I want inflight BJs and to fart febreeze, but that's not how the world works. It's a fair point about wanting to maximize your enjoyment and you have to do what works for you. If you think first class is equivalent to being on vacation, that's cool.
When traveling alone, I show up at the airport no more than an hour before the flight departs. I like to get to the gate and walk onto the plane or as close to that as possible. When I used to fly a lot, I had my local airport down and would frequently be one of the last to walk onto the plane. You sit, door shuts, and the plane pushes back from the gate, you just cut 40mins off your flight time. I'd rather miss one flight every 5 years or so than to spend hours sitting around waiting for (or on) a flight. The wife will not tolerate playing airport chicken.
Also best money you can spend is on global entry, IMHO
You know how to make a small fortune in the airline business?