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Fatball™

sushihorn

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sushihorn

sushihorn 3233

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note: The term Fatball was coined by another poster on Surly.  I cannot take credit for it but I can categorically state that it is awesome.

 

Fatball™ isn’t just about personnel.  It’s an entire philosophy of comprehensive reactionary incompetence on the offensive side of the LOS.  This philosophy is the dominant one in the SEC and very common in the B1G.

Heavy doses of unimmaginative rushing attacks are mixed with a steady diet of super-short passing – mostly hitches and screens.  Those passes are thrown in the hope rather than expectation that the athletes brought in by the bagmen can get a few extra yards and keep the drive alive.  This strategy can work fine when the practitioner has a large talent gap over opponents but bogs down against comparable talent.

The quintessential game of Fatball™ in 2018 was the UK-aggy game.  Neither team was able to complete a pass to a target more than 10 yards downfield.  The average completion was probably 2-3 yds past the LOS with a bunch of screens thrown behind the line.  As badly as both O-Lines played you can see why the QBs needed to get rid of the ball quickly.  They combined for 7 false starts, 10 sacks given up on 50 pass attempts (17% sack ratio) and 17 TFLs in only 125 offensive snaps.

This game was a slap fight in the special ed class.  The offenses hit “monkey humping a ball” levels of futility.  For two supposedly ranked teams it was an embarrassment.  UK punted TEN times.  Aggy only punted 5 times because they turned it over 3 times: once each on downs, a fumble and an INT.  The last score for each team highlighted the incompetence.  Mond tried to hit his WR on a quick slant and it bounced off his hands to the TE 5 yards upfield who then scored.  aggy tried to run the clock out with the lead but couldn’t hang on to the ball.  UK scoops and scores when their offense couldn’t move the ball at all.

 

But don’t worry there is plenty of Fat in this game of Fatball™ as well.  The aggy 5 guard cube OL is world famous.  The 2018 edition featured 325-315-315-323-315.  In a league filled with slow, space eating DL, aggy somehow managed to rank #102 nationally in sacks allowed and #100 in TFLs given up.  A lot of the credit has to go to their O-Line.  Kentucky started an OL weighing 316-315-310-320-305.  They were only moderately fat but made up for it with their lack of quickness and poor lateral movement.

The basic problem is that all of these teams in the SEC want an Offensive Line that LOOKS like Alabama’s.  In that they’ve succeeded.  But with the possible exception of Georgia, none of them have an O-Line that can PLAY like Bama’s.  Yes, they’re big and strong.  They’re also slow and often clumsy.  There are a strictly limited number of 320 lb HS linemen with good feet that can move well.  Alabama gets most of them in the SEC.  Georgia gets most of the rest.  The rest of the conference still wants that big OL and has to sacrifice athleticism to get him.  Fatball™ is the inevitable result.

Edited by sushihorn
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texifornia

texifornia 56565

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I've been waiting for this edition of Sunshine Analytics™! 

Legitimately excited to watch what happens with the wildly different line recruiting approaches of Herman (guys like Cosmi, Hookfin, Fillinger and Karic) versus Fisher (Raikes, Jefferson, Chibuzo, Clement) in terms of the guys they take after the obvious bluechips

giphy.gif

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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12639

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2 minutes ago, texifornia said:

@golfclap or @Walden Ponderer I think

I have no idea when I first used it, or whether I came up with it on my own or not. But I consider it to be very much like a blues lick -- even if you perfect it, you're still probably not as good as SRV, Albert Collins, or Buddy Guy. In this case, if it was mine, it doesn't matter. Sushihorn uses it best.

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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12639

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6 minutes ago, Butch Had Not said:

For comparison can you tell us the height and weights of our OL and two deep? 6'6" 320 is definitely different than 6'2" 320.

Only two outliers (Tyler and Imade) and, frankly, if you look at their pictures, that's not SEC weight they're carrying. Mostly, though, these guys are lean and quick, which is exactly what we want. I am very happy with McKnight and Hand in charge of our OL.

Cosmi -- 6'7" 300 lbs
Willie Tyler -- 6'7" 340 lbs
Zach Shackelford -- 6'4" 305 lbs
Hookfin -- 6'5" 305 lbs
Imade -- 6'6" 350 lbs
Kerstetter -- 6'5" 300 lbs
Christian Jones -- 6'6" 300 lbs
Tyler Johnson -- 6'6" 315 lbs
Parker Braun -- 6'3" 300 lbs
Ghirmai -- 6'5" 295 lbs
Angilau -- 6'6" 300 lbs
Reese Moore -- 6'7" 295 lbs
Javonne Shepherd -- 6'6" 315 lbs
Okafor -- 6'4" 310 lbs

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8789

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10 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Only two outliers (Tyler and Imade) and, frankly, if you look at their pictures, that's not SEC weight they're carrying. Mostly, though, these guys are lean and quick, which is exactly what we want. I am very happy with McKnight and Hand in charge of our OL.

Cosmi -- 6'7" 300 lbs
Willie Tyler -- 6'7" 340 lbs
Zach Shackelford -- 6'4" 305 lbs
Hookfin -- 6'5" 305 lbs
Imade -- 6'6" 350 lbs
Kerstetter -- 6'5" 300 lbs
Christian Jones -- 6'6" 300 lbs
Tyler Johnson -- 6'6" 315 lbs
Parker Braun -- 6'3" 300 lbs
Ghirmai -- 6'5" 295 lbs
Angilau -- 6'6" 300 lbs
Reese Moore -- 6'7" 295 lbs
Javonne Shepherd -- 6'6" 315 lbs
Okafor -- 6'4" 310 lbs

Sheesh, that's a lot of meat on the hoof.

Freakishly beastful.

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runthebone

runthebone 7933

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I love this article and share it every chance I get

https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/i-have-sir-mix-a-lots-old-phone-number/

 

This guy got Sir Mix-A-Lot’s old phone number — and now he gets his raunchy texts

By Nicole Brodeur  
 

Quote

The first text came not long after Jonathan Nichols got his new phone.

“Check this guy out,” it said, with a link to a YouTube video of a guy making beats out of a synthesizer.

It was good, Nichols thought, but couldn’t have been meant for him. He was a law student at Seattle University who had just switched to a local number to prepare for the job search ahead.

“That’s pretty cool,” Nichols, 33, texted back. “But you clearly have the wrong number.”

“I’d love to,” Nichols would tell the very polite salespeople. “But I think you have the wrong guy. I’m a broke law student.”

Then he started getting pictures of women in bikinis in various states of raunchy repose. So many that Nichols told the sender, “You need to stop.”

Finally came the day in August when Nichols was at a softball tournament and his phone started “blowing up off the hook.”

Photos of women with lips pursed. Texts that said “Love you,” and “Happy Birthday.” A photo of a bottle of “Big Bottom” whiskey. More women. More lips and kisses. And one telltale reference to the 1992 rap hit “Baby Got Back.”

No way, Nichols thought. After the tournament, he and his friends Googled Seattle hip-hop legend Sir Mix-A-Lot.

His real name? Anthony Ray.

His birthday? Aug. 12. That very day.

“That’s when it all made sense,” Nichols, 33, said one recent afternoon.

The phone number he had picked out at the Verizon store just because it was easy to remember had a previous owner no one could forget: Sir Mix-A-Lot, the man behind “Baby Got Back,” “Posse on Broadway” and founder of Rhyme Cartel Records.

“Are you serious?” Mix said when I called him — on his new number — to tell him about Nichols. “That is hilarious. Poor fella.”

He was down in Las Vegas at the International Consumer Electronics Show. A single guy with no kids in Vegas. Sounds fun.

“Ah, it’s a sausagefest,” he said, clearly disappointed.

What would he have told Nichols before the technological torch was passed?

“Don’t check any text messages in front of your wife,” Mix advised. “That would be the first thing. And don’t answer any texts by saying ‘Yes,’ because people take ‘Yes’ differently with me. And usually you end up opening your wallet.”

Like with the car dealerships.

“That’s why I’m telling him, ‘Don’t say yes.’ ”

Nichols, a public-interest attorney with Moriarty and Associates who lives in Magnolia, has been tracking his adventures in Mix-land on his Facebook page. Friends have suggested he start a blog with a sampling of the texts:

“Hi Ray (Minista) pls info if u attending freestyle explosion and locale details. Thanks in advance.”

Nichols didn’t respond, then got another text: “O.K. silence got it brush.”

Another: “What up bro this is SupaSam. I’m having a morning show in-studio Christmas party. I need you to come through!”

There have also been offers for free concert tickets and visits backstage, which Nichols has found tempting. Why not just show up at the appointed place at the appointed time and see what happens?

“My boyfriend tells me, ‘Yeah! Get tickets! Get backstage passes!’ But ‘no false representations’ is one of the rules of the bar.”

Nichols has saved only one voice message, from a woman with a New Jersey area code. He found it on his phone and handed it to me for a listen.

“This used to be Sir Mix-A-Lot,” a woman says with a smile in her voice. “You get someone calling you talking about they be Snoop Dogg, they really are. Lucky you.”

Nichols got the new number so he would be local when he started looking for a job.

But it turned out to be a secret weapon, a way to stand out and be cool by pure coincidence.

“When interviewers have asked me, ‘What’s something interesting that no one else knows?’ or when people I meet working political campaigns tell me about meeting Bill Clinton, I always say, ‘I have Sir Mix-A-Lot’s old phone number.’

“It’s a total mic drop.”

And one that comes with one very specific responsibility, according to the previous owner.

“Tell him any really sexy pictures — little in the middle, and if she’s got much back — give them the new number,” Mix said with a laugh, then paused.

“But not the car dealerships.”

 

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Walden Ponderer

Walden Ponderer 12639

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With the appearance of various cajun visitors to Surly as the season approaches, I say it'd be worth our time to give this thread the occasional bump.

Highly topical in reference to a @Cajun post on another thread, in fact, wherein he enumerated the varying degrees of suckitude the fatball league known as SEC! SEC! SEC! put on display during bowl season, where the only outliers were Florida, who frankly aren't as fat as the rest of their conference, and aggy, who were playing a mediocre opponent missing its biggest contributors.

So, anyway, welcome to our lardassed visitors. We'll feed you well as our team runs yours out of the stadium, so your trip won't be a total loss.

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sushihorn

sushihorn 3233

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Endurance is likely to be a major factor this week.  LSU has an enormous D Line with only moderate depth.  The NT position in particular is vulnerable to fatigue.  The starter is 350 lb Tyler Shelvin.  We all know that snap count is an issue for Coburn who is slightly smaller.  The #2 NT is even heavier, 360 lb true freshman Siaki Ika.  There doesn't appear to be much behind them.

The starting DEs are also quite large - both in the 310 lb range.  There are good, veteran backups at this position who are still around 300 lbs.  I expect a lot of perimeter passes to force these big bodies into long pursuits.  Texas doesn't huddle and does a good job of preventing substitutions during drives.  If the Horns can keep these guys on the field, they might have to alternate drives rather than plays and fatigue will set in quickly in the heat.

While Texas uses tempo selectively, LSU appears to be committed to (medium) tempo as their standard pace.  I suspect this is going to stress their defense greatly.  To test this hypothesis I looked at last year's results.  LSU's defense only had to play 70 snaps 5 times.  Once was SE La which was able to sustain some drives but didn't have to horses to do much beyond that.  The other 4 were La Tech, Florida, Bama and aggy.

aggy ran a total of 107 offensive plays, 78 of them in regulation.  Once the play count reached 70, the LSU D was never able to stop them.

Bama scored TDs on 2 of their last 3 drives, not counting killing the clock at the end.  Those 3 drives; 7 plays for 72 yds, 5-32 and 8-80.  They resulted in nearly as many points as the first 8 Bama drives.

Florida also scored 2 TDs late but one was defensive.  Their offense did mount a pair of 9 play drives, one resulting in the decisive TD late in the game.

La Tech did most of their damage in the 2nd half as well.  3 consecutive drives resulting in 191 yds on 29 plays for 2 TDs.  Their last 2 drives were snuffed out after one first down on each.  This game is a bit more ambiguous but also the one where LSU enjoyed the largest talent differential.

 

Last year LSU struggled on defense anytime the opponent ran 70 plays or more.  It looks like fatigue is a very real issue for them.  It is one that can easily be aggravated by running tempo on offense themselves.  It's part of the reason for the offenses dominating in the Big XII statistically.  Obviously this wasn't a problem against a bad, one dimensional Ga Southern offense.  Ten 3 and outs and 2 TOs are going to keep the defense well rested regardless of tempo used by their own offense. 

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GoldAppleCorps

GoldAppleCorps 617

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I felt bad for Coburn. Firing out of his stance into a double team over and over, only to have the QB take 3 steps and pass. He was effective, since LaTech quickly gave up running at all and just started winging it to the flats. Still, I imagine it takes a lot of mental fortitude, plus a healthy fear of your position coach, to keep up those reps.

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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11810

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On 7/28/2019 at 3:19 PM, sushihorn said:

Thanks.  Do you remember who coined the phrase?  It slipped my mind and I'd like to properly credit it.

Dear Sir,

It has come to the attention of my much esteemed client, Mr. @Vic Mackey, that you are improperly asserting a trademark to the term "fatball".  That specific term is dangerously close to my esteemed clients term of "Fatballing", which is currently pending registration at the US Patent and Trademark Office.  SInce both terms obviously involve slamming against large, stupid sweaty bodies repeatedly whether one or in multiples, the two terms could be confused in mutual commerce.  Therefore I demand that you cease and desist using the "TM" with your so-called term "Fatball".  The real term "Fatballing" refers to my clients brilliant strategy of targeting overweight or obese women, specifically for consummation. This practice can be undertaken as an individual or group activity, and often includes excessive alcohol consumption, emotional detachment, and degradation of the woman. Unlike "hogging", "sweat-hogging" or "whale watching",  with "Fatballing" sexual intercourse, and hopefully other deviant sexual activities are the end goal. 

Please contact me should you have concerns with this matter.

Yours truly,

Judge Roy Bean(bag), Esquire

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utee94

utee94 15746

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3 minutes ago, Huckleberry said:

Somewhat related and interesting to me was that LSU's OL was not getting any push on the Georgia Southern DL in their first game. They obviously were too athletic for GSU in the open field, but the GSU DL was holding the LOS and even pushing the LSU OL into the backfield on occasion.

Do you think it's because the LSU o-line is really fat?  

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Zavala

Zavala 1384

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56 minutes ago, sushihorn said:

Endurance is likely to be a major factor this week.  LSU has an enormous D Line with only moderate depth.  The NT position in particular is vulnerable to fatigue.  The starter is 350 lb Tyler Shelvin.  We all know that snap count is an issue for Coburn who is slightly smaller.  The #2 NT is even heavier, 360 lb true freshman Siaki Ika.  There doesn't appear to be much behind them.

The starting DEs are also quite large - both in the 310 lb range.  There are good, veteran backups at this position who are still around 300 lbs.  I expect a lot of perimeter passes to force these big bodies into long pursuits.  Texas doesn't huddle and does a good job of preventing substitutions during drives.  If the Horns can keep these guys on the field, they might have to alternate drives rather than plays and fatigue will set in quickly in the heat.

While Texas uses tempo selectively, LSU appears to be committed to (medium) tempo as their standard pace.  I suspect this is going to stress their defense greatly.  To test this hypothesis I looked at last year's results.  LSU's defense only had to play 70 snaps 5 times.  Once was SE La which was able to sustain some drives but didn't have to horses to do much beyond that.  The other 4 were La Tech, Florida, Bama and aggy.

aggy ran a total of 107 offensive plays, 78 of them in regulation.  Once the play count reached 70, the LSU D was never able to stop them.

Bama scored TDs on 2 of their last 3 drives, not counting killing the clock at the end.  Those 3 drives; 7 plays for 72 yds, 5-32 and 8-80.  They resulted in nearly as many points as the first 8 Bama drives.

Florida also scored 2 TDs late but one was defensive.  Their offense did mount a pair of 9 play drives, one resulting in the decisive TD late in the game.

La Tech did most of their damage in the 2nd half as well.  3 consecutive drives resulting in 191 yds on 29 plays for 2 TDs.  Their last 2 drives were snuffed out after one first down on each.  This game is a bit more ambiguous but also the one where LSU enjoyed the largest talent differential.

 

Last year LSU struggled on defense anytime the opponent ran 70 plays or more.  It looks like fatigue is a very real issue for them.  It is one that can easily be aggravated by running tempo on offense themselves.  It's part of the reason for the offenses dominating in the Big XII statistically.  Obviously this wasn't a problem against a bad, one dimensional Ga Southern offense.  Ten 3 and outs and 2 TOs are going to keep the defense well rested regardless of tempo used by their own offense. 

Imagine - they want to run tempo the whole game 

50 minutes ago, GoldAppleCorps said:

I felt bad for Coburn. Firing out of his stance into a double team over and over, only to have the QB take 3 steps and pass. He was effective, since LaTech quickly gave up running at all and just started winging it to the flats. Still, I imagine it takes a lot of mental fortitude, plus a healthy fear of your position coach, to keep up those reps.

Not to worry - when Burrow gets happy feet and looks to run away from the guys coming around the outside he's going to run strait into those OL and the pocket will collapse. Maybe we even get a buttfumble out of the deal.

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