit?

they skipped over a buncha shit between 1310-1390. I guess, call it 'Artistic License' The whole point was to show Gere and Gossett together. There's a director's cut somewhere that supposedly has more of the background of Mayo going into the Navy, dealing with his Father, getting back in with his class between his friend's suicide, the kickboxing deal, and graduation. Maybe it's covered in there, but I've never seen it. I always liked that just as the Ensign insignia has 5 points, there are 5 moments that Mayo proves his worth to the Gunny. When he admits he has no other options in life, when he steps up during training mishap while everybody else stands bewildered, when he loses his friend to suicide but pushes on so nobody else will suffer the same fate, when he challenges Foley to the fight of their lives, and when he gives up on the obstacle course record to help Seeger over the wall. Seriously though, what the fuck happened to Debrah Winger after that?

Do you even Chicago, bro?

Correct, the PAC's of any stripe can put any amount behind anybody at anytime---just takes a 2-page FEC filing. But the Biden/Harris campaign onboards a lot, like tens to hundreds of millions a lot, from direct donations. It would be an extreme headache and media fallout to restructure that. Nothing like it has even been gamed out, let alone attempted in real life.

I was embarrassed that I didn't know until much later in life that Cronkite was a Longhorn. My father used to watch him and Mike Wallace religiously when I was a wee lad in Chicago. Most years, before the Distinguished Alumni Awards, there's a luncheon earlier in the day for friends and family of the recipients. This was a short while before he died, Cronkite gave some remarks alongside some other luminaries. I was running late from work, and missed (was there to see a friend get her DAA deal). So I rushed in and realized I had missed most of it. So I go to take a piss at the Alumni Center bathroom. Nobody around, everybody's inside having dessert. And I'm just staring down/straight ahead like you do at a urinal. And out of nowhere I hear this unmistakable booming voice, "A full bladder and a full tank of gas are never a good mix." Walter wisely snuck out to take a leak and make the long drive to Houston for some other event. His voice was still the same after all those years. I wish we could have shaken hands but we both were holding our dicks. But the acoustics of that tiled bathroom and his unmistakable voice even in his old age...best piss I ever took.

Yep, this. It's the one loophole in federal elections. The POTUS/VP candidates can use the money interchangeably. And can even cut it up if they lose anyway they want. A Senator can't just hand off $50mm to another candidate if the drop out or lose. But yeah, another candidate emerges on the DNC ticket...they can't onboard that money. It would have be refunded to the donors and then re-donated to the new ticket. Not terribly difficult but will raise a lot of eyebrows, many will feel offended and not make the re-up, and it's absolute cannon fodder for the media.

True. The Biden voters will quell their fears and still get out there for him. Straight-ticket R's and MAGA cultists will get out for their guy. Nothing will change on percentages. But for EC purposes, it's just who stays home this time around---not who turns out. You can't offend milquetoast Trumpers too much or they vote to spite you, you can't feed any gas on the "Biden is Senile" fire anymore because that brings them out, too. Party in-fighting looks suspicious and weak at this stage in the game. But instead we're gonna spin our wheels worrying about 90 kids at Columbia who may not vote for Biden because of Gaza and a few stutters when everything should be thrown at 90,000 voters in the Rust Belt to make them feel just ashamed enough about Trump that they don't vote at all. This thing isn't gonna be won by Gavin Newsom, or Young People, or Green Party defectors. The only way this works is a few million middle-bloc voters of Trump stay home. I'm listening to these fundraising bundlers and consultants spew bullshit "With your support, we can get out the 18-35 Latino vote in Arizona." Yeah, that thing that's never changed an election, ever. Believe it or not folks, there are still Trump voters who feel shame and regret. I know you think all 75mm of them are evil and have no conscious. But a few of them still feel and want to be part of society. You won't get them to break for Biden, but you can break them just enough to have a seat in November and get right with God.

Goddamit, did she kill her dog too? I like most of your takes. But "Hey there's four more months for America to get behind a guy getting really fucking old by the day" isn't a great campaign strategery.