BBQ2Bayou

I'm liking Sex Education, too. Some good shit. You (the show), I wasn't crazy about, but finished it. Not bad, just had a hard time keeping my focus.

I've put on 25 pounds since I quit drinking 3000 calories a day in booze. Go figure. Funny thing is, I didn't realize it for a while because I was laid up for weeks just wearing athletic shorts with elastic and my face got skinnier than it's been since high school. Then after I recovered from a couple months of hell from detoxing and a severe case of shingles where I couldn't walk, I had to put on some big boy pants to start getting out. Those fuckers didn't even come close to fitting. I'm still 25 pounds over where I want to be and it seems like it's harder then ever to shed pounds no matter what I try. I don't know if my metabolism and body is just royally fucked up from all the years of alcohol abuse and then all of a sudden there's none. I hope I can start getting it to come off, but being at a weight I'm not happy with is better than being in a life I'm not happy with.

I've heard the horror stories. I don't throw down whole bags of sugar free jellie bellies or anything. I'm sure a flavored water or something is probably better, but I haven't really looked all that closely into the healthier way to curb the sugar cravings. I'll deal with that shit when I'm more comfortable with not drinking and have had some more time under my belt.

Finished this up and thought it was really good. But what the fuck was the video game type shit of his practice break out?

My sugar cravings have subsided some, but they're still really strong and I was never a sweets guy either. The sugar free jolly ranchers are my go to. Werthers do the trick, too. I also chew on a lot of sugar free, fruity tasting gum.

Well shit. That sucks for me. I don't like Dennis Quaid one little bit.

Anybody have any experience with camping in Louisiana or neighboring states? I'm in the Baton Rouge area and I'm thinking an easy 4 hours any direction is fine for a few days, just don't know where to go. I think that would give me a lot of options, but I don't have any experience with searching for these places and all the front page searches show a bunch, but don't seem to be all that helpful. I'd like to just do 3 or 4 days, easy camping not too far from wherever I can get my vehicle, but I don't want to be in the RV, family campground type places. Just walking and maybe some fishing during the day, kind of just screwing off with no purpose, other then finding some cool spots for future camps also.

I'm sure this is normal, as I know drinking is terrible for people with anxiety issues, but has anyone that has stopped for an extended amount of time noticed significant changes in their anxiety, for the better? The older I got, the more intense my fear of heights became. To the point where I could barely watch someone on TV that was inside a conference room in a tall building. Just being able to see through that window, through my TV from my couch made me really uncomfortable and jumpy. I don't have any of those feelings any more. I was up on a rooftop hotel not long ago and I didn't have any sort of fear looking out and down. To the point where I'm actually thinking about skydiving sometime soon. I'm not sure what else I've noticed as far as anxiety is concerned, but I'm sure there are things that aren't bothering me as much, but they just aren't as pronounced to notice them. I'd be interested to hear what others have noticed with their own anxiety. 247 days.

I couldn't help but laugh my ass off at the end of whatever episode when Dirty Dancing is on TV and Baby is having her heart to heart with her dad and Ray is in deep reflection about his own daughter. I watch shows for fun and don't critique them, but that just caught me off guard in how bad it was. But still, Ray's a bad motherfucker and I dig it.

Fuck. You did everything you could. I hope that fuckers car caught fire.

First no hangover new year day for me in probably 25 years and I didn't even like going out nye when I was drinking, but I sure did love watching all the stuff on TV by myself with a bottle. It's amazing how many little excuses we can come up with to get drunk and that was always a great one and then as life mattered less from going through it drunk, there was no need for excuses, but you still try to use them with yourself for no sensible reason. Time to hit 2019 full speed and feeling good.

I wrote about some early tests. Funeral, wedding, getting stress being around family, etc. Made it through all that without a problem, then go have Xmas brunch with all my family at an assisted living place that does a buffet thing. One the end of each buffet table is a big pour container of OJ, I get a cup and take a big gulp, it's a fucking mimosa. Unmarked container next to the breakfast buffet for any kid or adult to self serve. I thought maybe it was non alcoholic sparkling wine or something because who leaves that shit out like that without a sign or employee serving it. Just took a couple minutes until I got the sweats and got irritable because my body and brain thought we were back open for business. But just that little bit of discomfort and no urge to sneak away to the store for a bottle. So a small win I guess. Maybe a big one, I dunno. But I'm not going to reset my tracker because of it and consider today day 235 alcohol free. Hope you all had and are having a great holiday.

That's a helluva story. Are you doing this alone or in a program? I'm doing it alone, living with my buddy who is an alcoholic and always has booze in the house, in a city that I don't like and don't know anybody and don't have a job that's worth a fuck and don't care about at all. I'm not being dramatic and I'm half laughing at why I'm doing it the way that is the worst way possible to most recovering addicts, but I'm hard headed and don't think anybody can help me besides myself. I'm not at all against or above the programs and think they are great and have saved innumerable lives, I just think it wouldn't help me. I know most people will say this line is way too thin to stay up on, but I really think it's the only way for me. I have opened up to friends about and I'm not at all ashamed of being an alcoholic. I used to think that word was for the weak, but after years I've realized it truly is a disease. As far as moving out of my place and to a different city entirely, which is what I need, I've taken to heart what you and others here have said about taking at least a year before making any life changes like that. I don't post much, but I have read this thread here and on shaggy every day and it really has helped reading what everyone here has gone through and how they have handled it. There are some strong, and caring people in this little cove of assholes that I appreciate. Opening up really does help, and I've made my stubborn ass try harder in that regard and it's a lot easier when you realize you have a disease and it's just that. I still won't say I'm proud of myself so far because I blame myself for letting it go so far, but I'm working on giving myself a small pat on the back from time to time. So thanks for everyone in this thread. It's helped me and I'm sure other people who post or lurk and I will go check out a meeting if I start to feel helpless, which I have a feeling is inevitable at some point. You all have a great time with family, friends, whoever these holidays and I'm going to keep fighting the good fight along side of you surly fuckers.

I'm 41 and have been an alcoholic since my first drink at 12 or 13. I knew it and never really had the denial stage. All my friends knew it, but they were all heavy drinkers in high school, college and then into their early 20's, where most of them cut back to normal people drinkers. Probably 25% of us who were true alcoholics didn't and most stopped and started going to meetings because they knew and accepted what they are. I knew it about myself but didn't care. I, like you, was the fun guy at the party, until I got into my 30s and became completely reclusive and wanted to be at my house alone, with a bottle of jameson and a pack of cigarettes. That is what I loved. Every night. That is what I thought I loved, but I was in denial about that being my happy place. I was miserable and hated people. I would go weeks without seeing people besides giving someone money at the liquor store checkout. That is what I became after being a social person all my life. I didn't have friends besides the ones I grew up with, but I didn't live in the same state as any of them or any family and that was partly by alcoholic design even though I didn't acknowledge that part of the equation. Around 30 I started getting regular, routine check ups at the doctor and lied to him about my drinking. My liver counts were bad and an ultrasound showed I had fatty liver. I knew what it was and what it was from and I didn't care. I had a bottle waiting for me at home, so fucking hurry up doc, I gotta get out of here. This all continued for ten years with a couple half-assed efforts of stopping. So this past summer I fell a couple times and couldn't get up. I couldn't get out of bed for 3 days even to make it to the bathroom, so you can imagine what that looked like. Just 3 bottles of whiskey and covered in my own waste. My buddy, who is also an alcoholic found me and called an ambulance. I was straight with the ER people about everything. They did all the tests and I had a good idea what was coming next. It was full on cirrhosis. So there it was and I knew I was killing myself and I wasn't suicidal, I just couldn't and didn't want to stop. But I deep down knew my life would be so much better if I did because I wasn't myself and hadn't been in 15 years. My 7 year old niece told me she had never seen me smile and that crushed me. So oddly enough, when they told me I had an irreversible liver disease that would most likely kill me, I wasn't scared, I was strangely relieved because I knew that was the only thing that would make me stop and stopping was the only thing that would make me happy. So today is 228 days without a drink and I'm a different person. Completely different. I'm happy and energetic all the time. I don't get irritated with everything and everyone. It's almost like living in a happy, zen type place that I never knew was in my makeup. I love every minute of it and it's also terrifying. Terrifying because I know I'm still in the honeymoon phase with this and terrifying because I'm learning who I am as a person. It's the first time in my adult life that I haven't been looking for a drink and planning when I would be able to get to my alone time with my bottle. Every experience is different now because of that and I have no idea how I'm going to react to every situation, big or small, because I'm getting to know myself all over again. It is scarey as hell and exciting as hell. It's truly a new life. 4 months after I stopped, one of my best friends dropped dead of a heart attack at 41. I went up to Chicago to bury him. I didn't have any idea how I would handle it. My friends are all from my childhood and we are really, really tight, so it helped having them there. We all went to a bar after the funeral and it wasn't hard for me at all to not drink, but when I left and was alone again, I got a pretty strong urge. A month ago another very close friend of mine got married out in California, so this time the whole crew would be back together for a fun occasion. That wasn't hard for me either and I was very worried it would be. But some of us alcoholics didn't drink and the non alcoholics got drunk because it was one of those occasions for it. And every single one of them told me how proud they were of me and brought me diet cokes. So now I'm at my parents for the holidays and they really stress me out, but every day and every experience, I gain more confidence and a little less worry about picking up the bottle. Bottom line, if I drink I will die, and I want to take this ride as long as I can. Just 228 days ago, I didn't care. Now I'm all smiles for my niece and everyone else.

Watched 4 episodes last night and like it. A little too much reenactment, but that's hard to get around sometimes.

This Hamilton ends up being $307 total with code PICKUPSALE. https://www.ebay.com/itm/Hamilton-Khaki-Field-King-Automatic-Silver-Dial-Mens-Watch-H64455523-/183514925603 Good deal and good looking watch.

Picked up this little pre owned Tag for $350 because I liked the look and swapped out the stainless for the leather band. I can't decide if it's too small. It's either 37 or 38 MM and I think 40 is probably my sweet spot. I have fairly small wrists and don't like big flashy watches, but I'm torn on the size of this one. Whatchu fellas think?

Agree on Patriot S2. Great. I really wish they'd make a season 3 of Alpha House. I kept hearing rumors about maybe. That show killed me.

Don't know much about coolers, but this just popped up on my email. Seems like a good deal. https://www.homedepot.com/p/Coleman-70-Qt-Xtreme-Chest-Cooler-3000002011/304233938?irgwc=1&cm_mmc=afl-ir-10451-456723-&clickid=3QI0K2SZ5T2JwkvTt2ScWTbbUkgUgPWdr2cTQU0

I'm with ya. 20 bucks? Fuck it. It'll be fun to watch.

I don't need to be reading this thread today. Fuck

Finished it up last night. Really enjoyed it. I'm not good at giving reviews, but I'd call it smart funny and worth watching. Good acting, as you'd expect.

In case you get homesick....

Couldn't find this discussed anywhere. I haven't worn a suit in a year or so and just realized my dress belt got lost somehow and I have a wedding coming up. I ordered this, but didn't realize it was going to be a little more matte than I thought, if that's the right word. Question is, is the sheen too off from the shoes? That's kinda my thinking plus that contrast stitching comes off as a lot less formal to me. I may have just answered my own question typing it out, but still would like thoughts. Easy enough to get something else, but I kinda like the belt. Damn that's big. Sorry, not sure how to resize.

Read a lot of the Netflix posts on Shaggy, but not all so it was probably mentioned, but damn Spotless is a good series on netflix. Just came across it scrolling through recently and thought I'd give it a shot. It's great. Also agree with the above mentioned show Episodes. Under the radar and funny as hell.