BBQ2Bayou

So you were in a way reinforced by professionals that you could drink normally even though you knew you were an alcoholic, or you were still on that proverbial fence that we've all experienced of "I'm sure I can just have a few, let me try that just one more time"? I have considered that digging too deep might not be completely beneficial and could backfire like it did with you, but I'm just in that place right now. I might be different than you were at that time, in that I am certain that I can't drink normally ever again. I know exactly what will happen if I attempt that. It took me, and you, and probably every one of us with this addiction many tries to come to that realization, but I am there, which is good. I also, again probably like most of us, have a tendency to go all in on things, so maybe I need to pump the brakes for a bit and let the happiness come to me, rather than seeking it out. Because I am very happy right now without the booze. Happier than I have been since I can remember. So something is clicking and going right and I do know and appreciate what you and Reagan say about treading carefully on that. I'm also just a year into this, so I need to temper the desire to get back all the wasted years right away. Those are gone. Can't do anything but move ahead and cherish the time that's left and not worry about the time that's gone.

Ya know, it has been a while.....

Jesus christ

This post and your other post interest me, because I'm at a point now where my mind is starting to want go to the deep reason I'm an alcoholic. The kind of where, why and how thing. Starting to think back to how I was as a kid and tendencies toward certain behavior. I'm not sure it's something I can try to figure out on my own or if I should set up an appointment with a therapist type and really explore and dive into it. I think everyone could find some good in talking to a professional and I've thought for a long time that I should. Maybe it's just all the new clarity and curiousity that has come from sobriety and really wanting to get to know myself. Sounds dumb when I type it out, but it's there. That's why you talking about life managebility from the start piqued my interest because it's what I'm mulling over lately. Who knows. Next week I'll probably wanna take up water aerobics or some shit.

I'm working through that thread. I like immediate gratification. I plan on trying them all. Especially since this pre-order thing is a minimum of 5 pounds. That's a weekend eating commitment for a loner like me.

Down 25 pounds since Feb. doing keto. I could use some good restaurant recommendations that are good for low carb in North Austin if anybody has some. Anderson Ln. and Burnet specifically, but anywhere in the general area. Went by P Terry's and was happy to see that they do a good lettuce wrapped burger. They must use a half a head of lettuce on the thing. Also saw on a different thread here that Dos Batos does a cheese tortilla taco. Need to try that.

How's the wait these days? I just moved back after 5 years. It's probably buried somewhere in the BBQ thread, but that sumbitch is long.

So does Potbelly, and those are a staple in my pantry. Maybe won't appease the Chicago regulars or natives, but they're damn good and you can grab a box of 6 jars at the drive thru and be good to go for a while.

Don't Stop The Carnival. One of my favorite books. Probably top 3.

Anderson Ln. and Burnet. I didn't go the meeting route and still haven't been to one. Not because I have a problem with the program, I just didn't think I would gain anything by it. I realize that sounds a little short-sighted and arrogant, but really the only way I have ever accomplished anything is to do it on my own. I'm hard headed and stubborn I guess and I have always done things the hard way, but it's who I am. That said, I'm not at all opposed to going to meetings if it comes to that. I know people say, and have seen it on this thread on Shaggy, that you can't succeed without AA or some sort of program. I didn't believe that when I was drinking and I don't believe it now. I think they are great programs that have saved countless lives, so don't take that I'm too good for it. It's probably that I'm too stupid and stubborn for it, more than likely. And I don't at all consider myself on safe ground. I'm well aware that I'm just a baby in this fight and just getting started. I don't mind being around people drinking at all, but it would also be cool to hang out with some sober folks in Austin that do non-drinking stuff, if you all do any of that outside of the meetings. And thank you for the offer. This thread has been a lot of help to me and I'm sure a lot of other folks who have never said a word. It's nice to have.

So I moved over to Baton Rouge from the Austin area over 4 years ago for a job. The job didn't turn out and I don't like the city at all. I've stayed basically because I'm an alcoholic. I'm single with no kids to support, so I can always scrape by. I just needed my booze and somewhere to sit. I wanted to get the fuck out of here, but there was enough work to buy booze and provide a place for me to sit with my booze. All problems solved. Some health issues came up and a decision had to be made because it was literally life or death. I wasn't ready to die. I didn't know what to expect. I was scared shitless. Didn't really have a support system and I hadn't been without drinking since I was a kid. I shared my story about the first few months a while back, so I won't. But it was awful at first. For months. Slowly things started getting better and I got stronger, physically and emotionally. It was such a weird place to be. I didn't know how I was going to react to anything. Big or small. And I still don't, but my confidence and self-worth are higher than they have ever been. I don't mean I think I'm the shit, I mean I'm just at peace with myself for the first time, maybe ever. Every morning is great and it lasts until the next one. Tiny things make me smile out of nowhere. Sad things make some salty discharge build up in my eyes. I'm finally filling up my emotional being with emotions instead of using the bottle to steer around that part of me and leaving me empty and numb. It's liberating and exciting and scary and fucking great. I decided I'm ready to get out of here and back to Austin. I got a call for an interview earlier this week, so I drove over on Sunday, interviewed Monday, thought it went really well, looked at some apartments and filled out the paperwork for one that I really wanted. Headed back to Baton Rouge, got approved for the condo I really wanted and now it's Friday and I have all my stuff packed up, ready to put in a trailer and start fresh again. My lease just happened to start today, May 10th. My one year of sobriety is today, May 10th.

Sneaky Pete season 3 dropped today, FYI.

Haha. You fuckin cretins

I have this Blur. Cuz of Charlie Sheen. It's tiger striped, ya see

199.4 this morning. Been trying to get under 200 since Feb. Started at 215-220. Dipped below once and then I went on vacation. I didn't cheat on food, but I got out of exercising for a couple weeks and put 6 or 7 pounds back on that I've been working off the past month. Still want to get down to 180, but if I can get to 185, I'll be very happy. One thing about keto, I will say, it is sustainable. At least for me. I haven't cheated in 12 weeks as far as food goes and I fully planned on cheating at least once or twice a month. I just haven't had too much urge and when I do, it goes away pretty fast. I also feel really good, so I haven't wanted that to change. I think exercise goes a lot further too on keto. When I started getting back into it, just walking even, the weight started coming back off slowly. Obvious, I know, saying exercise helps, but it's more noticeable now than anytime in the past and easier to lose weight. Part of it I think, is that it has evened out my glucose where it's usually in the 80's now and not spiking at all, that I've noticed. I think I had probably slipped into being insulin resistant for a while, so losing weight was very difficult. Anyway, how ever you're doing it, keep on keepin' on.

You guys that know Central, North/Central Austin, how big of differences are there in the varying neighborhoods? I'm probably moving back there soon and this is the area I am going to live, but when I was in Austin before I didn't live in that area or spend too much time there. Commute isn't a factor, as long as I'm in the Hyde Park, Allandale, Crestview, North Loop, etc. I'm renting, so it's not a long term thing. Domain doesn't appeal to me. Initially I thought Hyde Park, but it seems I can get a little more if I go just north to those areas. I'm 42, single guy, no kids and don't care about nightlife much anymore. Just like the older neighborhoods and character in that area. Walkability is kind of why I was thinking about Hyde Park, but I don't know if I really will walk down to the coffee shop that much anyway. And is less space for the money really worth it to live there? I'm just not sure if those areas are divided up at all by families, young professionals, grad students, artsy folk, hipsters etc. Or if it's just all kind of the same but a little different in their own way.

? That girl got busted driving it. I was asking about shipping it.

Good watch? I'm looking. I'm always looking. I need a life.

What's the risk level of going to a legal state and shipping back oils or edibles vs. driving or flying with it? Asking for me.

How do you document the PM work you've done to be accepted? I've done PM work for the past 15 years, in title and practice, and wouldn't have a clue what to show for that. I've been thinking about taking it too, but I heard it's hard as hell. You make it sound like it's not. But maybe tests are your thing. They're not mine.

So I've been walking on the Mississippi levee here in Baton Rouge and I guess it's city maintained, but privately owned? Not really sure, but I know it's kind of a heated topic with some private owners and people that use the path for walking/biking. I don't really give a fuck, I'm not hunting or fishing or messing with their stuff anyway. But there's a section with a bunch of cattle out there between the river and the road. That particular area has a cattle grate on the levee path and a fence between the road and river, keeping the cows in there. The city has a sign there that says no motorized vehicles, which they have all over the levee. Easy enough, and then the land owner has a couple signs that say private property on each side of the path. Anyway, like I said, fuck the property owner because I'm not messing with their shit or land and a lot of people use the levee like any other hike and bike trail and it's put out there as an attraction by the city, for an otherwise horrible fucking city. But I digress on that. My question is, because I haven't seen anybody else on that part of the levee yet and I've never been around a big, brooding cow; are they gonna get territorial and trample me to death? Or are they just the dumb, happy and harmless creatures that they appear to be?

Agreed. Funny as shit. A child or a curious puppy that's rotten as hell but you still have to laugh at.

Yeah, I'm glad for this thread. I never would have watched it but I blew through season one and dig it. Really good shit.