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5-0 bitches. First time since 2009. we’ve been using these posts to mock and ridicule the losers we are leaving behind and basically tell them how much they suck. We can’t give OU that treatment because they have grafted themselves onto us and moved in lockstep with us because that’s where their bread is buttered. We keep them around, I suppose, for the same reason every girl has a fat friend- to look better by comparison. They suck. They have always sucked. They always will suck. It is known. But this year- they are a fraud and a paper tiger. I can’t tell you how enjoyable it will be to sodomize them with a red hot fire poker (dipped and fried at the fair naturally) and watch their men and children cry and their women strike the surrender cobra pose, over and over, as the game gets worse and worse. We win by 3 scores. This is probably only the 4th best team we will play this regular season. Enjoy hate week for those of you who are simple and not good at life. I never take a day off from hating OU.

Over/under 62.5 Vegas thinks this will be a... well, we can't say that anymore, I guess

Sooners want Revenge! But Horns only give them pain! Hook'em once again!

Let's get this party started.

And he's listening to Creed while he does it.

Prop bet- total yards from scrimmage for Worthy and Bijan combined Texas- 55 OU- 10 Worthy + Bijan- 250 combined yards. The stars show up for Texas as each guy goes over 100. Bonus- tell your best/worst/funniest story about the Texas OU week. I once got hit in the neck with a pool cue at the starlight lounge, after watching us lose 66-13, after having a flat tire on my truck, breaking my jack, having to spend 3 hours using a screw driver to operate the jack while surrounded by (and helped by) homeless people. After all that happened I woke up, drove back to law school, got all the way to the Oklahoma border before realizing I had forgotten my laptop in McKinney and had to turn around and go back and get it. This was likely one of the worst weekends of my life. I’m not doing justice to this story. I wrote it up on LFZ and it became a little famous for a while, but I’m banging away on my cell phone right now waiting to board a cruise ship so I’m sort of half ass-ing it here. But y’all, y’all can definitely do better when you tell your stories. Or just make a prediction if you want.

OU is bad. We should be good and we should be building toward really freaking good if Ewers is back and isn’t banged up. OU comes into this game well and truly hurt, and should be missing their starting QB on top of all that. One of my big regrets in life was the 2005 VY team only beating those toothless sister fuckers by a mere score of 45-12 or whatever it was. We had them down and reeling and should have put up the old 66-13 or the like. Maybe this year Sark can do that and begin to atone for some of the buttfuckery we’ve had to deal with at the Fair throughout the years. That’s what I hope happens anyone. I will take a 1 point win and be happy, as always, in this game. Give ‘Em Hell, Give ‘Em Hell, OU Sucks. Here is your official gameweek thread.

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And drives below the speed limit, in the left lane, with his blinker on

i don't give a fuck that they gargle balls this year, i want them to fucking feel all the pain of an early era mack brown in the rrs beatdown. fuck them.

Over/under 60.5

At least their ancestors had the courtesy to steal the ugliest patch of land in North America, leaving all the places that don't look like a green parking lot for the rest of us to enjoy. And by consolidating most of the people God hates in one location, they've managed to suck most of the tornadoes there. So they've unintentionally made the rest of the country a little better by making oklahoma so god damned awful. Thanks, shitheads. Your turn. Say something nice about oklahoma.

Who’s in? @immamac will buy the first $10,000 worth of beer and food.

I Am Filled With Hate Think thoughts of sooner demise ou sucks forever

Much like Passover, Ramadan, or Lent - today (or yesterday - depending on how you practice) we begin a week of remembrance, spiritual connection, fellowship, and yes, of course - hate for the sister-fucking, meth-smoking, land-thieving denizens of the wide, flat, barren wasteland that is our unfortunate neighbor to the north - Oklahoma. Like any of the 50 states of our union there are perhaps some redeeming qualities about the state and its citizens. At the moment I cannot think of any, but it isn't an impossible suggestion. There may be a sandwich worth eating, a nice dog worth petting, a few coeds with most of their teeth worth doing - but I wouldn't know, as I make it a point to avoid ever setting foot north of the Red River (as any lifelong Texan should). However - there has never, ever, in the storied history of this perfect game that God so generously bestowed upon an imperfect world, been anything even remotely redeeming, conscionable, admirable or even tolerable about the football "program" at the University of Oklahoma. From their long line of felons, illiterates, turncoats and regrettable sci-fi creatures that have taken the field, to their morally detestable, inebriated dick-munchers calling the shots, they are a scourge on the game and infection that needs cleansing every year. Texas has for too long failed to cleanse the field in Dallas. Fortunately, this season's iteration of cockgobblers appears to be as incapable of playing competent football as their fans are from securing gainful employment. This needs to be made apparent on Saturday. Nay - it must be made apparent. To remind us that good things do happen, that there are battles worth fighting, and that not everything is fucked. Give em hell give em hell - you know the rest.

Fuck OU.

Texas v OU. The Red River Shootout. Good v evil. Class v none. Good breeding v inbreeding. Teeth privileged v toothless. 2 proud football programs. One world class institution of higher learning and one glorified community college that exists to service their football team. SEC nonsense aside, this is the game that means more. 12 schools (maybe 13?) officially consider Texas their main rival according to a poll I saw last year. Thankfully, with the move to the SEC we’ve gotten away from the majority of these no win games against second rate schools that represent nothing but potential downside. Texas considers itself to have 3 rivals, but they aren’t all created equally. Arkansas left 30 years ago and we put them on the schedule a handful of times and played them as a curiosity for the olds who wouldn’t stop blathering about royal and Broyals and Fayetnam and cousin loving and blah blah blah. Aggy left and we laughed at them when they lost eternal scoreboard, and decided never to play them again. OU though, OU is special. College football has gone through massive realignment where every school is out for themselves and 2 schools have stood out on deciding they are a package deal, Texas and OU. Both, by any metric top 8 or so programs. The richest and most envied program in America in Texas. Probably the second most accomplished (or 3rd behind Bama and maybe the Domers) in Oklahoma. We have owned them historically. They’ve probably out shined us a bit in the 21st century. But this is a series of runs. Schools rip off 4 in a row or 8 out of 10 and it serves as a spotlight for what the other school needs to do to get better. We’ve been on the bad side of that the last 15 years or so as we’ve wandered the desert. No more. This game is so important because generally the winner is national title quality. When you go on that run when you win 5 in a row or 8 out of 10 you are likely rolling and ready too dominate. Sark has 2 tasks left at Texas after acing most everything leading up to this- flip the script decisively in this series and win a national title. it says here that he will do both those things starting this year. Give em hell give em hell, OU sucks. its 8:19 in the morning and OU sucks. texas doesn’t fall into the gulf because OU sucks. hook em high like an eagle soars. Even dear old Bill in Sinton wouldn’t worry about anyone overlooking this game- it’s the one always circled in red ink.

Texas comes off a well timed bye week having regained the #1 ranking in the AP poll. Next up, a date with blowu in the Red River Shootout - this Saturday at 2:30pm.

Texas at the Top Oklahoma just loves dicks Bottom Feeder Scum

With Limp Bizkit blasting out the windows. And he circles the local high school every afternoon to honk at the underage girls.