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NeverMarryAStripper

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by NeverMarryAStripper

  1. When Pitt turned around and yelled at him his dick was brown
  2. Anyone at Centerpoint wasting their time working on an outage map should be rounded up and put on a truck to go out and fix power lines
  3. Centerpoint got my power back at 9:30 this morning, which was quicker than after the Derecho, so I'm not going to bad-mouth them.
  4. Walk up music should be like nicknames, you shouldn’t be allowed to pick your own.
  5. Well he can’t shit on him if he’s not here
  6. I think it’s a violation to use Twitter for anything other than spreading disinformation
  7. I’m in the Energy Corridor and I lost power at about 7 am and my only damage is my lawn chairs blew over and one of the dog igloos blew into the yard, but I plan to rebuild. Went to check on my mom and found a Shipleys with power on the way so we had donuts and coffee. Was going to take mom and go to the ranch, but I checked the San Bernardo outage map and it looks like power is down there too.
  8. I've been in Houston for every Hurricane from Alicia on and never evacuated. I've never suffered any damage other than enduring the lack of electricity (14 days is the longest so far). I guess by posting that, I've doomed myself this time around.
  9. Watched Mother of the Bride last night. The writing was abysmal, and the acting wasn't any better. Brooke Shields has a giant FUPA, and Miranda Cosgrove has no tits and looks 12, so I just assumed that she was getting married to a pedophile.
  10. I worked on the yard yesterday and woke up this morning with a huge bruise on my shoulder and have no idea where it came from
  11. I take it you’ve never been on the baseball board
  12. I think most beaches aren’t full of sharks
  13. There are no $ in that so I bet you would get 100 letter Ks falling out of the sky every month because that's just how wishes work
  14. KE = 1/2 * M * V^2 KE = 1/2 (1,800) (36)^2 KE = 1,166,400 Joules
  15. The fact that this warning is needed fully explains this country's political situation
  16. I’m going to have a custom electric shopping rascal built. It’s going to have a souped up motor and a cow catcher on front so that I can just drive around the store plowing over those fucksticks
  17. I feel like signing up for one of those seminars and asking him under what circumstances is it acceptable to shoot MAGA cunts
  18. Some people must just lead miserable lives
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