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mr. sunshine

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Everything posted by mr. sunshine

  1. I get up at 5 a lot because that coincides with me and our dogs needing to take a huge piss
  2. For some reason I took a first date to see this. I took the news that I wasn’t getting laid afterwards like a champ
  3. I think he’s saying that you could chew on anything in that picture and feel pretty well satisfied
  4. I don’t think just slapping on a little Hai Karate would do it justice. For Ms. Leon I’d consider a bull elk gland transplant
  5. Good. Since I’m drinking all this alcohol I’d like to put it toward something
  6. Before these commercials I didn’t know middle aged losers who wear eye shadow and stupid hats were anyone’s target demographic to shill cologne to. Finally there’s a scent for me
  7. If some milk, tea, whiskey or other liquid gets spilled on the table and it’s flowing towards your iPad the only way to save it is a Bounty paper towel. Because just picking up and moving the iPad until you can find something to wipe up the spill is apparently not a fucking option
  8. Hey I like square toes. Not everyone is born with the the feet of a girl/young lady
  9. Yeah it’s weird as fuck. Also fuck facebook. In the face
  10. Oregon hiring Kelly just seems so aggy and Jimbo
  11. At this point I think most surlies bang holograms
  12. Joke’s on you, TTUDad2012. We imploded years ago
  13. Very nice. Personally I get my eggs over easy so I can mix the yolk in with everything else but ain’t nitpicking
  14. After over a decade of wandering the desert yeah I’m sure yours are like beach balls
  15. I tried to fuck to The Fireman once (no homo) but gotdamn that upbeat tempo. Plus the fiddle solo. Couldn’t keep up
  16. Still would pound with the ferocity of Thor’s angry hammer
  17. Yeah I don’t see the defense backs, linebackers, etc. just itching to light his ass up for a check swing either. Maybe the catcher make an unkind remark
  18. Well he is the landed aristocracy. A veritable country gentleman if you will
  19. Steel Shank making his own wiener sandwich must mean Bunco night for Mrs. Steel Shank
  20. I’m glad Photo Tech was pre-digital
  21. Alright. Cut the shit okay? You were 17 years old. If a cactus touched your penis you would have been thrilled
  22. Shiv’s titty and booty show. Gotdamn
  23. The pioneer of jukers. Aunt Esther should have tackled his ass
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