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NeverMarryAStripper

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by NeverMarryAStripper

  1. I think all of the cement is sitting in port waiting to be unloaded
  2. Year before my freshman year.
  3. Sister fuckers should fear god, and Texas fears Oklahoma will stop sucking and we’ll slide into the gulf
  4. I’m sure every team/institution is eagerly awaiting the chance to be the first to jump on that grenade
  5. I'm a little surprised they haven't just started having the band march into the stadium for halftime and back out afterward. That would give them a bunch more seats to sell.
  6. There aren’t any bathrooms in middle earth, so nobody does
  7. Seems rude to me
  8. Unless of course, you ever had a dna test done on your dog
  9. Yes, but to be fair I’m pretty sure that Great Britain doesn’t have any current plans to invade India, Hong Kong, or the U.S.
  10. I’m no weather scientist, but is seems rather stupid to have a hurricane map that labels Dallas and not Houston
  11. This is going to be like the Blockbuster late fee lawsuit. The lawyers are going to collect hundreds of millions and the plaintiffs will get a coupon for a free VHS rental
  12. That's fucking pathetic. The sheer effort at pulling the trigger would probably make both of them drop dead. I would have harassed the fuck out those morons.
  13. I saw my first Christmas decorations this week. Fuck that shit
  14. It was Sebastian’s 3rd birthday today (it seems like just yesterday that he was a tiny little pup) so I made some dog cupcakes and we went to the park and had a party with his friends. I think he’s still embarrassed about the hat.
  15. TexAgs already got the blinders on about their close game with BG. I thou8gh the SEC was too much of a grind for us though.
  16. I'd eat her too
  17. I'm guessing that most Americans couldn't come within a century of guessing the date of the Crimean War.
  18. I would suggest neither, but go for the mother/daughter sandwich
  19. Now she needs to send him something to wash them down with
  20. Wordle 1,188 2/6 🟨⬜⬜⬜🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩
  21. The last guy that had that seat walked away with over $100 million for not doing shit, so I would beg to differ with you.
  22. Would have been more fun to let her go in, let the air out of her tires, and leave a note on her windshield.
  23. That’s Hobson’s Choice, don’t get married.
  24. Three minutes, are you a porn star?
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