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The only thing weirder than having sex with a couch, is having a video clip of another dude having sex with that couch. At least the other two parties are into it. You're just the guy in the corner with an orange light that could be a cigarette, could be a record button, trying to remain quiet.

Guard! Put this man in voting booth #3. And get him a drink!

Who told you to catch the duck in there, Nicole?

When not near a large screen and just wanna keep up with event results, I'm using "The Score" app. Same one a lot of use for college sports, soccer, etc. It takes a few minutes to customize the results, like you can dismiss events you don't care about, set timezone not in Paris, medal table, etc. It's not perfect, but better than the NBC one. You can still click randomly on certain events if you wanna deep-dive, athlete profiles. But if you set it up right, you can just glean the latest medley results and hoops scores in seconds. And no ads so long as you don't click on the extended-play videos which you can wait to do until you get home.

I used to touch Fawn’s couch like this. -I know. She told me.

You’d think if he could grow skin that quickly, he’d add a few inches to his micro penis instead.

So JD Vance’s ball-sack shaped hairy face, a burnt monkey testicle, and Tucker’s freshly tanned scrotum all walk into a bar.

Wow, J.D. really knows how to double-down on being baited. For such a smart guy, he really is dumb. He's what, two weeks into the campaign? And he's having to deflect insane stories, is underwater in the polls/fundraising already, addressing each and every celebrity and politician critique of him, bungling most media appearances, etc. And he's about to be sent out by Trump to start Indian dogwhistling while telling his wife and children goodbye as he gets on the plane without a hint of irony.

Well Doc said, he's been swallowing a lot of aggression lately. Along with a lotta pizza.

It's nice for the Woman's. It's nightmare fuel for the Men's. Not because you're looking at their junk, but because of how much kneeing to the balls (intentional or unintentional) goes on down there.

Cauldron? Like what Witches use? Enchubben, avert your eyes, avert your eyes!

Paris literally invented the word 'Macabre', there's 6 million skulls in those catacombs/ossuaries, 'Tarot' cards started in France, more burial plots per square kilometer than any city of its size in Europe...by far. One of several starting points for modern magic, some occult study, and Ouija come from Paris. While still a very Christian city, majority Catholic, they are bound to the history of their city going back to the Roman Empire. I don't know if some of these tweets and above posters noticed, but the whole procession was populated by Parisian history from playful, to cliche, to artistic, to fashion, to the mysterious. Every four years, my amazement is rebooted in how fucking stupid our population is. Just looking to find shit where there isn't any without any sense of geographic, historical, or cultural insight. This is like a competition in Bhutan or Lesotho where none of us knows almost anything about those places. This is Paris, it's a major global city. In what she learned today watching the games and following along with a printed atlas with national facts, my daughter just surpassed at least half of MAGA nation in knowledge of the World. $50 and a bronze medal says there's a shocked and appalled fat American couple walking the streets of Paris latenight looking for a pizza place where they breed Parisian babies to eat.

We're looking at Lara Loomer 400% full of bullshit, 'round here.

J.D. Vance is hogging up all the snacks. Didn't you see his last $50,000 fundraising ad backstage? I don't like their approach, but wanting non-border states to participate in housing these undocumented folks is at least something I can wrap my head around. But an aide brings Gov. Abbott a list of ten cities close to Texas that have resources for these folks; which can either house them or detain them, until they can be sent back home in a humane fashion. So Gov. Abbott says, "These are all criminals, rapists, and gang members. I won't send them to Louisiana, Arkansas, or Oklahoma...those are my friends. These are bad people so let's send them to a highly sensitive U.S. Naval facility which houses some of the most delicate navigation and scientific instrumentation and data in the world. And oh yeah, the current VP and candidate for POTUS also lives there, so it would be a triple-dangerous situation to just leave all those bad people there, perfect. Staffer, "Uhhh? Da fuh?"

The 'seasonal' rotation makes sense, I'm sure they've thought of that. There's always some lesser game in season year around. But for a few months here and there, it's gonna be low-volume footprint. I wonder if there's something(s) else you could use say 25% of the inside for, to sell for camping or fishing. I dunno what, but I would assume those things are pretty modular inside. If you can shift around ammo types and quantities, you can probably make room, again during really slow hunting seasons, for something like a multi-tool, spool of fishing line, etc. Those little things we forget to grab on the way out the door. Obviously you can keep those out on the shelves, but some tools and lures 'n shit can be too easy to steal, this solves for that. Or, maybe porn?

I could never make out his Edie gourmet, “then I’ll have to ah-hurt You” joke. As in I literally cannot understand what Bruno Kirby is saying.

Well son, this one looks like some sort of...underwater, uh...tropical plant.

ted, even under a red meat embargo...you don't strike me as the kinda guy that can't sniff out a triple cheeseburger for breakfast, a sensible lunch, and then another triple cheeseburger for dinner. You make J.D. Vance look like a tri-athlete.

And he played for J.D.'s boyhood team. And you guys don't think we live in a simulation?

Moderator: "Senator Vance. Who is a lesser known American historical figure of great import to you, and why?" J.D., "I'd say Ethan Allen." Moderator: "Because he founded Vermont, was a great General in the Revolutionary War, and shaped much of early life in New England in the late 1700's?" J.D., "What? No, the high end furniture guy with all the nice couches. Who're you talking about?"

^ Yeah, that is one I do not get. Wife went in there to sell our old third car. Got the bid, which was under the one from her old dealership. So to make her stick around, he offers her the giant coin thing and says, "Could be your lucky day. With this coin, from our current inventory...I can offer an additional $1000 in savings if you use the coin today." We later found out people pay like $20 online to buy those coins to collect. So she leaves. You need a garage to look at the cars and a small meeting room, that's it. Meanwhile, they're sitting on a $2mm piece of land with a $2mm vending machine on it. If I like your deal, here's my title, and have my new car driven to my house tomorrow from your far more economical real estate plot in far East Austin. Saves us both a lotta money. I think the rural "last stop for supplies" idea will be the best use of the Ammo Machine. But think about some of those places we all stop at to fish, boat, hunt, camp, etc. they're not exactly bucc-ees or HEB. Every little square foot has to generate revenue for mom 'n pop to make ends meet. Those blue lottery podiums, an off-brand ATM, the soda fountain, dvd rental box, ice locker, etc. Everything has to generate a certain revenue stream for its size. These things have an awfully big footprint that may make it hard to sway the owners to put one on premise. But then again, every bait shop I've ever been to still has room for a twirling rack of worthless beanie babies, so who knows?

We’re not gonna tell you everything that’s coming. Just this 990 page manifest which contains literally every detail of what’s coming. He sounds like Goebbels at the end “sure things look a little rough right now with all of our weapons systems totally depleted. But alas, we have this secret super-weapon that nobody knows is coming in two weeks!”

"My opponent's experience in sofa as how it relates to border security is very limited and done al the way from Ohio. We need a modular approach for different sectionals, I mean sections, of the border. You've also got to account for sleepers. Groups that wait until nightfall to make their crossings. Our policy can't just be to go around chaise, I mean chasing, one-off coyotes like he proposes. We need a five-piece set to complete the design of the interior goals.

That would certainly help explain the downfall of their Empire.

That social media woman had the best explanation. He heard from some aide that Venezuela and some Central American countries were pouring out their mental hospitals, jails, and insane asylums to cross Mexico into the U.S. And on another occasion, he hears many are coming here seeking 'asylum.' He conflates the two definitions, and asks for a high profile example of somebody dangerous from an asylum., and Hannibal Lecter pops up on the first page. Without any understanding of political/religious/humanitarian asylum, he just runs with the talking point that everybody kinda nods their head to like, "Yeah, I think I remember that guy." The other weird thing, besides him constantly pointing out one person to be cannibalized at each really, is he prefaces it with "The Late, Great Hannibal Lecter." Hannibal doesn't die in the movie. We know this because we don't see him die, but fade into the crowd in the Bahamas. And he resurfaces stateside ten years later for another rampage. Anthony Hopkins, as you point out, is still alive in real life as well. First thing they tell you when you're showing dementia/early cognitive decline is to get out of your mental routine. Don't keep talking to the same people about the same thing over and over and over again. Just because you keep saying weird shit and it feels comforting, doesn't mean it doesn't accelerate the decline. You've got to expose yourself to new books, new groups of people, new activities requiring some brain power (puzzles, swimming, gardening, etc.), new shows and movies, new topics of conversation. It was one thing in 2016 when he was barely 70 because it got his crowd riled up because they craved easily digestible politics. But now, he's just running a paint-by-numbers thing, gets no pushback, and it's blatantly obvious to even the casual independent that he has no original thoughts anymore. He's just on a loop to the bottom.