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El Moco

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Everything posted by El Moco

  1. El Moco
    A decade ended by Roll Left.
  2. El Moco
    Sonic Onion Rings and their Sausage, Egg and Cheese Breakfast Toaster Sandwich, Jack In The Box Loaded Breakfast Sandwich, Torchy’s Tacos Hillbilly Queso, McDonald’s Sausage, Egg and Cheese McGriddle, Whataburger Patty Melt, Sam’s Club Nathan’s Hotdogs, Pollo Loco The Original Pollo Bowl, Jack In The Box Ultimate Cheeseburger, Subway Steak, Eggwhites and Cheese Breakfast Sandwich, Dairy Queen Peanut Buster Parfait, James Coney Island Sanoran Hotdog.
  3. El Moco
    Yes Sir!
  4. El Moco
    Army Brat of Thujone.
  5. El Moco
    I love ABBA.
  6. El Moco
    I got your fat one right here.
  7. El Moco
    My wife was just discussing an incident at her work where a girl had to be restrained and was telling me “she was as big as y” and caught herself. I said go ahead and say it. I know what you were going to say. She tells me I didn’t want to say as big as you and hurt your feelings. Bitch!
  8. El Moco
    Williams was healthy for the bowl and choose to sit out.
  9. El Moco
    I still believe in Santa Claus.
  10. El Moco
    I didn’t mean all of them. There were two three who thought they were first round talent, especially Connor Williams. The way I see it, you screw the university and it’s fans when you choose to sit out the bowl game because you don’t want something to happen before the draft. It’s football! It’s always possible and if your gonna be a pussy about it, then don’t play the fucking sport. I know some feel differently, but that’s my angle.
  11. El Moco
    Is it wrong that I don’t feel bad for our players that didn’t get drafted in the first round who also decided to commit early to the draft and not play in the bowl game?
  12. El Moco
    I also believe in aliens from outer space.
  13. El Moco
    I believe the Texas Longhorns will win another college football national championship and another College World Series and I believe it will happen in my lifetime. I also believe I work with one of the most beautiful pieces of ass that I’ve ever seen on a female and I believe that I will never have carnal knowledge of her asshole.
  14. El Moco
    Every time I start hearing Sarah McLachlin singing and they start showing abused or neglected animals, it gets really dusty in my house. Damn it!
  15. El Moco
    I don’t like super hot coffee either. One burn and I can’t taste a thing the rest of the day. I put enough creamer in my coffee to take the temp down just enough where it’s still hot, but not scorching. I can easily sip it without burning myself. My parents were polar opposites. My dad would put an ice cube in his hot coffee and my mom would serve herself a cup from the coffee maker and then put it in the microwave for 30 seconds. I used to tell her it was no longer coffee, but lava now.
  16. El Moco
    I’ve suffered from ASC for many, many years and I lived in silence and shame. But, now I’ve come to terms with my condition and am taking back my life and coming out of the facilities with pride. Yes! Yes, America! When the clock strikes midnight and my bowels are moved to point of explosion, I let it all out. And when I’m done, I proudly accept my After Shit Chill. #AFCProud
  17. El Moco
    My wife is always getting on my case about me farting, and without a gall bladder, they’re pretty bad. She keeps on me to go to the bathroom if I have to fart. So, I went to the bathroom when one came up and she started to bitch at me because she walked in on it. Go figure.
  18. El Moco
    I got into watching this show Long Lost Family about people searching for their biological parents or children they gave up for adoption. As a father to a son we adopted as an infant, I know this day will eventually come up in my own life and....well, every damn episode causes a water leakage from my eyes.
  19. El Moco

    Mattress Firm - Why

    El Moco replied to Neonmoon's topic in Lulz

    Your should see the ABC stores in Honolulu.
  20. El Moco
    Might be a good idea. She just turned 44.
  21. El Moco
    Are you still a great big fat person? If so that likely makes it difficult for her to want to have sex with you. I’m not fat, I’m pleasantly plump. She’s not a size 4 anymore either. It’s more like, she’s tired all the time. Sex or not.
  22. El Moco
    Me last night lying in bed with a rock hard diamond cutter when the wife comes out of the bathroom and sees me waiting. Goes back in and proceeds to take 15 minutes peeing and brushing her teeth. Then, she comes out, gets into bed and rolls over away from me. I give up the chase and go to bed. This morning, wife says I know you wanted to make love last night, but I was very tired. Maybe we can do it tonight. Me, what makes you think I'll even be in the mood. You ration the pussy so much I've got used to going without anything except excuses. I expect a date night with Manuela might be in store.
  23. El Moco
    Did the statue have a bag of dicks next to it?
  24. El Moco
    Nice che-chees.
  25. El Moco
    Charles Nelson Riley.

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