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NeverMarryAStripper

Certifiably Surly
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Everything posted by NeverMarryAStripper

  1. NeverMarryAStripper
    My penis from last night doesn’t agree
  2. NeverMarryAStripper
    He was probably just worried about being stranded on his desert isle
  3. NeverMarryAStripper
    Replacing your kids with immigrants sounds like a great way to get your yardwork done for free
  4. NeverMarryAStripper
    If that's the voice you're hearing when you wake up handcuffed to the bed then you have made some very poor life choices
  5. NeverMarryAStripper
    Don’t do it
  6. NeverMarryAStripper
    Warning! Don’t let me into your bank lobby Not responsible if I rob you
  7. NeverMarryAStripper
    And gambling losses
  8. NeverMarryAStripper
    Function not Disfunction.
  9. NeverMarryAStripper
    Burke's cousin is a regular at my dog park, and she gave me this. It's set in Houston in the 50s
  10. NeverMarryAStripper
    I’m going to go out on a limb and say that if you’re riding your bike on the streets of Houston neither it’s’ aerodynamics, your spandex unitard, nor your streamlined helmet are going to make a shit.
  11. NeverMarryAStripper
    Wait until you divorce her
  12. NeverMarryAStripper
    Looks like a couple of New Hampshire white snakes
  13. NeverMarryAStripper
    Was Louisiana even a state then, hadn’t we just bought it from France?
  14. NeverMarryAStripper
    I’m just hoping this doesn’t devolve into something ridiculous now
  15. NeverMarryAStripper
    To Wong Foo is a classic
  16. NeverMarryAStripper
  17. NeverMarryAStripper
  18. NeverMarryAStripper
    Why are we playing a Big 12 schedule if we’re in the SEC?
  19. NeverMarryAStripper
    If I had known that’s what she really looked like I’d have gone to the play with her
  20. NeverMarryAStripper
    The thing that I find most unbelievable about the whole story is that someone actually read her stupid book
  21. NeverMarryAStripper
    He looks there like he died three weeks ago
  22. NeverMarryAStripper
    I watched SNL a few weeks ago for the first time in many years and the first thing that I noticed was that it seemed like everyone was reading their lines off of cue cards. I found it to be very distracting
  23. NeverMarryAStripper
    Is it a blue shed?
  24. NeverMarryAStripper
    It isn't realistic because he made Trump's dick too big
  25. NeverMarryAStripper
    Fuck those airlines, then. I guess the WA rep sponsorship must have something to do with Boeing

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