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After you scroll past all the google hits on "Dr. Ronnie Johnson" about Ronny Jackson...the first two legit Doctors are a PhD teaching African Studies. The other a physician on the East Coast who helps men with breast related health issues. This fucking simulation.

I know we are "In Spirit", but I don't really consider El Paso to have much in common with Port Arthur. I think one is the Desert Southwest and the other is the 'Deep South.' Same with Pampa with the RGV. One is more of a Great Plains area, the other is not really 'The South', more like 'La Frontera.' This is true. I think you draw a line just on the outskirts of the South Side to Louisville. One way to Richmond, VA, the other to Amarillo, and everything below is some version "The South"

Like some twisted version of that Reebok '92 campaign "Dan versus Dave. To be settled in Barcelona"

It's good to know that Hamas likes to wear Patagonia jackets and vests when to battle in 90 degrees, just like the douchebags in Texas.

More like False Profits, amirite Matt?

That's too much of Virginia in Yellow, but yeah-southern Missouri isn't really the Midwest. And I'd turn LA from Orange to Red, maybe even a slice of East Texas. fucking Florida...

I kinda alternate between a home-made blend vinegar-based one, or Weedtaliator Organocide from my local nursery. We had a new invasive species this year (presumably because it was a wetter than usual springs). And I'm still not sure what to use on it. Because it's just been laughing at my efforts the last few weeks.

The way he synchs it up with Robert Shaw's body language, and then each time even something more ludicrous comes out of his mouth, it pans perfectly to Dreyfus' face like "What the fuck is he talking about?" Somebody needs to nominate this for an Academy Award for Best Short Film.

I sincerely 50% of U.S. citizens have been to 5 of those places, maybe 3. 60% of Americans don't have passports (which I realize you don't need to see those places, but it's indicative of how insular our citizenry is. Average American has only visited 12 states, & 12% of Americans have never left the state they were born in. 14% have never been in an airplane. And nearly 20% will be born, live, and die having never traveled more than 300 miles from their hometown in any direction. We are not exactly the enlightened country Thomas Jefferson had in mind when he invented the $2 bill as our nation's 17th President.

You show John Hughes some damn respect! Hughes wrote only one "serious" script, and that was "Planes, Trains, & Automobiles." Granted it's funny as hell, but it's got so much layered heart that gets better with each passing year. But somehow I don't see it working with Anthony Michael Hall as Del and Judd Nelson as Neal.

Let’s just nuke the fucking system. i am genuinely torn on when to do the next organic weed application. I do it today, it’ll help ahead of the rain sucking weeds. But could have a much more of a runoff. Or do I wait a week until this downpour is over and then apply to what will probably be a more robust set of shit grasses and weeds?

According to half of TexAgs, it was a ‘false flag’ scam. Like most of their ‘championship’ banners.

Yeah, those four years at Iowa and traveling amateur teams...I remember all those social media posts about how mean and racist she was put up her teammates. That thing they had 5 years to report on, and possibly monetize. But didn't because apparently they didn't happen.

Totally doesn’t look like a pre-teen Ivanka or anything. Not at all.

Here’s the list of Blacks for Trump folks ”I haven’t heard of most of these names. And this guy Cain here is dead.” well, cross him off then

I’ll tell you this much. The ‘guns’ on the female lifeguards at the westenfield pool where my daughters are taking swim lessons this summer are more than adequate. Like a college version of bay watch meets Navarone over there. What are we talking about again?

I readily admit, I don't never followed the WNBA and never will. The worst player in that league would beat me 1:1, 9 times outta 10. They finally get the spotlight shone on them and they are doing absolutely every single thing they can to fuck it up. Clark is in a precarious position because she could go play overseas and not deal with this women-holding-back-women thing and make more of a salary. But her endorsement potential would drop a lot if she's not in the WNBA/NBA/U.S. limelight to push product to American girls. This really is one of the more insane things in sports I've seen in my lifetime. I mean, I get ribbing the new, flashy rookie with some trash talk and making her earn her stripes. But this is just literally gutting the checkbooks of most franchises. And for what? Because she's handled herself gracefully and brought attention to your sport without being an asshole about it? Talk about stepping on your own dick.

I never realized how much Ron White looks like a villain in "Game of Thrones"

what mean "we", Tonto?

Mike Elko, "Dad?" This documentary seems like an annoying premise and I want to avoid it. But the films of John Hughes, many filmed just a few miles from where I grew up as I came of age just behind this generation will always be near and dear to my heart. Even if most of the actors involved turned out to be complete douchebags. I realize he didn't create all their films, but he captured lightning in a bottle. Too bad most of them went on to do little else of note. But they did some good work together and managed to not lose one another to overdoses or suicide, so that's something I guess. Some of their movies aged horribly, but some stick with you like a forgotten song from childhood.

That's 8,000 people, Dr. Ben Carson? Sorry, but there's a Ralph Ellison novel reference or 3/5 compromise reference in here somewhere if Kellyanne has the courage to do what's wrong. And no, I don't expect 99% of MAGA nation to get either reference.

You gave your underage daughter a PBR? Aren't you worried about the alcohol content? "Yeah, Popsicle Blue Ribbon." Almost 10 years into fatherhood and 2 girls later, I still have no idea what the fuck I'm doing. But I guess that's the point. Enjoy your day, fellas.

The Laettner/Shaq thing was always curious to me. Reggie Miller simply wasn't good enough to be on the final 12 because they wanted to have one amateur on the squad as a nod to the college history of the Olympic teams. But probably should have been Shaq. You take away that college spot, then yeah-Reggie likely gets the nod. But they had enough good shooters. People can bitch and moan all they want about I. Thomas all they want, if he plays---Jordan doesn't. The team still wins Gold, but they lose the prestige and marketing of having the greatest NBA player if Jordan doesn't go onto the roster. Jordan says if Thomas plays, I don't. Plain and simple. Wasn't that tough of a call. Now to draw a comparison to what's going on with this Women's Olympic squad. Think of Larry Bird. He's by far the oldest player on the team, obviously an NBA legend at the point. But he's got back problems, doesn't play that much in the build-up to the games, nor the games themselves. But they wanted him on there because he was a talented and proven veteran who had "earned it." Same shit happening with this Women's team. Field the best 12, great. We get it. But you simply make more money for the team for 2028 by putting marketable faces on the squad as well. Was anybody buying Larry Bird merch in 1993? No.

Yeah, gotta admit to this day I crave Olive Garden salad and breadsticks multiple times a year. Their entrees are for shit. But when wife and I were dating and on a budget we'd hit up that one on South Lamar for breadsticks and salad and one drink each and be totally content. I'd still probably do it, but that location still, to this day, has a line out the door and a 60 minute wait. I don't know how they do it. Barshop & Oles is literally trying to figure out a way to work their franchise/corporate office to keep that location there while they redevelop that whole site because it does so damn well. meanwhile every other restaurant within a 1000 yard radius is bleeding cash and about to close.