First time caller, long time listener.
What would the AA community's thoughts be on someone who's been sober for almost 2 years starting AA, getting a sponsor, and working the steps? I've been wanting to try AA for a long time, but I have this serious hang up that nobody there will take me seriously because I already have a lot of sober time. I also feel like I may be wasting others' time over people who really need help now.
For background, I'm an alcoholic. I struggled off and on with quitting throughout my late 20's and 30's. I went to rehab years ago but didn't stay sober. Relapsed within two weeks of getting out and had another 3+ years of hell. Got to a point after COVID where my health was really starting to take a turn for the worse from drinking so much. I was diagnosed with diabetes, blood work was bad in just about every way from cholesterol, triglycerides, ALT/AST, etc. I had liver pains all the time. I had the realization that I was probably not going to live many more years if I kept on drinking, and I didn't like what my life had to show for it from drinking it away.
After a thousand starts, something just clicked at the right time, and I got sober through sheer white knuckling. I meant to go to AA seriously at some point, but I just kept pushing through on my own. I think because a lot of good things happened to me in early sobriety from the complete reversal of my diabetes, my health returning, losing a ton of weight, and social/life experiences improving that the highs just sort of carried me through the early months. I had a ton of close calls and cravings that peaked around the 10th month mark where I actually bought booze for the first time before finally pouring it down the sink without ever actually taking a sip. From that point on, for some reason, I've been in a much better state of mind and don't really get any serious cravings or anxiety anymore. I feel like I've worked on my inner self a lot, am more confident, and don't really think about drinking all that much except in passing. I'll even go on dates and hang out with friends in bars and there's not much more than passing thoughts about drinking that I'm easily able to push away with very little effort.
So why do I want to go to AA now? I've sort of hit a wall on my personal mental and spiritual growth, and I wanted to feel the spiritual awaking that's described in the 12 steps and see if helps me grow even further. I've also just sort of always admired the sober AA community and camaraderie from a distance. Would AA and the 12 steps even do anything more for me at this point at 20 months sober or would I be wasting everyone's time?