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NeverMarryAStripper

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by NeverMarryAStripper

  1. About half the time I forget to take my list with me, so I call my daughter to take a picture of it and send it to me
  2. My grocery list is, and always will be, a notepad that has a pen tied to it with a string and stuck to the refrigerator with a magnet
  3. Does all this mean that Tucker is now Kicker the Dicker?
  4. I can guarantee you that at some point in the game thread there will be posts calling for Sark to be fired and Arch to be slapped
  5. I don’t know, personally it seems like lately aggy is running this state
  6. Whatever you do, don't call Brian White
  7. I watched it a couple of nights ago with my daughter. We enjoyed it, and it spurred some questions from her. I laughed when they showed the meeting between the guy leading the violent splinter group and the preacher trying to talk him out of it by telling him that the violence wasn't necessary because, in ten years, they could change things by having people in the House of Representatives and the Senate.
  8. I don't know what any of that means, but I feel for you
  9. When the temperature drops to a certain level the brass bra shrinks, and the witch's tits fall out
  10. I just finished a reread of Dune and am still amazed at what an incredible book it is. It really hammered home to me how poorly the movies rendered it. I'm going to go ahead and work my way through a re read of the rest of the original books.
  11. Being able to walk and breathe at the same time makes one functionally smarter than the majority of Americans now, and the NFL ratings just prove that
  12. I think if you could target a man’s head with a line drive hit hard enough to kill him then you could probably make more money playing baseball than as a professional hitman
  13. Has trump commented on her tits yet?
  14. I liked season one of Night Agent. I have spent most of season 2 laughing at it. I’m too far in to quit now though, but I can’t see sitting through a 3rd season.
  15. Hamilton should ride in on a scooter
  16. Is thread what they meant wh n they said Nero fiddled while Rome burned?
  17. If I recall correctly the DG stood for danger girl.
  18. Fucking CenterPoint. Not only can they not maintain Houston's power grid, but apparently, nobody at the fucking company knows how to shut a fucking gate. For the third time in two months, they accessed my property without notice or permission and failed to shut the gate when they left. As a result, when I get home and let the dogs out I end up needing to round them up from the neighborhood. I have now put a fucking padlock on the gate.
  19. No matter how many they have, you can never find one open
  20. I’m sure the US has been very popular in Greenland ever since we irradiated North Star Bay with four thermonuclear weapons
  21. My daughter and I took Sebastian for a trail walk in Memorial Park yesterday. He thought it was great fun, but It wore both of us out.
  22. My final instructions request no memorial service, no obituary, and no funeral. I have directed that my corpse be cremated as cheaply as possible and my ashes be placed in a tree pod, like the one at thelivingurn.com, and planted in the field that contains the remains of every dog that has ever been my companion.
  23. Wouldn’t every African-American who was the descendant of slaves be a descendant of illegal aliens, and therefore be subject to having their citizenship revoked?
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