Why is the responsible person always looked at as the asshole? My brother has been an active alcoholic all of his adult life. He is currently going thru a nasty divorce, felony assault charge looming over him and not worked in 10 years. Earlier this year as the assault charge was coming down he asked my Mother if she would help him get into rehab. After he completed rehab and IOP I was asked if he could use one of my company's non branded Tahoe's while he was getting back on his feet. My wife and I discussed it and decided that if he followed certain conditions he could borrow the truck. First, He would have to pay his own insurance. Second, no drinking. Third, be working the steps. Forth, be actively looking for a job. Fifth, if he did not comply with these conditions he would lose the truck and a relationship with us. Everything was going great until the weekend before Halloween. He was in an accident and hit 2 parked cars in Chuy's Round Rock parking lot. The evening of the accident I get a call from my Mom that (his words) he blacked out and was in Willco jail and we could come pick him up now. Things did not add up so I called a friend who has access to Willco booking computer and get the charge: DWI 3rd. Come to find out from my insurance company that before the cops showed up he tried to pass himself off as me and gave the other drivers an expired USAA insurance card. He had Geico. USAA also told me his BAC .273. He did about $7500 in damage to my car and about $10,000 to each of the other cars as well. The next week in one last attempt to help I went to Dallas to take him back to rehab and he basically shut the door in my face. I told him as i was leaving that until he worked the 9th step I was going to be out of his life. So now we are at Christmas and every year we invite the whole family to our house Christmas night for dinner. My Mom feels that my brother should be included because his son will be at the dinner and he's currently sober. I don't and won't invite him. I have been thru Al-Anon and if I don't detach with love I would just be contributing to his problems. Sorry if this is the wrong thread for this post its just so frustrating when you can look at the user and the enabler and watch things keep getting worse. Thanks for letting me rant.