Gandalfish

From unincorporated Harris county FIGHT!

I’m starting to think this thread should be moved to the Cloak Room.

Could it be that people are used to buying these the week of the game? Would need to compare it to a tailgate following a bye week?

This got me engaging in some wildly-wishful predictions 6. First Round Game vs. Clemson. Ewers goes bananas, has literally the best game of his career (98.1 QBR) +10 for a win = 108.1 7. Quarterfinal Game vs. Arizona State. Ewers is extremely efficient and makes some huge plays (90.7 QBR) + 20 for the win = 110.7 8. Semifinal Game vs. Oregon. Ewers and company win a high scoring game, the defense bends a lot but does just enough in the end to win (93.2 QBR) + 30 for win = 123.2 9. Championship Game vs. Notre Dame. Ewers plays efficient, mistake-free ball. Indeed winning the whole fucking thing (89.0 QBR) + 60 for win = 149.0 409.3 (points from last five regular season games) + 491 (playoff points) / 9 (games) = 100.0 --> DUDE IS A BOSS, a legend is born. 🤞🤘

I've decided to extend this rating system into the playoff. Here's what Quinn has done so far since I started this highly scientific rating system: 1. Texas 49-17 vs. Florida. Score = 100.0 2. Texas 20-10 vs. Arkansas Score = 72.0 3. Texas 31-14 vs. Kentucky Score = 77.6 4. Texas 17-7 vs. Aggy Score = 89.1 5. Georgia 22-19 vs. Texas Score = 70.6 Here is how the playoff games will factor into the rating going forward: 6. First Round Game vs. Clemson. Sum Ewers QBR +10 for a team win -10 for a team loss. 7. Quarterfinal Game vs. Arizona State. Sum Ewers QBR +20 for a team win -10 for a team loss. 8. Semifinal Game vs. Oregon, Ohio State or Tennessee. Sum Ewers QBR +30 for a team win -10 for a team loss. 9. Championship Game vs. Some Asshole. Sum Ewers QBR +60 for a team win -10 for a team loss. Here is our scale again, unchanged: 0-65.0 : THE ULTIMATE PUSSY : Sorry Quinn, you are officially and forever a Huge Pussy 65-75 : PRETTY MUCH A PUSSY : Quinn, you had so much potential but you ended up playing like a Pussy for us. There might be hope for you in the future though. 75-85 : KIND OF A PUSSY : Quinn, we would have had a real shot this season if you didn't play like a pussy one too many times. Good luck in the NFL though bro. 85-95 : MOST LIKELY NOT A PUSSY : Quinn did enough to win, but could he have done more? (I admit if we end up here the argument will go on. I'll take my chances) 95-100 : DEFINITELY NOT A PUSSY : You can say what you want about Quinn Ewers, but he ain't no pussy. 100+ : DUDE IS A BOSS : It turns out you guys have just been haters the whole time. Potential Longhorn Legend. Quinn is sitting not-so-pretty at an average of 81.9, which is KIND OF A PUSSY. Pretty much the worst he could end up after the playoffs is PRETTY MUCH A PUSSY, which would be a drop of one category. He could easily get to MOST LIKELY NOT A PUSSY with a few wins and solid performances. To get to DEFINITELY NOT A PUSSY he would probably have to at least make the championship game and play well. Crunching a few numbers DUDE IS A BOSS is pretty much only achievable if he wins the whole fucking thing and plays out of his mind the whole time.

1. Texas 49-17 vs. Florida. Score = 100.0 (QBR 90.0 +10 for win) 2. Texas 20-10 vs. Arkansas Score = 72.0 (QBR 62.0 +10 for win) 3. Texas 31-14 vs. Kentucky Score = 77.6 (QBR 67.6 +10 for win) 4. Texas 17-7 vs. Aggy Score = 89.1 (QBR 79.1 +10 for win) 5. Georgia 22-19 vs. Texas Score = 70.6 (QBR 70.6 -10 for team loss +10 for this game being the SEC championship) Average = 81.9 --> KIND OF A PUSSY : "Quinn, we would have had a real shot this season if you didn't play like a pussy one too many times. Good luck in the NFL though bro." This actually pretty accurately reflects my feelings right now. I harbor no personal feelings of ill will to the guy, he is still our QB1, I want him to succeed now and in the future, wherever that takes him. I do feel extremely disappointed on where he is, given the expectations we were sold on early in his career. Unfortunately, I think that Longhorn fans will still be arguing about this in twenty years.

Seriously, the conversation is Fucking over. Quinn Ewers fucking sucks.* *Again, leaving the original, drunken, angry post. I was blowing off steam.

Seriously, fuck you and yours. 1 TD, 2 INT, terrible game. He is the weakest link.* *Your post made a good point, I was just drunk and angry. My bad.

I’m finally ready to say it. Fuck Ewers, he sucks. Seriously, fuck that guy. I am mother fucking done with him.* *I’m leaving the drunken, angry original post as is, but it was hyperbolic

Should definitely experiment with this at the next tailgate.

Empty plastic bottles don't go far or have much impact. A full bottle with no cap is difficult to throw without spilling all over yourself.

Georgia 17 Texas 20 36 rushes for 147 yards

1. Texas 49-17 vs. Florida. Score = 100.0 (QBR 90.0 +10 for win) 2. Texas 20-10 vs. Arkansas Score = 72.0 (QBR 62.0 +10 for win) 3. Texas 31-14 vs. Kentucky Score = 77.6 (QBR 67.6 +10 for win) 4. Texas 17-7 vs. Aggy Score = 89.1 (QBR 79.1 +10 for win) 5. We watch the next Texas game of the season (Bowl game, SEC Championship, or First round playoff). Sum Ewers QBR +10 for a team win -10 for a team loss -30 if this is a bowl game +10 if it's the SEC championship. Again, despite the win, Quinn is still hanging out in KIND OF A PUSSY territory with an average score of 84.7 so far. Gentlemen, take ten paces, turn and fire.

Man am I glad our D fucks.

Need an 8 minute TD drive here.

And the thread implodes.

Thanks to Bert for giving Surly something to complain about right before half time.

Yes.

A salute and some horns is sucking up? He’s a goofy state treasure.

https://www.espn.com/college-football/player/_/id/4429121/kalel-mullings Dude had a super name though.

From Columbus Texas, TEXAS!

You actually can quantify pussification. Trust the *science. *It's not actually science