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NeverMarryAStripper

Certifiably Surly
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Posts posted by NeverMarryAStripper

  1. I’m in the Energy  Corridor and I lost power at about 7 am and my only damage is my lawn chairs blew over and one of the dog igloos blew into the yard, but I plan to rebuild. Went to check on my mom and found a Shipleys with power on the way so we had donuts and coffee.  Was going to take mom and go to the ranch, but I checked the San Bernardo outage map and it looks like power is down there too.

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  2. I've been in Houston for every Hurricane from Alicia on and never evacuated.  I've never suffered any damage other than enduring the lack of electricity (14 days is the longest so far).  I guess by posting that, I've doomed myself this time around.

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  3. Watched Mother of the Bride last night.  The writing was abysmal, and the acting wasn't any better. Brooke Shields has a giant FUPA, and Miranda Cosgrove has no tits and looks 12, so I just assumed that she was getting married to a pedophile.

    • Haha 1
  4. 6 hours ago, HouTex said:

    In the last 6 months or so I’ve noticed that I’m getting old man skin on my arms.  I bruise very easily.  I’m almost 62.   

    I worked on the yard yesterday and woke up this morning with a huge bruise on my shoulder and have no idea where it came from

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    • Rage+1 1
  5. 10 minutes ago, Brisketexan said:


    Yeah…this is one of the dumbest questions ever for people who are terrible at math.
    No bills? That only works if your bills are over 100k a month. I mean…I guess if you counted credit card bills as “bills,” and had a card with no limit, that would game things, but that’s not what this means.
    1 million every 36 months? Gee, that sounds so much better than 3.6 million over 36 months.
    People are dumb.

    There are no $ in that so I bet you would get 100 letter Ks falling out of the sky every month because that's just how wishes work

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    • Haha 1
  6. I’m going to have a custom electric shopping rascal  built.  It’s going to have a souped up motor and a cow catcher on front so that I can just drive around the store plowing over those fucksticks

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    • Drool 1
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