YGIFS

Only time I worry about you is when you quit bitchin', sweetheart. (and you're not giving Rex Kramer enough credit on who is the most self-important poster) Levity aside, I am genuinely curious if she'll weigh in on this. She was very vocal for decades and the kinda got oddly silent on current events. But then, we've seen the futility surrounding famous people, political or artistic or otherwise, speaking out against gun violence. Shit, if McConaughey from Uvalde from the White House press room can't call attention to this shit...what hope do we have? I doubt the Michigan State House does anything since they let assault-rifle open carry goons into the Capitol to complain about not being able to go to Chili's. And then we need to flesh out the bump stock ruling by SCOTUS. We actually had a relatively quiet few months for America, in terms of mass shootings. We're just fucking due. Probably here in Texas as well.

Was he thinking of Sen. Ron Johnson who was critical in his efforts to illegally overturn Wisconsin's election results? Or did he mistake Dr. Ronny Jackson for Dr. Ronny Johnson. Or was it Rick Johnson's Pizzeria from Colgate University?

She's by far the most famous person from there. She's gonna be distraught and likely give some public comments. And rightfully so. She hasn't been terribly outspoken on political issues the last couple decades, but I suspect that may change soon. So thanks for the neg rep and complete lack of awareness of things larger than yourself.

Y'all know Dr. Jackson better as "Randy Johnson" from the "What's Going Down" episode of "That's my Senile President." Please welcome to the stage. I mean, we all misstep surnames. But when you're speaking to a large audience about how cognitively sharp you are, and you can't get the name of the guy to whom you are referring, correct. Not a good look. But I'm sure it'll be reported he just gained another 2 points in the polls because of this. "He confuses common Black last names like we confused common Black names!"

I did not have ‘Ukrainian Kamikaze Drones’ on my 2024 Bingo Card. Does the drone do a shot of sake before hitting the target or how does this work?

Tangerine, the Lemon Song, and what’s the third one?

I mean, c'mon folks..."Don-Ald Shark" to the beat of "Ba-By Shark" is just sitting right there. I'll rewrite the lyrics if somebody can edit the video with his orange ass on the shark. I mean, one of the sharks in the video is actually orange for fuck's sake.

Or does the Paul's dick conspiracy reach way further around than you knew?

Anybody know where's gonna be buried? I assume somewhere in/around Houston? So I take colossal shit on his headstone. Or is that not "Christ Followers"-esque? He was the one that came up with the deflection talking point of, "Well, these heinous acts of a sexual nature are different. You see. Because the SBC has no central leadership structure, so you can't really call it institutional evil. It was just...different." When your defense against anally raping children in the name of God and Party...and your defense is your Church's fucking Org Chart. Yeah, burn in hell motherfucker. To be fair to Mr. Pressler, he was probably around a drag show brunch at some point in the 1940s.

a tacky casino on the brink of financial failure with his name written up and down the sides of it while he acts out tantrums, and sexually abuses his own wife while fucking up everything else around him? Nope, sorry. I don't see the parallels.

Madonna isn't gong to take this well.

i've flown through there dozens of times and I never made the connection from mid-continent int'l to the defunct phone carrier. About 10 years ago, we had this dipshit exec. asst. that I let handle my travel bookings for a few months before I couldn't take it anynore. She could come up the most creative ways to fuck them up. She would just google the name of the airport and assume that's what would type in the field to book it under my already pre-filled airline profiles. So I'd say, "Natalie, on Thursday...AUS to MCI." And she's ping me back with "Looks like it's called KCI, for Kansas City Int't." She did the same think with Newark Liberty once, told her to just book "AUS TO EWR" and she replies with "EWR" doesn't really seem like it has much to do with Liberty. She would call me to the front because she didn't understand why my ORD instructions weren't 'CHI' or what the X in "LAX" stood for. I finally had to tell her "the 3-letter code aren't the always the fucking first 3 letters of the city." Took me a month to get approval for my own card so I book my own shit. I'll never forget how confused she was when she found out FLL-Hollywood airport wasn't in California.

Elevenumerated! Well, why not just have Enumerated be 9th, and have that be the top ninemuration? These go to 11.

If that service is not called 'the Thorough Burro', I don't want to attend another wedding ever again. I've actually seen something similar to that with a goat at a wedding in Mexico. But it was just a satchel with a couple bottles of tequila and shot glasses. But this takes it a whole 'nother level. It's like YETI invented livestock I really want to have been there when they ordered the floral arrangement. "Well sir, we don't necessarily upcharge for weddings. But there is the cost of a prompt delivery to the venue, final touches, customization for the event, etc." -I'm not paying extra, this is for a donkey. "Whuh?"

Let me just crunch the numbers here real quick. Okay, looks like we've got a 73% chance of getting the truck through the intersection unscathed. Wait! Goddamnit Leroy!

Well, Brisket seems to be taking Father's Day weekend rather well. Biden gets so much help from the MSM. He took a few steps over to wave to some folks, and they cut the feed because he eventually wandered into an ocean on a battery-powered boat surrounded by freakin' sharks. They would never do that for Trump.

Space is totally gay.

I'm assuming, because she's a fucking idiot, she thinks that there's sales tax on tips...because the tip line is usually proffered after the sales tax has been added to the original bill. I'm sure any server at Boebert's restaurant could explain this to her since every one 'em is smarter than MTG and Lauren. Also, you could start a grass-roots effort to "End Tariffs on Sales Tax" -or- "No More Estate Tax on Tips", and we could have a generously funded PAC up and running by Independence Day. There really is no end to way you can steal these people's money. You could have a line at these MAGA restaurants after the server tip line that just says, "3% for the 3%" and have it automatically calculated and printed, and 90% of the dipshits would just sign off on it.

Same reason 90% of hotel linens are white, so you can bleach the hell out of it. Are you new to laundry or what? I guess the boxer-briefs I like are never in white, but I still wash 'em on high heat. But yeah, as a kid---tighty whities. But to this day, we still buy white towels and sheets and pillowcases and all that. You can't bleach 'em every time or they wear out so much faster. But probably once every month or two. I myself once dabbled in colorfully striped towels, Dude. You're just postponing the inevitable.

Because of the battery-powered submarines? Now will the battery get crushed under the water pressure like that mini-craft that was down looking at the titanic? Or was that setup ploy by the Sharks? Also, I was today years old when I learned you can get hepatitis in your ears.

Will said McLeaf also make me have a bowel movement that smells like Angela Lansbury ate 30 deviled eggs at ACL Music Festival and took a hot shit in a sleeping bag?

So we're all agreed "South Bronx Love Fest" will be headlined by Ted Nugent, Kid Rock, Jason Aldean, and a creepy youth minister with an acoustic guitar purchased at Sears.

"Excuse me ma'am, in what aisle may I find the 'Ass-to-Ass' accessories? Four, is it? Got it, thank you."

Did you order the Toner Red? You're goddamn right I did!

Do you know how perpetual calendars work? Every 6-8 years, everyone's birthday will fall on a Wednesday for an average of about ten per lifetime. A weird one in our family is my brother was born on 9/11, so it'll always be that date no matter the day of the week. Same as my sister who was born on Independence Day. I was born on Memorial Day, but it only hits my birthdate every 6-8 years. My mother was born on Ash Wednesday, but of course that one moves around even more than mine because you gotta have a solstice, a full moon, and then count back 40 days or whatever the hell it is they do over there with the counting/non-counting of Sundays and Pentacost. Apparently Jesus rose from the dead on 35 different dates from 22 March to 25 April. That has to be exhausting.