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NeverMarryAStripper

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by NeverMarryAStripper

  1. NeverMarryAStripper
    I've never heard of the Cap Metro bus spell.
  2. NeverMarryAStripper
    When Pitt turned around and yelled at him his dick was brown
  3. NeverMarryAStripper
    Anyone at Centerpoint wasting their time working on an outage map should be rounded up and put on a truck to go out and fix power lines
  4. NeverMarryAStripper
    Surly never forgets
  5. NeverMarryAStripper
    Centerpoint got my power back at 9:30 this morning, which was quicker than after the Derecho, so I'm not going to bad-mouth them.
  6. NeverMarryAStripper
    There’s a lot of money to be made selling globes
  7. NeverMarryAStripper
    Walk up music should be like nicknames, you shouldn’t be allowed to pick your own.
  8. NeverMarryAStripper
    Well he can’t shit on him if he’s not here
  9. NeverMarryAStripper
    I think it’s a violation to use Twitter for anything other than spreading disinformation
  10. NeverMarryAStripper
    I’m in the Energy Corridor and I lost power at about 7 am and my only damage is my lawn chairs blew over and one of the dog igloos blew into the yard, but I plan to rebuild. Went to check on my mom and found a Shipleys with power on the way so we had donuts and coffee. Was going to take mom and go to the ranch, but I checked the San Bernardo outage map and it looks like power is down there too.
  11. NeverMarryAStripper
    I've been in Houston for every Hurricane from Alicia on and never evacuated. I've never suffered any damage other than enduring the lack of electricity (14 days is the longest so far). I guess by posting that, I've doomed myself this time around.
  12. NeverMarryAStripper
    Watched Mother of the Bride last night. The writing was abysmal, and the acting wasn't any better. Brooke Shields has a giant FUPA, and Miranda Cosgrove has no tits and looks 12, so I just assumed that she was getting married to a pedophile.
  13. NeverMarryAStripper
    I worked on the yard yesterday and woke up this morning with a huge bruise on my shoulder and have no idea where it came from
  14. NeverMarryAStripper
    I take it you’ve never been on the baseball board
  15. NeverMarryAStripper
    I think most beaches aren’t full of sharks
  16. NeverMarryAStripper
    Now they're watching you
  17. NeverMarryAStripper
    There are no $ in that so I bet you would get 100 letter Ks falling out of the sky every month because that's just how wishes work
  18. NeverMarryAStripper
  19. NeverMarryAStripper
    KE = 1/2 * M * V^2 KE = 1/2 (1,800) (36)^2 KE = 1,166,400 Joules
  20. NeverMarryAStripper
    I'd do it if we could play this
  21. NeverMarryAStripper
    The fact that this warning is needed fully explains this country's political situation
  22. NeverMarryAStripper
    99*$220 = $21,780
  23. NeverMarryAStripper
    I’m going to have a custom electric shopping rascal built. It’s going to have a souped up motor and a cow catcher on front so that I can just drive around the store plowing over those fucksticks
  24. NeverMarryAStripper
    I feel like signing up for one of those seminars and asking him under what circumstances is it acceptable to shoot MAGA cunts
  25. NeverMarryAStripper
    Some people must just lead miserable lives

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