This is such an amazing post. Without even getting into the the stupidity of the argument that because you've watched more soccer you have a better opinion than someone else, your claim of "500 finals since 1985" would mean that you've watched more than 14 finals per year, every year.
Let's tally up the numbers.
Since 1985, there have been:
9 WC finals, 8 European Cup finals (I'm generously assuming the Euro was even available on domestic TV in most of that time period; even in 2004 we had to PPV it), 14 Copa America finals, 11 televised Gold Cup finals, 10 Confederations Cup finals, 18 AFCON finals (again, impressive that you were able to find that 1992 thriller between Cote d'Ivoire and Ghana on TV; even in 2015 I had to go to an Ivorian restaurant in Harlem to watch a pirated stream.)
Assuming you also watched every FA Cup and League Cup final since 1985, that's 70 more, bringing our total to 140. Every Copa Libertadores (35) + every Copa Sudamericana (18) + every MLS Cup final ( 35) + every Copa del Rey (35) is 123 more. So that's 263, just over halfway there!
DFP Pokal (35) + Coupe de France finals (34; the final in 1992, as I'm sure you're aware since you weren't able to watch, was not played due to the collapse at the Furiani Stadium, which killed 18 people) + every Champions League (35) and UEFA Cup/Europa League (35) is another 139. So that's 402.
I'm scratching my head here – what are the other 98 finals you've watched? I guess there's the Women's World Cup, Olympics (men and women), what else? Are you including youth international tournaments? Your kids' tournaments?