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Well, it’s been a long run and it ended the only way it could have- with the only big 12 team to have scoreboard on us. They suck. We should rectify that. By a lot. We either win by 31 or by 3, but either way, we are lots better than them. Someone on here said something about a month ago and I thought about it and decided- they are right. Basically, Texas just needs one team ahead of them to lose. And there were like 23 events that could happen. 23 team parleys never come through. So, I started betting money lines every week on the following teams in a parley: Georgia, FsU, Ohio State, Michigan, Oregon, Washington and Bama. Right now I’ve won 3 weeks in a row. Thats like 19 events in a row. We are down to 4 bets we can make for my emotional hedge- a 4 teammer with Washington, FSU, Michigan and Georgia. If those 4 all win we will be something like 23 out of 23 in events, any one of which happening, could have probably put Texas in the CFP or at least made it arguable that we should be in. So, fuck you Florda for taking your shot and missing. Thanks for not returning the great favor we did for you in 1996. Double fuck you Oregon state- you had a chance to take down 2 of those guys. And you Penn Stste. You should be embarrassed to consider yourselves a helmet school after you let Michigan literally run all over you. Kiffin and Tennessee, yall are both frauds, couldn’t even keep Georgia interested. Whatever. It looks for all the world like we are going to go 12-1 in the first year ever that we have 4 “better” conference champs and the last year ever for only 4 playoff teams. On some level that will be hard to accept, but hopeful that the team goes out there, kicks ass and wins by half a hundred again and gives us the best chance to win the stupid beauty pageant and go ahead of Oregon or Bama if one or both of them win. Or, we could all root for a shitty Iowa team that couldn’t score if locked in a whorehouse or a Louisville team that couldn’t beat an also ran Mark Stoops team. Fuck you tech- how my ass taste? Fuck you Yormark, hope you liked being clowned on our Jumbotron. We coming for you Gundy, one last game to have collective scoreboard forever (conference champs) and individual scoreboard forever on every team in this shit ass conference, forever. Game Week fellas, news, notes etc here.

Well, This is the irate 8 team I have the least problem with. We’ve had good Cyclone posters over here forever. They are good people. Wide right Natty light is a national treasure. Do they suck? Yeah- pretty much historically. But they pretty much know their place and go along to get along. I like the fact that they waxed OU’s Ass multiple times the last half dozen years. Don’t like the fact they did it to me. Even though their women aren’t all that hot they sure do find some hot ones on tv. Cue redhead eating muff signal gif and that absurdly hot cheerleader from 5 years ago. I mean- I will have very little fond memories of anything associated with playing ISU but good luck or something I guess? Or fire your dipshit 5 star culture coach. Whatever. Doesn’t matter- let’s just not fuck this one up on our way out the door.

Welp, here we go, the team to me that epitomizes all that was ever right (and wrong) about the big 12 as a conference. The Kansas Stare Wildcats. They play out in the middle of nowhere. Nobody, nationally, has ever given a shit about them, and nobody ever will. Their mascot looks so second rate that most high schools in Texas would be embarrassed to trot it out. Because of their status as a basically grown up junior college in the sticks, Bill Synder made hay recruiting actual functionally illiterate mercenaries doing hard time in the plains, and brought them to Kansas State to terrorize campus, the entire concept of higher education, and opposing schools. They have had runs of high quality where they were national contenders. They have hired really good coaches a couple times that made them a tough out. Somehow, Ron Prince ran their program into the dirt and they still beat us a couple times. For a while they were our only conference mate to have an all time winning record against us which was galling, but now that we’ve beaten them 6 times in a row we probably own the overall series record, though I can’t be bothered enough to go and look it up. I will, like 98% of college football fans, never spend another second thinking about KState or watching anything associated with them after we separate from their glorified JUCO ass, but congrats to them on becoming almost relevant a couple different times nationally during the Big 12 era, I guess. Now take the loss to make 7 in a row and fuck right off Also- RIP fatty fat fat. Hope you are enjoying that great juco in the sky man.

5-0 bitches. First time since 2009. we’ve been using these posts to mock and ridicule the losers we are leaving behind and basically tell them how much they suck. We can’t give OU that treatment because they have grafted themselves onto us and moved in lockstep with us because that’s where their bread is buttered. We keep them around, I suppose, for the same reason every girl has a fat friend- to look better by comparison. They suck. They have always sucked. They always will suck. It is known. But this year- they are a fraud and a paper tiger. I can’t tell you how enjoyable it will be to sodomize them with a red hot fire poker (dipped and fried at the fair naturally) and watch their men and children cry and their women strike the surrender cobra pose, over and over, as the game gets worse and worse. We win by 3 scores. This is probably only the 4th best team we will play this regular season. Enjoy hate week for those of you who are simple and not good at life. I never take a day off from hating OU.

Honestly, I’d love to make a bunch of jokes about sister wives and yada yada yada, but I am just emotionally empty from some personal stuff and the Texas football team, even out off a bye, looks too banged up to play well, while our worst fear about the staff seems to be coming true. grim. I will say this about BYU: we have posters on this website from all universities all over the country. And, I think we genuinely like most of those posters. They are good people and bring awesome stuff to this board. Except BYU. Those guys all suck and are cunts. Game week stuff goes here. Let’s not lose to a bunch of old white guys.

We are giving big middle fingers to the hateful 8, the losers left behind on our get the hell out of here tour, and the next two weeks are weird- because instead of playing insignificant pissants from irrelevant places we’ve shared this dumpster fire of a conference with for 25 or so years, we are playing even more insignificant pissants that joined up because this was the best that they could do. We share some history with UH. We were incredibly happy to get the hell out of playing in a conference with them when we left the SWC, and they get to take a putative step up because we are leaving. Basically, UH sucks. I mean, occasionally they will have his football teams but it’s a second rate institution of questionable higher learning, in the ghetto, where everyone commutes to school and then heads back to their parents basement when the school day is over. They are petty and absurd dipshits who once built an erector set when their pissant stadium couldn’t accommodate more than 13 people wanting to watch a game there. Once upon a time they had groundbreaking teams, now they merely have an active lush for a coach, a shitty roster, and nothing compelling or interesting about them. guys, I’d like to spit fire here and mock and riddle them but it’s not even fun to punch that far down when you are talking about the try hard from the wrong side of the tracks that’s just a total mess. I hadn’t thought about Uh football in 30 years and I’m not about to start now. I’m choosing to treat this mentally as an insignificant non conference game against a crappy opponent and go from there.

Well, here it is, the final edition of the scheduled regular season tour where we shove it up the asses of the irate 8 who got left behind Texas currently has scoreboard on every single team in the conference (that’s staying here) other than Texas Tech and Oklahoma State. We get the chance to avenge last years loss on the way out the door and leave this series exactly where it belongs for all time, with us wiping our shit smeared dick on their face after we finish fucking them up the ass. The last couple weeks I’ve had a hard time working up any animosity toward TCU and Iowa State because they are so irrelevant to us, who we are as a program and college football in general. Tech, however, has earned a lifetime of hatred and scorn from me. They blew our chance to win the big 12 in Ricky’s senior season, then another chance in 2002, and finally wrecked our national championship dreams in 2008. We cannot go out like bitches and let them screw up important stuff on our agenda. All those scenarios happened in Lubbock and most of them when Tech had a better team than they do this year. We always take care of them in Austin when we have the slightest bit of an inclination to play hard and focused. I’d say we have more than that going on in our favor this week. Tech is a second rate program in a third rate town with a loudmouth high school coach with a low IQ and a propensity for drunk driving. So, sure, he’d fit in around here just fine, I guess, but let’s go ahead and monkey stomp them and then never have to see, hear, play or think of them again. Y’all were cool when you had Mike Leach and then fucked that up in the dumbest way possible only to go back to your historical norm of being uninterested, uninspiring and unsurprisingly mediocre. Game Week notes here fellas. Hook ‘Em High like an Eagle soars and have a happy thanksgiving.

Not sure what we will do, but we will do something cool for all the winners at the end of the year. Pick the game score for both teams and answer the bonus question for in case there are any ties. 1st week bonus question: how many yards will Quinn Ewers throw for Texas 56 Rice- 3 Ewers- 247 yards (pulled after we are up 42-3 half way through the 3rd quarter).

Fall camp is over and game week has begun. Texas kicks off what I expect to be the best season in more than a decade with expectations of winning a conference title for the first time since 2009. 2009 was also the last time texas was predicted to win the conference, so, maybe we got that going for us, which would be nice. Rice game thoughts, news, etc go here. I’m bummed that the MOB won’t be coming to DKR but everything else is really exciting about this week. I’ve got Texas 56, Rice 3 texas is a 35.5 point favorite and the over under is 59.5. At our book we just put down Texas and the under and the odds were +510. So glad football is back in our lives.

Well, I was super excited to go to the game as our fearless leader @immamacgot a bunch of tickets for surlyites who are interested in going to the game. Big ups to you man- let me know how you want your money and how we are doing ticket exchange! It will be my first trip to an SEC venue (I’ve been to all the SWC and Big 12 schools, plus Stanford and Cal) and playing the Gumps when they are down, early in the season where they are breaking in a new QB who can’t throw 1/2 the routes in the route tree, seemed a particularly auspicious time for me to start visiting this new and different collection of dipshits and morons we’ve aligned ourselves with. All summer long I was convinced this texas offense was gonna be awesome. I was disabused of that notion by 3:20 PM on 9/2. What a bummer of a performance that was. The defense is excellent. The special teams are special I think, in the good way, and the Bama offense looks pretty mid. Maybe we can win a 13-10 rock fight. In other news the big 12, and especially the Texas members of the big 12, covered themselves in total and complete shit yesterday with tech, Baylor and TCU all losing to double digit dogs and UH squeaking out a 3 point win over UTSA. Reap what you sow dickheads. Game week is scary. See y’all in Tuscaloosa

After an uneven (to be kind) performance against the Wyoming Cowboys (Maybe better than we thought) and a non conference schedule that finished 3-0 for the first time since Anthony Hill was 6, the Longhorns get to the part we’ve been waiting for intently for 3 years. We are about to haul ass from this meth infested, mobile home park located in a desolate, plain-scape wasteland, and take our retarded sister fucking step-cousins with us, to a nicer, southern (and Missouri) hicks from the sticks made good bedroom community. before we go there’s some goodbyes that need to be said and smooth buttfuckings that need to be handed out. Baylor, I can’t say I will miss your cat (and basketball player) killing, rape enabling faux Baptist culture. Take your toilet bowl on the river with its seats covered every time texas isn’t in town and shove them up your fucking asses. 100 years of playing you was 99 too many. I won’t miss a thing about that dump you call a city nor your fake pious $70,000 private school 13th grade. You get the privilege of being the first road kill in the 2023 Texas “Embrace The Hate” decimation of this shit hole you call home. BOHICA bitches and fuck off. Game thoughts and articles and stuff here.

In this farewell to big 12 plains trash season I have managed to maintain a hate boner toward pretty much all the schools we are leaving behind. There are good reasons to loathe all of them as a Texas fan more or less, with one exception: Kansas. Kansas has never done anything (football) to draw my ire. We are something like eleventy hundred and 2 against them, and the couple wins they’ve got have been blessings in disguise for our program. They got Charlie Strong fired a year before I expected us to be able to fire him going into that game. Thanks for that. They beat us to send us to 5-7 in Sarks first year and I think that not going to a bowl and focusing on that offseason was helpful and clarifying for Sark. In 2004 the fat man got a little lippy and it set up one of my all time favorite memories- the utter destruction and decimation Vy laid on them when we beat an above average team like a drum- up something like 49 or 52-3 at halftime. Just one of the all time dominant performances I’ve ever seen from Texas against a team that wasn’t a paycheck game. So, Kansas I will give you the Tex treatment- good bye and good luck. y’all have my permission to dominate this collection of spares and rejects when we head on out of here. I also really like watching Kansas play. They are legitimately very good on offense. They are not good on defense. Whenever you watch a Kansas game it seems like at least 4 or 5 times you will see a receiver (could be either teams) running across the middle without a defender within view of the TV screen. It’s great and fun. We need to bring our A game. This feels like the most likely game we could lose left on the schedule if we sleepwalk through it and bad stuff happens, due to the quality offense they have. Game Week starts now. Hook ‘Em.

I could waste a lot of words saying stuff about last week against UTSA, or this week against Texas Tech, but I’m going to instead keep it incredibly simple here: QB is important. Really important. if we had switched QB’s with SA before the game last night we’d have won by 50. If Quinn would have played we likely would have never trailed and that game would have looked like the classic VY teams going out and bludgeoning fools. If Quinn plays next week in Lubbock (and I suspect he’s going to) we win in a walk (yes I know Lubbock is scary blah blah blah). If Card plays it’s going to be a dog fight and we might start conference season with a loss to one of the 3 weakest teams in the conference. Be happy we have a stud QB for the next 3.5 years. Pray for their health. Because if Sark has his guy and keeps them upright this team is going to be a bitch to handle for the next decade or so. All Tech game Week stuff here. Please 8 pound 6 oz baby Jesus let Ewers play and then we just go stomp a Mudhole in their ass.

Welp, Alabama was gutting. We had those fuckers just like the Colt McCoy game. Ewers going down while playing so well was incredibly cruel, and apparently the only way that second rate institution of mediocre learning can beat Texas. I really look forward to us going to the SEC, beating them up and taking their lunch money, and turning them into Alabraska. Your day of reckoning is coming Gumps. Now, onto our first attempt to not let the Bama game beat us twice, as the great Mack Brown used to say. Let’s hope and pray for clean imaging for Quinn, his quick return to health, and a 13-1 season.

Prop- total rushing attempts for Texas- all players. Tiebreaker if rushing attempts are tied is total yards. Texas-45 Iowa State- 10 43-220.

Same rules as last week- $50.00 to the closest score, $25.00 to whoever wins the prop bet and $25.00 to the post of the week on the game thread already started. Threads are separated this week and going forward as we were just introducing the money give away last week. Prop Bet- total yardage for Ewers combined rushing and passing.

@Scipio and I are proud to be the official mortgage provider of Surly, and one of the main things we wanted to do in sponsorship with @immamac is try to do some stuff that makes the site more fun for everyone. So, we decided to do a free giveaway for free money based upon the weekly scores and the best of the game threads. $50.00 per week for the best score prediction $25.00 per week for the closest to the prop bet $25.00 per week for the best post on the game week thread. It could be funny, predictive, self loathing, or just all around best representation of the Surly zeitgeist. The winner of the most money for the season will win an additional $250.00 plus 2 tickets to the TE dinner this winter. All money will be paid out at the end of the year. Anyone not claiming the money or wishing to donate it will get sent to Burnt Endz, the fantastic crowd source deal that @immamacand @RGBIII have worked so hard to set up. As always, if you have any mortgage needs I would love to help you, or to be a second set of eyes and let you know if the deal you currently have working is the best you can do. Please feel free to PM me or call or text at 832-557-1095. Week 1 Recap: $50.00 winner- @pacman who nailed the score of the week at 52-10. @kingkoopa6 also nailed the exact score, but Pacman wins the tie breaker being closer to Bijan's total yards for scrimmage. Good job fellas. $25.00 winner for closest to the prop bet: @Wizlonwho predicted 114 yards of total offense for Bijan- who had 111. He missed out by 3 yards. I think the next closest missed out by 8 or 9 ( @40acredropout I believe). Recap of the gameweek thread: Most wrong post: @Rockethorn1978who said: Ahh the pre season kool aide is flowing! I’ll believe a 56-10 score when I see us actually dominate someone. I’m leaning more in the 49-28 camp because our defense. His punishment is to be water-boarded with Burnt Orange Kool Aid for the rest of the week- after mocking someone's 56-10 post that basically almost nailed the game score and being a doubter. Worst Tangent on the game week thread: @Codaxx setting up the 2 page derail with this one: Not if he is playing the slot, which is my point. I am against MOVING Bijan from RB to the Slot. Best post of the week (not eligible to win b/c the guy owns the site @immamac for this response to someone bitching about JT Sanders being named the starter: Sanders is the best TE and it's not particularly close. Helm is the 2nd best all around TE, but gets edged out by some of the experience and attributes of Billingsly. Juan Davis is the fastest, most dynamic TE and will be used in certain packages and looks. The 4 deep at TE is ridiculous, if not for our absolutely absurd RB room the TE room is one of the best, if not the best in the country. You should be very excited about this news. $25.00 winner for post of the week (this time for capturing the zeitgeist of Surly and scoring scores of likes... while also being correct @Newy25 with this gem after the ULM Cheerleaders were posted: No way we score under 50 to a school that does not even have one cheerleader that you can jerk off to. Texas 55 ULM 17

@Scipioand myself are proud to be the official mortgage sponsor of Surly. We have done free money giveaways for the NCAA tournament, playoff baseball, and now have added a football component to the free cash giveaway. Here is how this giveaway will work: Every week we will have a post asking for your game prediction, giving you a prop bet, and a chance to weigh in on anything related to the game, opponent or game week. $50.00 to the winner of the game score contest. (Winner and score for the week) $25.00 to the winner of the prop bet (Will change every week) $25.00 to the post of the week (funniest story, best trash talk, best analysis on what ended up happening during the game, or post that best captures the Surly Zeitgeist of the week) I'm the judge of all the winners. My tie breakers for the score contest and/or prop bet contest will be whoever I thought had the best overall post. We will have a sticky on the top of the board honoring those who won throughout the season that will get updated throughout the season with the winners and the best content. The overall winner of the most weekly cash for the year will win an additional $250.00, two tickets to the Burnt Endz dinner, and eternal bragging rights. Anyone not wanting to claim their money can donate it to the wreath fund or Burnt Endz. All money will be paid at the end of the season. As with all our giveaways it's the same- free to enter- no purchase necessary, we hope this will be fun. If you would like to support us as we try to support the community we would love to help you with any mortgage need you might have. Feel free to PM me or call me at 832-557-1095 if you have a mortgage question or need. We've helped a lot of Longhorns with their home loans as it's a community we truly love. The prop bet for the week is how many total yards from scrimmage will Bijan Robinson have- rushing and receiving?

Fresh off the biggest win in the program since beating Georgia in the Sugar Bowl, Texas plays host to Wyoming. The Horns come in ranked #4 in the country. Wyoming is 2-0 with a win over Tech. That’s probably enough to get a Big 12 invite nowadays. Look to see if Texas can continue to play to a standard that they set against Alabama. Looking forward to it- post your game week thoughts here.