Scott Galloway did a most excellent podcast that basically hit every single one of those points. I think this is it and still a great listen.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/failing-young-men-with-richard-reeves/id1498802610?i=1000584062413
You mentioned that young men need to get their shit together and I'd like to expand on that. There doesn't seem to much ambition with younger men to get girls. When we were "utes," literally everything I did was to get laid/get a girl. Look better, get a car, go to college, make money, etc. Every single one of those had girls as a component as to the why. Even college wasn't so much about throwing leg in college. It was about making more money as an adult, knowing I'd have more options with women.
I see it a lot and I honestly have more in common with young women now. They want the same things out of life I wanted at that age. The boys barely want to even drive.
I do think porn is a problem and lord knows I'm not a sexual conservative. I think the amount and type of porn these young men consumer completely ruins their ability to relate to women. (Neg away, porn fiends.)