Top Ten Changes
I'll Make in the
White House
(as read by George W. Bush)
From the home office in Crawford, Texas...
10. To save taxpayers dollars, calls to winning sports teams will be collect.
9. New rules in cabinet meetings: You can't talk till you ride the mechanical bull.
8. Goodbye, boring presidential radio address. Hello, "Dick Cheney spins the hits of the 80s, 90s and today."
7. Make sure White House library has lots of books with big print and pictures.
6. Just for fun, issue executive order commanding my brother Jeb to wash my car.
5. First day in office, my mother's face goes up on Mount Rushmore.
4. Look into hiring a security guard for our nuclear secrets.
3. Won't get sick on Japanese leaders like other President Bush I know.
2. Give Oval Office one heck of a scrubbing.
1. Tax relief for all Americans, except smart aleck talk-show hosts.