Budkudzu

Soulmate: Look at that plane up there! Where do you think it's going? Me: To an airport. Soulmate: Asshole.

Soul Mate: Go run down to the basement and bring up the step stool. Me: (sprints to the basement) Soul Mate: Asshole

Soul Mate: I've turned the thermostat down to 68 Bud: Why? Soul Mate: It's going to be real hot today and I want to make sure the house stays cool Bud: Just keep it where it's set and the AC will just turn on more often, but it will stay just as cool any other day Soul Mate: You don't understand. It's going to be real hot today

Little survey here - 52 open Chrome tabs on her cellphone this morn. What's the most you've seen on your soul mate's phone?

I'm just trying to get my soul mate to close the fucking windows when the AC kicks in.

Yep, the two metal boxes in the laundry closet must match. Maybe I'll get a Maytag sticker and put it on the current dryer.

I had a business trip from hell this week (stolen wallet, lost luggage, flight delays, useless meetings, etc). Mrs. K calls yesterday while I'm cooling my heels in the airport to tell me that piece of shit Samsung washing machine she overpaid for less than 2 years ago is busted and the repair guy said it would cost more to fix than replace. No surprise, so I agree we needed to buy a new one. I get home and see an order for a new washer AND drier. I ask what was wrong with the drier. She says they have to match. FML

You deserve a medal

debris - Dee-bris I also thought "soup du jour" was some sort of French soup.

Purses? We're talking about fucking purses? I had to check to make sure I hadn't logged in to the Surly cross dressing thread.

Reminds me of Mrs K's recycling efforts

She's done that, too.

Last night, Mrs. K once again demonstrated her lack understanding of how a thermostat works: She: It's going to be in the 20's tonight. I'm going to turn up the thermostat Me: It's not going to get any colder in the house than any other night because we always have it set at 63 She: But it's going to be in the 20's tonight. I don't want the house to get cold. Gotta pick your battles, boys.

Several years ago, I come home and see that the ex bought Dr. Phil's Diet book Me: "Is he also coming out with a hair restoration book?" She: "Asshole" Another time I came home and she said ,"Oprah said our marriage is in trouble." Me: "I wish you had told me she was coming over. I'd like to have met her" She: "Asshole"