YGIFS

Reputation for being something of the village idiot. -Well, I still say we're related! (that one kills me every fucking time)

Karen Check-in table? Thanks for the nightmare fuel dude. "Check in? Don't you know who I am. I'm Karen. I'd like to speak the manager!" -Well you can't do that until you check-in at this table. "You're violating my 1st amendment rights!"

Most of the places I go to for lawn shit and gear are in these localized sets of strip centers (Lowe's, HEB, et. al). And between the aisles, they have narrow walkways or gravel/grass islands. So you can take your time, I can have my little girls help me out without worrying about a car hitting 'em. I can take my time and not have some dipshit waiting on my spot impatiently. Plus they put more trees out towards the back of the aisles so vehicle doesn't get as hot while we're shopping. It's not rocket surgery. I think you said we met once and you seem really butt-hurt about all my posts, but when you have kids with you---it's nice to back up so they can help load the groceries or plants or whatever without having to worry about some texting driver in a nearly silent EV or 7000# F-250 clip one of 'em if I'm parked the other way.

Most of the places I go to for lawn shit and gear are in these localized sets of strip centers (Lowe's, HEB, et. al). And between the aisles, they have narrow walkways or gravel/grass islands. So you can take your time, I can have my little girls help me out without worrying about a car hitting 'em. I can take my time and not have some dipshit waiting on my spot impatiently. Plus they put more trees out towards the back of the aisles so vehicle doesn't get as hot while we're shopping. It's not rocket surgery. I think you said we met once and you seem really butt-hurt about all my posts, but when you have kids with you---it's nice to back up so they can help load the groceries or plants or whatever without having to worry about some texting driver clip one of 'em if I'm parked the other way.

"Crimes Against Humidity"??? So is that like a desert, or a dehumidifier, or cooling the Earth again, or how does this work? I got a bad grade in my Weather & Climate class at UT.

Did Ted Cruz just tacitly reveal a classified briefing he was given on terror cells from the FBI?

Swatting is not cool. He didn however get paid a visit by TABC that was about to go sideways for the distillery, but then somebody felt bad about all the employees that'd be out of a job, one of whom is neighbors with his cousin out in Belterra.

So at my daughters' elementary school, there's a somewhat major road that has CoA crossing guards. But there's two 'intra-parking lot' crossings where all the car dropoffs and busses go through. So once a week to give the teachers a break, we go and do crossings plus open and shut car doors for the younger ones so they can get out faster and we can move the line. And, no Lobo hyperbole, about 50% of the parents---as soon as I shut that door or turn my stop to slow and wave them thru...the parent starts fucking around on their phone. In a parking lot, at peak volume time, with hundreds of kids around. And there's a half-dozen signs that say 'school zone, cell phone use prohibited.' I know everybody is super important and has lots to look at on their phones in the morning, but it's just insane to me. Just in the two years I've been doing it, we've had so many close calls. I mean we all came up at schools where the parents were holding a cig in the left hand, styrofoam coffee in the right, shifting a manual, and steering with their knees. But at least somebody in their department was watching the road. These folks just immediately start driving, staring down, rumbling a 6,000 Suburban or F-250 through a parking lot full of kids. /rant

I promise if you asked her staff, they'd reply with "Well there can't be a sasquatch cub because there is no female Bigfoot with which he can breed." They seriously reply to most insane inquiries with no sense of irony. I gotta stop doing it though. But dairy queen sounds really good for tomorrow.

NSIAP. Even though he's not on the playoff roster, will Longhorn Greg Brown get a ring when the Mavs win the title? I don't know how it works in the NBA since he didn't play much this season.

Necrobump. We all get lots of robo-calls/scam likely throughout the day. Has anybody gotten this kind recently where it says "I have the receipts" and texts you a screenshot of supposed mixed calls/voicemails to their number from yours. Comes from a google landline that surprise, comes up as the Feed Foundation. I laughed it off since he couldn't spell my name right but I don't want my wife to start getting them or my daughters to read them on my phone, as some of the messages have a threatening tone. They sent a download of these supposed voicemails which of course I didn't do. But I don't want my daughters hitting the down arrow to put that shit onto my phone or see whatever the fuck pops up. What's their play when they attempt this shit?

I'll never understand this beef. Have you never owned a truck(which park better in reverse in some situations) or loaded Any vehicle for a road trip? It's so much easier. I will do my thing down flip it and reverse it for bigger trips with my wives car when when she doesnt back in; more time for backing in later-amirite? Yeah this. I don't do it a lot, but if I've stuff to load into the back of the truck...I'll select a spot farther away from the store so I can take my time to get the vehicle backed up proper without a buncha pedestrians. And that way I can take my sweet time loading mulch or a bunch of groceries without people waiting on me to get my old ass out of the way. Plus you can usually grab a shaded spot by parking farther away since they tend to plant more trees in the egress/ingress areas of retail/strip centers/hardware stores/etc. My biggest parking pet peeve is no matter how far away I park, and how many spaces I leave on either side of me. Invariably, someone will park right next to me despite there being 100 open spaces. I don't get it.

If this simulation has any hint of humor, it will tell Ken Paxton that there is a life-saving eye surgery available just over the border into New Mexico. But he can't go

"These aren't the ATCAMS you're looking for" -These aren't the ATCAMS we're looking for. Alright, move along then.

RonBurgundyVoice, "Simulation, are you just looking around the room for words that sound like common Russian first names and famous pedophiles?" -What? I love Cyrillic, okay? I love Cyrillic.

What is the taint, Alex?

Yeah, if something is hitting the house or half cracked and dangling down (that's what she said)...I'm all for cutting and painting. But I'm talking dozens of limbs at a time and no painting in June 'cause the crew is paid to prune and not paint. And these neighbors think it's a good idea because they're getting a cheap deal, which is only because these arbor crews don't have much work in June. I still call out City of Austin or a pro crew to get the really high shit near the lines because I'm just too old to get up there now. But for most regular maintenance, I still do it myself because I know the cuts and I paint correctly. I'm not gonna be hosting a TV show on DIY lawncare, but I know what I'm doing and I need the manual labor exercise. But some crew puts a door hanger on at my neighbor's for "50% off in June", next thing I know...I gotta a buncha dipshits. Hardworking, but dipshits. Just violating oak after oak with no concept of how Oak Wilt spreads. /rant

I'm not Matt Gaetz. I'm an alcoholic looking to spend my time outta my head for a week because I usually distract myself with my lovely family. Sickie.

"Well, Curly. he hasn't committed any financial crimes or co-conspired to overthrow our government today." -Day ain't over yet, Lobo.

Yeah, I've got a few fishing excursions planned for next week. I can't go swimming which is my usual cathartic release since my little one brought home this Impetigo thing home a couple weeks ago and I still have scabs (probably doesn't help my liver is still just starting to heal). Been doing more walking and biking (I can't run for shit in this heat). It was just that about two years ago at this time, we went on a family trip to Colorado. My wife then went on and took the girls to her family's ranch in NW Kansas. And I went home for work via airplane. And I went pretty excessive. And then the withdrawals of that were my big wakeup call. That's when y'all got stuck with me coming back to the board after I'd been gone away for awhile. I realize history doesn't have to repeat itself, it just feels antsy. But I have lots to do and can go to more meetings since I won't have to explain to anybody why I'm heading out of the house for no reason on some evenings. Obviously, it doesn't have to do with who is around and who isn't. It's about us and our shit and working to handle it. Just a Lobo mid-day ramble. I've also got our annual first-generation pre-college Academy at UT which will keep me focused on service. And thankfully, they don't serve alcohol at 17 year old functions. Not that open bars are my problem, it's my fucking head.

I'm down to clown in waffle town.

Imagine losing your ball in the overgrown grass of your mother's grave and asking your caddie/foursome, "Yeah, if I could just get a drop...that'd be fine. Also the drip." Yes, by most accounts of folks I know who know him, he was rather estranged from his father for decades. Their sense is he was offered some kind of "be re-included" for XYZ. He was peripherally involved in the Trump Org and gameshow, but would often come in and out only for meetings/tapings and then the hell back outta there. Tiffany was never offered such a deal, and as such-you never see/hear from her. Eric yearns for his father's affection, but barely gets noticed. Ivanka is the only one smart enough to see how to exploit his time in office for personal gain and that of her family. And it absolutely worked, and now she's distanced herself from him. Probably because he sexually molested her as a child and she needs legal cover. I'm sure Barron is a nice enough kid, born into a family of absolute shitbags. He's apparently still deciding between many fine colleges, that thing you do in June instead of March. My money is on Trump forces him to go college wherever he can grift the most money from them to host his Presidential Library. The facility never gets built and Barron drops out.

^ Good to hear, man. To berate the point as I am wont to do. My drinking was way too frequent but it was when I went into withdrawals that really woke me up to the need to stop. Like you, I could really enjoy and holy my liquor. I enjoyed good stuff and good times. Got a little too tipsy a few times but was largely functioning, not violent, not loud, and not blackout. But about 21+ months ago, the lack of it really started to hit me and it wasn't pretty. My wife and kids are leaving for a trip with her family on Friday for about a week. I have to admit, I am worried again. My sponsor is out of town as well. I've got a buncha folks in my network to rely on. But my main concern is I could have one night of drinks and be fine. But it'd be hell to pay for 72 hours after that and our zoom calls would reflect that. Anybody in Austin wanna meet up next week for coffee, please lemme know. I could use an expanded network as folks are in and out town this time of year.

I think it would more Eric than anybody. Although I can see a coke-fueled Don, Jr. running around shouting "pots & pans, pots & pans, pots & pans!" All fitting though since Trump is a less sophisticated confidence man than Michael Caine. and Ivanka would be the Jackal, the only smart one of the group running the grift. And Jared as the "Freddie" at the end who is a mute because he basically never talks. Oh, how he loves to run and run. For President.

I think they'd still uphold their own national integrity of laws and ask... "Well if President Trump is ineligible to visit, what about his Secretary of State?" -Also, a convicted felon "Okay, how about your Deputy Secretary of State?" -Again, convicted felon "Can we meet with the Undersecretary for Public Diplomacy?" -Once again, Trump-appointed felon "Well, who do you have we can host and meet with?" -We have Richard from the Copy Room. Is that anything?