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Well, it’s been a long run and it ended the only way it could have- with the only big 12 team to have scoreboard on us. They suck. We should rectify that. By a lot. We either win by 31 or by 3, but either way, we are lots better than them. Someone on here said something about a month ago and I thought about it and decided- they are right. Basically, Texas just needs one team ahead of them to lose. And there were like 23 events that could happen. 23 team parleys never come through. So, I started betting money lines every week on the following teams in a parley: Georgia, FsU, Ohio State, Michigan, Oregon, Washington and Bama. Right now I’ve won 3 weeks in a row. Thats like 19 events in a row. We are down to 4 bets we can make for my emotional hedge- a 4 teammer with Washington, FSU, Michigan and Georgia. If those 4 all win we will be something like 23 out of 23 in events, any one of which happening, could have probably put Texas in the CFP or at least made it arguable that we should be in. So, fuck you Florda for taking your shot and missing. Thanks for not returning the great favor we did for you in 1996. Double fuck you Oregon state- you had a chance to take down 2 of those guys. And you Penn Stste. You should be embarrassed to consider yourselves a helmet school after you let Michigan literally run all over you. Kiffin and Tennessee, yall are both frauds, couldn’t even keep Georgia interested. Whatever. It looks for all the world like we are going to go 12-1 in the first year ever that we have 4 “better” conference champs and the last year ever for only 4 playoff teams. On some level that will be hard to accept, but hopeful that the team goes out there, kicks ass and wins by half a hundred again and gives us the best chance to win the stupid beauty pageant and go ahead of Oregon or Bama if one or both of them win. Or, we could all root for a shitty Iowa team that couldn’t score if locked in a whorehouse or a Louisville team that couldn’t beat an also ran Mark Stoops team. Fuck you tech- how my ass taste? Fuck you Yormark, hope you liked being clowned on our Jumbotron. We coming for you Gundy, one last game to have collective scoreboard forever (conference champs) and individual scoreboard forever on every team in this shit ass conference, forever. Game Week fellas, news, notes etc here.

Well, This is the irate 8 team I have the least problem with. We’ve had good Cyclone posters over here forever. They are good people. Wide right Natty light is a national treasure. Do they suck? Yeah- pretty much historically. But they pretty much know their place and go along to get along. I like the fact that they waxed OU’s Ass multiple times the last half dozen years. Don’t like the fact they did it to me. Even though their women aren’t all that hot they sure do find some hot ones on tv. Cue redhead eating muff signal gif and that absurdly hot cheerleader from 5 years ago. I mean- I will have very little fond memories of anything associated with playing ISU but good luck or something I guess? Or fire your dipshit 5 star culture coach. Whatever. Doesn’t matter- let’s just not fuck this one up on our way out the door.

Well, we just finished up most of a wildly successful year. We went into Bama and buttfucked them to the tune of a 10 point win when we had the ball for the last 8 minutes and clowned them when they couldn't stop us on the ground after we threw all over their ass when they thought they could cover us straight up. Would have been 17 points if we wanted it to be. Could have been 28 if we didn't drop 2 TD's and an interception. Then, we literally laid waste to the big 12. We now have scoreboard on every single team left in that shit ass conference and we got to boo Yormark off the stage while ironically chanting SEC SEC SEC at those fucking left behind dipshits. I'm going to pretend, for the sake of happiness that the last 78 seconds of the OU game didn't happen. Lets agree to never speak of that again. Basically, what it boils down to is Texas is pretty likely the best team in the country, we have a great offensive mind for a head coach that's awesome when he gets plenty of time to prepare, a loaded roster and the best team we've had in 15 years (this team is better than 09) while being headed into an SEC that we are going to skullfuck. But first, we lay waste to Washington on January 1, 2024 in the Sugar Bowl, before going ahead and likely taking care of Bama in Reliant Stadium in Houston. Game week notes and threads and thoughts and the like go here. Hook Em high like an eagle soars!

So, here it is. We are trying to land this plane with one engine on fire, the landing gear light not working and maybe the pilot thinking about how much he needs his next drink. This would be pretty dire but for one fact- we are playing TCU. When I was at UT from 1996-1999 the saying used to be- TCU, where the girls are girls and the guys are too. Relax zoomers, nobody really meant anything hateful by it- it was different time and place. I think, though, that was probably about the only time I ever heard anyone say anything about TCU. And why not? They were totally and completely irrelevant and unimportant to us in every way. A quick throw away tagline of mockery once in a blue moon. Then something important changed. They joined the big 12, beat us a couple times and became a hated rival. Just kidding, no. They are still a total and complete irrelevancy that nobody ever bothers thinking about outside of “wonder when they are going to announce the fucking gametime” and wonder when some asshole is going to post the pictures of all the ridiculously hot ass running around that campus in Fort Worth that I will mentally file away into my spank bank. Not because I have those thoughts personally of course, but I know @Brisketexan does. Yeah. It’s definitely him that thinks about TCU in that second way. One more game (hopefully) that we have to grit through with a slightly less than desirable QB situation and a slightly less than desirable OL health situation, and a slightly less than desirable RB health situation and missing our best safety and and and. This team is beat up. It’s a good thing TCU sort of sucks (I guess - again back to my point about irrelevancy) this year and even with that mash unit we should be able to beat them. So TCU, in summation, I will muster up, even if just barely, enough care to tell you to fuck off and I will be glad when you don’t even occupy 1 week of mindshare for me.

Welp, here we go, the team to me that epitomizes all that was ever right (and wrong) about the big 12 as a conference. The Kansas Stare Wildcats. They play out in the middle of nowhere. Nobody, nationally, has ever given a shit about them, and nobody ever will. Their mascot looks so second rate that most high schools in Texas would be embarrassed to trot it out. Because of their status as a basically grown up junior college in the sticks, Bill Synder made hay recruiting actual functionally illiterate mercenaries doing hard time in the plains, and brought them to Kansas State to terrorize campus, the entire concept of higher education, and opposing schools. They have had runs of high quality where they were national contenders. They have hired really good coaches a couple times that made them a tough out. Somehow, Ron Prince ran their program into the dirt and they still beat us a couple times. For a while they were our only conference mate to have an all time winning record against us which was galling, but now that we’ve beaten them 6 times in a row we probably own the overall series record, though I can’t be bothered enough to go and look it up. I will, like 98% of college football fans, never spend another second thinking about KState or watching anything associated with them after we separate from their glorified JUCO ass, but congrats to them on becoming almost relevant a couple different times nationally during the Big 12 era, I guess. Now take the loss to make 7 in a row and fuck right off Also- RIP fatty fat fat. Hope you are enjoying that great juco in the sky man.

5-0 bitches. First time since 2009. we’ve been using these posts to mock and ridicule the losers we are leaving behind and basically tell them how much they suck. We can’t give OU that treatment because they have grafted themselves onto us and moved in lockstep with us because that’s where their bread is buttered. We keep them around, I suppose, for the same reason every girl has a fat friend- to look better by comparison. They suck. They have always sucked. They always will suck. It is known. But this year- they are a fraud and a paper tiger. I can’t tell you how enjoyable it will be to sodomize them with a red hot fire poker (dipped and fried at the fair naturally) and watch their men and children cry and their women strike the surrender cobra pose, over and over, as the game gets worse and worse. We win by 3 scores. This is probably only the 4th best team we will play this regular season. Enjoy hate week for those of you who are simple and not good at life. I never take a day off from hating OU.

Honestly, I’d love to make a bunch of jokes about sister wives and yada yada yada, but I am just emotionally empty from some personal stuff and the Texas football team, even out off a bye, looks too banged up to play well, while our worst fear about the staff seems to be coming true. grim. I will say this about BYU: we have posters on this website from all universities all over the country. And, I think we genuinely like most of those posters. They are good people and bring awesome stuff to this board. Except BYU. Those guys all suck and are cunts. Game week stuff goes here. Let’s not lose to a bunch of old white guys.

We are giving big middle fingers to the hateful 8, the losers left behind on our get the hell out of here tour, and the next two weeks are weird- because instead of playing insignificant pissants from irrelevant places we’ve shared this dumpster fire of a conference with for 25 or so years, we are playing even more insignificant pissants that joined up because this was the best that they could do. We share some history with UH. We were incredibly happy to get the hell out of playing in a conference with them when we left the SWC, and they get to take a putative step up because we are leaving. Basically, UH sucks. I mean, occasionally they will have his football teams but it’s a second rate institution of questionable higher learning, in the ghetto, where everyone commutes to school and then heads back to their parents basement when the school day is over. They are petty and absurd dipshits who once built an erector set when their pissant stadium couldn’t accommodate more than 13 people wanting to watch a game there. Once upon a time they had groundbreaking teams, now they merely have an active lush for a coach, a shitty roster, and nothing compelling or interesting about them. guys, I’d like to spit fire here and mock and riddle them but it’s not even fun to punch that far down when you are talking about the try hard from the wrong side of the tracks that’s just a total mess. I hadn’t thought about Uh football in 30 years and I’m not about to start now. I’m choosing to treat this mentally as an insignificant non conference game against a crappy opponent and go from there.

Well, here it is, the final edition of the scheduled regular season tour where we shove it up the asses of the irate 8 who got left behind Texas currently has scoreboard on every single team in the conference (that’s staying here) other than Texas Tech and Oklahoma State. We get the chance to avenge last years loss on the way out the door and leave this series exactly where it belongs for all time, with us wiping our shit smeared dick on their face after we finish fucking them up the ass. The last couple weeks I’ve had a hard time working up any animosity toward TCU and Iowa State because they are so irrelevant to us, who we are as a program and college football in general. Tech, however, has earned a lifetime of hatred and scorn from me. They blew our chance to win the big 12 in Ricky’s senior season, then another chance in 2002, and finally wrecked our national championship dreams in 2008. We cannot go out like bitches and let them screw up important stuff on our agenda. All those scenarios happened in Lubbock and most of them when Tech had a better team than they do this year. We always take care of them in Austin when we have the slightest bit of an inclination to play hard and focused. I’d say we have more than that going on in our favor this week. Tech is a second rate program in a third rate town with a loudmouth high school coach with a low IQ and a propensity for drunk driving. So, sure, he’d fit in around here just fine, I guess, but let’s go ahead and monkey stomp them and then never have to see, hear, play or think of them again. Y’all were cool when you had Mike Leach and then fucked that up in the dumbest way possible only to go back to your historical norm of being uninterested, uninspiring and unsurprisingly mediocre. Game Week notes here fellas. Hook ‘Em High like an Eagle soars and have a happy thanksgiving.

I hope Texas fans show up because X will be there in full force since it’s their only sport. Welcome X fans!

Fall camp is over and game week has begun. Texas kicks off what I expect to be the best season in more than a decade with expectations of winning a conference title for the first time since 2009. 2009 was also the last time texas was predicted to win the conference, so, maybe we got that going for us, which would be nice. Rice game thoughts, news, etc go here. I’m bummed that the MOB won’t be coming to DKR but everything else is really exciting about this week. I’ve got Texas 56, Rice 3 texas is a 35.5 point favorite and the over under is 59.5. At our book we just put down Texas and the under and the odds were +510. So glad football is back in our lives.

Well, I was super excited to go to the game as our fearless leader @immamacgot a bunch of tickets for surlyites who are interested in going to the game. Big ups to you man- let me know how you want your money and how we are doing ticket exchange! It will be my first trip to an SEC venue (I’ve been to all the SWC and Big 12 schools, plus Stanford and Cal) and playing the Gumps when they are down, early in the season where they are breaking in a new QB who can’t throw 1/2 the routes in the route tree, seemed a particularly auspicious time for me to start visiting this new and different collection of dipshits and morons we’ve aligned ourselves with. All summer long I was convinced this texas offense was gonna be awesome. I was disabused of that notion by 3:20 PM on 9/2. What a bummer of a performance that was. The defense is excellent. The special teams are special I think, in the good way, and the Bama offense looks pretty mid. Maybe we can win a 13-10 rock fight. In other news the big 12, and especially the Texas members of the big 12, covered themselves in total and complete shit yesterday with tech, Baylor and TCU all losing to double digit dogs and UH squeaking out a 3 point win over UTSA. Reap what you sow dickheads. Game week is scary. See y’all in Tuscaloosa

After an uneven (to be kind) performance against the Wyoming Cowboys (Maybe better than we thought) and a non conference schedule that finished 3-0 for the first time since Anthony Hill was 6, the Longhorns get to the part we’ve been waiting for intently for 3 years. We are about to haul ass from this meth infested, mobile home park located in a desolate, plain-scape wasteland, and take our retarded sister fucking step-cousins with us, to a nicer, southern (and Missouri) hicks from the sticks made good bedroom community. before we go there’s some goodbyes that need to be said and smooth buttfuckings that need to be handed out. Baylor, I can’t say I will miss your cat (and basketball player) killing, rape enabling faux Baptist culture. Take your toilet bowl on the river with its seats covered every time texas isn’t in town and shove them up your fucking asses. 100 years of playing you was 99 too many. I won’t miss a thing about that dump you call a city nor your fake pious $70,000 private school 13th grade. You get the privilege of being the first road kill in the 2023 Texas “Embrace The Hate” decimation of this shit hole you call home. BOHICA bitches and fuck off. Game thoughts and articles and stuff here.

In this farewell to big 12 plains trash season I have managed to maintain a hate boner toward pretty much all the schools we are leaving behind. There are good reasons to loathe all of them as a Texas fan more or less, with one exception: Kansas. Kansas has never done anything (football) to draw my ire. We are something like eleventy hundred and 2 against them, and the couple wins they’ve got have been blessings in disguise for our program. They got Charlie Strong fired a year before I expected us to be able to fire him going into that game. Thanks for that. They beat us to send us to 5-7 in Sarks first year and I think that not going to a bowl and focusing on that offseason was helpful and clarifying for Sark. In 2004 the fat man got a little lippy and it set up one of my all time favorite memories- the utter destruction and decimation Vy laid on them when we beat an above average team like a drum- up something like 49 or 52-3 at halftime. Just one of the all time dominant performances I’ve ever seen from Texas against a team that wasn’t a paycheck game. So, Kansas I will give you the Tex treatment- good bye and good luck. y’all have my permission to dominate this collection of spares and rejects when we head on out of here. I also really like watching Kansas play. They are legitimately very good on offense. They are not good on defense. Whenever you watch a Kansas game it seems like at least 4 or 5 times you will see a receiver (could be either teams) running across the middle without a defender within view of the TV screen. It’s great and fun. We need to bring our A game. This feels like the most likely game we could lose left on the schedule if we sleepwalk through it and bad stuff happens, due to the quality offense they have. Game Week starts now. Hook ‘Em.

So, probably the last game of the regular season. 7-4. All 4 losses by 1 score. All 4 winnable games. All 4 lost. 2 road wins in a row, 1 in dominating fashion. A beat down of OU. The defense improving a lot week to week. The offense getting worse. But better at some stuff. This season (and the off-season leading up to it) is one of the most indecisive, frustrating, hopeful, hopeless and confounding seasons in recent memory. Is this a step forward in the right direction? Dead cat bounce? The start of something special with what we are seeing with Texas One and proof of concept with NIL? Sound and fury signifying nothing? I have no idea. Beating Baylor probably won’t answer it for me one way or another, but if it’s all the same to y’all I think it’s appropriate for the opponent/institution that we give them a no lube at all, nonconsensual assfucking. happy, safe and wonderful Thanksgiving to all on here. Game Week commentary as always goes here.

Welp, Alabama was gutting. We had those fuckers just like the Colt McCoy game. Ewers going down while playing so well was incredibly cruel, and apparently the only way that second rate institution of mediocre learning can beat Texas. I really look forward to us going to the SEC, beating them up and taking their lunch money, and turning them into Alabraska. Your day of reckoning is coming Gumps. Now, onto our first attempt to not let the Bama game beat us twice, as the great Mack Brown used to say. Let’s hope and pray for clean imaging for Quinn, his quick return to health, and a 13-1 season.

So, Kansas State Week oddly enough we couldn’t buy a win against these yokels when we were good, and now that we’ve been circling the drain for a decade plus we’ve stopped having problems with them. At any rate- it’s a road game and we are terrible at those, which is awesome, because our season is hanging by a thread. I don’t have a ton of confidence after seeing pretty shitty football for the last 2 games but perhaps the bye week will be helpful. Post all your game week news, thought and information here. I will have another thread for predictions and free money giveaway elsewhere.

What a joyful week this is to be a longhorn fan. What we just did to OU is illegal in 38 states. They’ve lost 3 in a row and are staring at 4-8. I fully expect them to be a dog to a Kansas team that doesn’t even have their starting QB ready to go. aggy has lost their last 2 and goes into their bye at 3-3. They just played Bama with Bama starting a shitty 3nd string QB, the woefully inept BOB calling plays, were absolutely gifted a shitload of TO’s, watched Bama miss two chippies and still they managed to do what aggy does and cocktease their fan base before ultimately failing to win. It’s a long turdition for those jokers in dysfunction junction. But, most importantly we are seeing what it looks like when an elite play caller in Sark (1A or 1B to Lincoln Riley) has a serviceable OL to go along with future day 1 draft picks at LT, TE, RB, WR and most importantly QB. Do you realize we haven’t had a first round draft pick on offense since VY went #3 overall in 2006? Yeah- that’s about to change and in a big way. We saw it for a quarter against Bama, who was absolutely shredded by the mulleted one before he got broken in half. Now- we saw it against our biggest rival, who had no answers for what was coming and decided to open up a can of quit and run clock from the beginning of the second quarter on. if you want to feel joy about the defense I’m not going to stop you. The guys on the headsets are still on probation in my mind, and unlike the Offense that has day 1 draft picks everywhere I don’t see a ton of talent. Except maybe on the interior DL- which is really playing pretty good football. We shut out OU. That was awesome. They are awful offensively. Like I said- I’m not going to steal anyones joy that wants to be excited about the defense but I still see no more than good as their ceiling/upside whereas that’s the absolute basement for a Quinn Ewers led offense. Next up? Corn aggy. I have no hate for ISU. They are my second or third favorite team in the conference alongside Gundy at OSU. But we owe them a smooth buttfucking. They’ve been chirping about 5 star culture while we’ve been down. We aren’t down on offense anymore. It’s time that we reminded them what 5 star talent really looks like. They haven’t seen that at Texas in 15 years. They’ve forgotten. It’s cute they think they have a pretty good little defense. If measured up against their farming peers at Iowa and KSU I guess they can put the clamps on inept offenses. We aren’t their farming peers. We won’t be stopped. I anticipate (if we stay healthy) a minimum of 42 points. I don’t think they can score 42 points if you gave them a month. They are garbage on offense. We should win this game really really easily. Lets shuck the corn, enjoy another afternoon/evening of watching games after we’ve put our hay in the barn, and then get ready to roll into stoolwater for the top big 12 match up of the year. Game Week thread people- let’s Hook ‘Em high like an Eagle soars and enjoy the most satisfying in-season win in 5 years, and hopefully one that will portend great things for us going forward.

Get well soon Quinn, you are our only hope.

So, this is what a road victory looks like? Huh. Doesn’t seem like it should be that hard. Glad it happened. In the part of the season now where I don’t really care how it looks, just care if we win or lose. This TCU game is pretty important, and strangely, maybe not really all that important? If Texas gets through the season at 7-2 it’s a guarantee that we go to the big 12 title game and it’s pretty much a guarantee that we play TCU. But, if we lose this one and win out from there (beating KU and Baylor) we will be 6-3 with the tie breaker on everyone else we would be at 6-3 at with the exception of Ok State. So- if KSU loses at Baylor this week (which would be expected I would think) and Ok State loses any of their last 3 games (also I’d expect that- home ISU, @OU, home WVU) we’d be going to the big 12 title game to play TCU. It’s super important for other reasons though. Win this and we get to crush the hopes and dreams of TCU, which is mean but fun. We get a win over a top 5 team. We get to 7 wins on the year with 3 or 4 games left to play from there where coach will have a chance to get past 7 win Steve. We move into the top 15 I’d think, keep recruiting momentum going, set a floor on the drain where many people said would be our season, and should give confidence going into the last 2 games that we’ve turned it around and gotten through the worst of the rebuild in all likelihood. I’m not going to fly a mission accomplished flag or anything, but it keeps all the reasonable goals for the team in play and earns the right to start thinking about some pretty cool stuff after a decade of eating shit. So, this is a pretty pretty pretty big week. game week thoughts, news and notes etc go here.

There was a lot I really liked about the game last night. Lots and lots of positive stuff. I have been extremely bullish on our chances for the season. Game day is coming to town- that’s always fun. Feels exciting to see the energy in the program right now. I’m afraid it isn’t going to be particularly close fellas. Convince me I’m wrong. Or just lie to me. I will have another thread with last weeks winners, and a total scoreboard, plus post of the week. predictions for game and contest will go there. Hook ‘Em high like an eagle soars as Bill in Sinton would say, but I don’t think we would need his lecture on focusness this week. They shall have 100% of ours I am sure.

@Scipioand myself are proud to be the official mortgage sponsor of Surly. We have done free money giveaways for the NCAA tournament, playoff baseball, and now have added a football component to the free cash giveaway. Here is how this giveaway will work: Every week we will have a post asking for your game prediction, giving you a prop bet, and a chance to weigh in on anything related to the game, opponent or game week. $50.00 to the winner of the game score contest. (Winner and score for the week) $25.00 to the winner of the prop bet (Will change every week) $25.00 to the post of the week (funniest story, best trash talk, best analysis on what ended up happening during the game, or post that best captures the Surly Zeitgeist of the week) I'm the judge of all the winners. My tie breakers for the score contest and/or prop bet contest will be whoever I thought had the best overall post. We will have a sticky on the top of the board honoring those who won throughout the season that will get updated throughout the season with the winners and the best content. The overall winner of the most weekly cash for the year will win an additional $250.00, two tickets to the Burnt Endz dinner, and eternal bragging rights. Anyone not wanting to claim their money can donate it to the wreath fund or Burnt Endz. All money will be paid at the end of the season. As with all our giveaways it's the same- free to enter- no purchase necessary, we hope this will be fun. If you would like to support us as we try to support the community we would love to help you with any mortgage need you might have. Feel free to PM me or call me at 832-557-1095 if you have a mortgage question or need. We've helped a lot of Longhorns with their home loans as it's a community we truly love. The prop bet for the week is how many total yards from scrimmage will Bijan Robinson have- rushing and receiving?

OU is bad. We should be good and we should be building toward really freaking good if Ewers is back and isn’t banged up. OU comes into this game well and truly hurt, and should be missing their starting QB on top of all that. One of my big regrets in life was the 2005 VY team only beating those toothless sister fuckers by a mere score of 45-12 or whatever it was. We had them down and reeling and should have put up the old 66-13 or the like. Maybe this year Sark can do that and begin to atone for some of the buttfuckery we’ve had to deal with at the Fair throughout the years. That’s what I hope happens anyone. I will take a 1 point win and be happy, as always, in this game. Give ‘Em Hell, Give ‘Em Hell, OU Sucks. Here is your official gameweek thread.

Time to rub some salt in their wounds after they lost in 2OT to TCU and dropped like the Challenger mission in the rankings. Operation: Bounceback from the Horns is a go.

Fresh off the biggest win in the program since beating Georgia in the Sugar Bowl, Texas plays host to Wyoming. The Horns come in ranked #4 in the country. Wyoming is 2-0 with a win over Tech. That’s probably enough to get a Big 12 invite nowadays. Look to see if Texas can continue to play to a standard that they set against Alabama. Looking forward to it- post your game week thoughts here.