Any critters you have a irrational fear of / hatred for?

[smuggs 9350]

41 minutes ago, mulletpelini said:

my my my said the spider to the fly, I've got some toys I think you might wanna try

I can remember being at the pool as a kid, these fuckers would land on your head and the natural response would be to get under the water....except the motherfuckers would take the dive with you.

 

Had one find his way into my garage a few months ago. I was out there boozing and farting around one night and when I heard the distinctive A-10 Warthog turbofan noise, it sent a chill up my spine. It was like that scene in Aliens where Ripley and Newt are trapped in the med lab.

I took his ass out with a beach towel but only after ~15 minutes of ducking, diving, dodging and screaming like a woman.

 

 

 

Edited August 5, 2019 by smuggs

[BonzoMontreaux 1036]

1. Snakes - I don't go into full panic mode if know they're venomous, but my blood pressure and heart rate go up a few ticks for sure.

2. Wasps - Years ago, my little brother was 4 or 5 and got stung by a red wasp through his jeans.  I was only a few feet away from him and he was already to the point to where I had to carry him across the road to get him in the house.  We sped to the hospital and got him the care he needed. ***  This was before benadryl was OTC and of course we weren't aware that he was allergic to wasps so we had nothing on hand at the house.  Needless to say, he is always packing benadryl.

***Hospital wasn't going to treat him until my mom could prove she could pay for services.  At that time, she couldn't and they didn't give him an attention until a friend of our showed up to show proof that the bill would get handled.  Dude was a rodeo clown - in the Cowboy Hall of Fame.  You could hear him walking in the other side of the hospital cussing every one in sight.  

3.  Eels - I mean... wtf, man?

[TwiceHorn 31431]

Roaches are nasty and vile.  They freak me out a little bit because they will do shit like land on you or in your bed or crawl across your face.  Or get in food.

Millipedes and centipedes kind of same, but I don't know that they crawl all over people or really get in their food.

The rest of em don't bother me much, although I freely admit I can be startled pretty good by any well-camouflaged critter that all of a sudden busts a move (snakes do this principally, it seems).

Last time I got stung by a wasp, in Austin in 84, I swole up and got pretty sick, so I have a healthy fear of anaphylaxis and will get away from a wasp with haste. So there's that.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

3 hours ago, smuggs said:

 

Had one find his way into my garage a few months ago. I was out there boozing and farting around one night and when I heard the distinctive A-10 Warthog turbofan noise, it sent a chill up my spine. It was like that scene in Aliens where Ripley and Newt are trapped in the med lab.

I took his ass out with a beach towel but only after ~15 minutes of ducking, diving, dodging and screaming like a woman.

 

 

 

You forgot dipping, and your second dodge.  You must not be that wigged out.

[Deej 76748]

On 8/2/2019 at 10:05 PM, Crusher said:

Possums. I fucking hate 'em. They do that growling thing and I am out..

 

I like possums. Harmless, really. Rarely get rabies and immune to most snake venom. They get a bad rap.

[Deej 76748]

Cottonwood beetles. They have freaked me out since I was a kid.

 

[lateshow 1304]

11 hours ago, Deej said:

I like possums. Harmless, really. Rarely get rabies and immune to most snake venom. They get a bad rap.

I'm cool with possums. They eat snakes and ticks all kinds of other things you don't really want around the house. 

However, once, in high school, I gigged a possum while we were out frog gigging. It turned out to be pregnant, and that's a sight I won't forget. 

[MissingInAction 25002]

I frightened your mom's critter last night 

[Homesickhorn 2202]

15 hours ago, Deej said:

I like possums. Harmless, really. Rarely get rabies and immune to most snake venom. They get a bad rap.

I'm in the same boat.  They're ugly, and can look meaner than hell, but they're pretty docile for the most part.  And, the fact that they're marsupials is pretty cool.

[SimonBolivar 10957]

On 8/5/2019 at 11:43 AM, Homesickhorn said:

Lure them in with promises of a better life, tell them you’ve never met anyone like them before, and as soon as they let their guard down...you strike.

[hundredTT 577]

Roaches and Rats. Just last weekend my fiancé and I were in bed and she screams, huge fucking roach on the drape, then fell to the ground. The thing I hate is their speed. I luckily killed it before it darted under the bed, or else I wouldn’t have been able to sleep. Definitely irrational. Rats because they are fucking disease filled rodents. Spiders don’t necessarily scare me, except as someone posted earlier, randomly walking into a web. 

Edited August 6, 2019 by hundredTT

[4th and 5 4914]

a few weeks ago I was working outside and in an effort to pick a flower pot tray up off the ground, bent over and put my hand down on a brick wall right next to an asp, then jumped back....and then picked up the tray and there was a Texas Giant Centipede under it

[Jersey Man10 3528]

When I was a kid I was laying in bed face down and I kept feeling a tickling on my chin. I would brush it off and go back to bed and repeat. Then I felt that maybe it was something else so I turn on my light and there is a giant cockroach on my pillow. Luckily I I have glasses and was blind so I couldn't see it in detail. I grabbed a wad of toilet paper and crushed it and flushed it down the toilet.

Just last week I opened the door to my bathroom and I felt something fall on my shoulder and I looked around and couldn't figure out what it was. Then I saw a roach run past my feet trying to escape. Stomped that little fucker.

But yeah fuck roaches.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21864]

Some of you people sound like you need to clean your domicile more often

[ztejas 43411]

On 8/5/2019 at 8:12 PM, Onboard 2.0 said:

You forgot dipping, and your second dodge.  You must not be that wigged out.

If you can dodge a horsefly, you can dodge a ball. 

[Buzzrock 14901]

On 8/4/2019 at 7:51 PM, luke duke said:

No, I'm not a pussy. My wife has enough irrational fears for the whole family.

Congrats, you’re our first internet tough guy!

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

24 minutes ago, ztejas said:

If you can dodge a horsefly, you can dodge a ball. 

Ya got me there slim.....

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

17 hours ago, Jersey Man10 said:

Just last week I opened the door to my bathroom and I felt something fall on my shoulder and I looked around and couldn't figure out what it was. Then I saw a roach run past my feet trying to escape

 

Hey man, sounds like he was toilet trained, what's the problem ?

[Call 393]

On 8/3/2019 at 12:38 PM, Surly Bevo said:

Spiders roaches wasps flies bees etc all fine.

But this fucker right here wants to eat your soul

These fuckers on a cold morning in the deer blind.  

[clapclapclap 9000]

I was paranoid of Brown Recluse spiders until thinking about it:  The fangs are on the underside so if I step on one in the dark it wont bite me.  Still wear socks to bed, though.

 

Every year I start getting a strong urge to move to scenic Arizona.  And each time the dream is eventually squashed by tales of the Bark Scorpion. 

 

On 8/5/2019 at 10:52 AM, youdunnf'dup said:

I’ve known people (a person) that have tried to create an environment that would attract bats so they would eat misquotes. It actually works really well. 

Preview and edit functions are less of a hassle.

[NWBuck 8551]

Mice.

I've raised and handled rats, both as pets and as a lab assistant in college. They're awesome.

But mice give me the heebie jeebies.

Edited August 7, 2019 by NWBuck

[youdunnf'dup 2147]

35 minutes ago, clapclapclap said:

I was paranoid of Brown Recluse spiders until thinking about it:  The fangs are on the underside so if I step on one in the dark it wont bite me.  Still wear socks to bed, though.

 

Every year I start getting a strong urge to move to scenic Arizona.  And each time the dream is eventually squashed by tales of the Bark Scorpion. 

 

Preview and edit functions are less of a hassle.

I never preview shit haha. I run into this problem a lot when I post here. I realized what I did and it was too late for me to edit. I didn’t feel like correcting myself in another post. Whatever. You knew what I meant, but I’ll admit I need to get better about that. Autocorrect is a bitch sometimes. 

[General Specific 3250]

Aggressive ducks and geese. How do you fight a duck?

I do, in the winter.

1. Apply duck/goose call
2. 12 gauge
3. Seasoning
4. Warm oven
5. Serve and eat

[General Specific 3250]

For me, it’s Banana spiders. When I was a kid, I would stay at my great grandparents for the summer. My great grandfather and I would sleep in between the rows of corn (I with my 22 Marlin, he with something real) near the cantaloupe, watermelon and other luscious divine garden goods. We would wait for varmints and take-em out. Anyhow, on more than one occasion, I was bitten by Banana spiders, they will always keep me out.

[High Plains Drifter 11024]

I'll pick up tarantulas with my bare hands. I'll remove rattle snakes from the yard with a snake stick without putting down my beer. I've been stung by pretty much everything that flies, walks, or crawls on God's Earth, and I still have a live and let live attitude toward wasps, scorpions, velvet ants, or whatever.

 

But these fucking things evoke an emotion that I can only describe as a primal revulsion:

 

 

Back in the 80s, there was a biology professor at UT who kept one of those things as a pet. He would take it out of its cage and let it crawl around on his arms and up under his shirt.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

I don't have a problem with wasps, hornets, and yellowjackets in general, because they are extremely beneficial in the garden. However, I do want to know where they are at any given moment. Worst sting I ever got was when I was pruning a giant lantana, and because I didn't see them there, I grabbed an entire nest when I was reaching for a branch. Felt like I was plugged in to a nuclear reactor.

Also kind of odd... I keep bees, and they never freak me out. But if I find a moth invading the hive and eating comb, I have to fight the willies when I grab it out of there. No idea why.

Edited August 8, 2019 by Walden Ponderer
Fucking autocorrect.

[HOOKEM4 5036]

4 hours ago, High Plains Drifter said:

I'll pick up tarantulas with my bare hands. I'll remove rattle snakes from the yard with a snake stick without putting down my beer. I've been stung by pretty much everything that flies, walks, or crawls on God's Earth, and I still have a live and let live attitude toward wasps, scorpions, velvet ants, or whatever.

 

But these fucking things evoke an emotion that I can only describe as a primal revulsion:

 

 

Back in the 80s, there was a biology professor at UT who kept one of those things as a pet. He would take it out of its cage and let it crawl around on his arms and up under his shirt.

There is nothing irrational about fearing or hating these fucking spawns of satan. I grabbed a log to throw on the smoker last weekend and didn't look well enough. As I was putting it in the fire box I felt something on my finger...holy shit, fucking murder centipede. Fuck those things.

[HOOK'EMHOOAH 1610]

On 8/2/2019 at 9:56 PM, Buzzrock said:

 

I like snakes. I’ll pick up a non-venomous snake in the wild (even kept one as a pet as a kid). Spiders don’t bother me as long as they don’t touch me. Bees are cool. I give wasps a wide berth. I fortunately haven’t dealt with too many rodents in the home.

 

But mother fuck a cockroach. Especially the built palmetto bug bastards. They were everywhere on the farm growing up, and they show up in my garage and on my deck in the summer. I just flattened a couple on the deck while getting the smoker going.

 

I fucking hate them. If more than two came at me at once I’d probably burn the house down. I still have the occasional farm roach nightmare.

 

And just in the spirit of the sub-forum:

 

It ain't what they kill and carry off . It's what they fall into and fucking ruin.

[ulukinatme 1763]

Chihuahuas.  They're just overgrown rats.  My wife has had one for 14 years and you can't teach that thing shit.  Still makes messes in the house after all this time, not like the other dogs we've had.  Anytime he's downstairs and I get up from the office upstairs and move around he starts barking incessantly like the house is being robbed.  He's done this for all 10 years we've been married, he still hasn't figured it out it's me even when I come downstairs and the noise stops.  Chihuahuas are just dumb as shit.  I would have never agreed to the vermin, but she brought it into the marriage.  Damn things can and will live for 20+ years too, so I probably have to endure his bullshit for another 6 years.

Edited August 8, 2019 by ulukinatme

[Jiggy-Z 3432]

Snakes for sure because of the element of surprise.  They don't make any noise if they don't want to and usually I just happen upon them sitting there with a shit eating grin on their faces like they meant for that to happen.  We have a half mile track around our property that I used to run on almost every day.  In the spring and fall I would see them but not before I ran up upon them sitting there on the trail as I ran past them with an interrupted skip stride.  i would finish the lap and then call it quits.

Have not seen huge fat walking sticks mentioned.

Like this:

One was perched by our front door jamb a few weeks ago.  It was about 8" long in the torso and had its front legs folded out in front of it so as to make it look like it had only 4 legs.  It was about as thick as a Husky pencil.  I was going in and out loading up my gym bag, coffee, guitar, etc before I went to work and I kept forgetting it was there and it freaked me out when I opened the door and again on every return.  Reminded me of that creepy Demagorgen from Stranger Things and appeared almost mammalian.

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

Slugs are pretty gross. No idea why I am okay with snails but not with slugs, but there you go.

[Whatever 700]

I'm on the Fuck roaches/waterbugs train. Fuck them to high holy Hell. I'm from a rural CenTex area and also worked in the golf business for 19 years. I've been stung by red and black wasps, yellow jackets, bees and scorpions on quite a few occasions. I still don't fear any of them, much less snakes and spiders, which love to eat flies and mosquitoes. I welcome most spiders or snakes into my yard.

My grandparents' house was infested with waterbugs and I've woken up with them crawling on me a few times, which is a few too many. Their speed and propensity to surprise you out of nowhere have mind-fucked me for all of my 36 years on this Earth.

I still don't know what their purpose is on the planet.

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

5 hours ago, Walden Ponderer said:

Slugs are pretty gross. No idea why I am okay with snails but not with slugs, but there you go.

cause snails taste good with pesto, garlic, and olive oil ?

[HOOK'EMHOOAH 1610]

[Rimbo 25908]

Little critters I irrationally fear and hate? That's easy.

Fear: Spiders.

Hate: Aggies.

[tbone_ 14105]

But they put out some great albums.

[Buzzrock 14901]

On 8/8/2019 at 9:14 PM, Whatever said:

I'm on the Fuck roaches/waterbugs train. Fuck them to high holy Hell. I'm from a rural CenTex area and also worked in the golf business for 19 years. I've been stung by red and black wasps, yellow jackets, bees and scorpions on quite a few occasions. I still don't fear any of them, much less snakes and spiders, which love to eat flies and mosquitoes. I welcome most spiders or snakes into my yard.

My grandparents' house was infested with waterbugs and I've woken up with them crawling on me a few times, which is a few too many. Their speed and propensity to surprise you out of nowhere have mind-fucked me for all of my 36 years on this Earth.

I still don't know what their purpose is on the planet.

I forgot about this but a few years ago I was working at the computer and I looked down and one was sitting ON MY HAND. I reacted predictably (like a little bitch). Traumatizing. I wish I hadn’t remembered that. 

[Hate 20106]

I had to kill one on the porch last night.  Fucker came out of nowhere and crawled right under my chair.  Of course I jumped out of the chair like it was on fire and turned on the light so that I could find him.  Killed him with a shoe and then pushed him out where the ants to go to town on what's left of him because fuck him!

[youdunnf'dup 2147]

Another thing about roaches is, I’m generally a pretty clean person. I always have been. My mom was crazy about how clean the house had to be growing up, and I never really understood how much I cared about cleanliness until I had filthy roommates. So anytime roaches come around, I feel like I’m doing something wrong, when in reality, those fuckers will show up just about anywhere. 

Also, is there really a difference between roaches and waterbugs? I feel like I rarely ever encounter smaller dark red looking roaches, but if I’m going to see them, it’s going to be the huge black ones. 

[Onboard 2.0 9083]

4 hours ago, Hate said:

I had to kill one on the porch last night.  Fucker came out of nowhere and crawled right under my chair.  Of course I jumped out of the chair like it was on fire and turned on the light so that I could find him.  Killed him with a shoe and then pushed him out where the ants to go to town on what's left of him because fuck him!

Ants gotta eat same as buzzards.....

[bmbmd 1027]

I’m getting pretty damn tired of squirrels. In my attic. 

[Fudge Nuggets 19184]

On 8/5/2019 at 11:00 AM, 4th and 5 said:

I also hate armadillos and deer, but my hatred of them is rational

How can you hate deer?

[Homesickhorn 2202]

Or hate armadillos? I get that they’re borrowers, and sometimes mess up gardens etc, but that’s preventable. Those poor goofy bastards really get bullied by humans more than most in my opinion.

 

[Walden Ponderer 12639]

3 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

How can you hate deer?

You kiddin' me? Filthy peeping-toms, always shining lights in the caves of poor, unsuspecting Yetis.

[4th and 5 4914]

3 hours ago, Fudge Nuggets said:

How can you hate deer?

Because they are everywhere in my neighborhood shitting all over the place and eating everything except lantana

2 hours ago, Homesickhorn said:

Or hate armadillos? I get that they’re borrowers, and sometimes mess up gardens etc, but that’s preventable. Those poor goofy bastards really get bullied by humans more than most in my opinion.

 

Because they fuck up my yard constantly. 

How is that preventable?

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

On 8/10/2019 at 6:46 AM, Buzzrock said:

I forgot about this but a few years ago I was working at the computer and I looked down and one was sitting ON MY HAND. I reacted predictably (like a little bitch). Traumatizing. I wish I hadn’t remembered that. 

When we moved from South Dakota to Texas in 1974, I had never even seen a cockroach, much less a water bug.  My dad had one crawl over his lips in the middle of the night just after we arrived.  I think the reaction of which you speak is what we all heard that night.  Welcome to San Antonio.

Edited August 12, 2019 by ImissWallyPryor

[Homesickhorn 2202]

Because they fuck up my yard constantly. 

How is that preventable?

Strategically placed moth balls, a constant gas-fed fire around the perimeter of your lawn, or porn magazines at their points of entry. If that doesn’t work, then I guess you set out the claymores, or the deck-mounted Browning M-60’s. Quick bursts with those babies because their barrels tend to heat up pretty quickly.

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

8 hours ago, youdunnf'dup said:

Another thing about roaches is, I’m generally a pretty clean person. I always have been. My mom was crazy about how clean the house had to be growing up, and I never really understood how much I cared about cleanliness until I had filthy roommates. So anytime roaches come around, I feel like I’m doing something wrong, when in reality, those fuckers will show up just about anywhere. 

Also, is there really a difference between roaches and waterbugs? I feel like I rarely ever encounter smaller dark red looking roaches, but if I’m going to see them, it’s going to be the huge black ones. 

Water bugs aren't really an indoor roach like the German cockroach.  They like to eat decaying vegetation, and if your house is clean, they tend to venture indoors when the weather forces them to move.  That's why organic mulch isn't the best thing to have around your house.

Edited August 12, 2019 by ImissWallyPryor

[ImissWallyPryor 9046]

Has anyone ever had a secret cave cricket infestation?  I hate those nasty, disgusting little fuckers.  We were getting them in our master bedroom closets in our Barton Creek house, and I couldn't figure out where they were coming from.  They jump like a grasshopper on crack, and not just once; they bounce around like they are made out of Flubber.  I accidently dug up a nest of them in my back yard when I was trying to extend some drainage in rocky "soil."  I about shit my pants when they went crazy jumping.  I finally figured out how they were getting in when I checked out the motor on our master bathroom jacuzzi.  There were hundreds of them under there, and their only way in was through weep holes around the foundation.  I sprayed secret cave cricket killer under the tub and plugged every one of the weep holes with pieces of crumpled window screen, and that pretty much eliminated the problem (we saw a dramatic reduction in scorpions as well).

Vacuuming up the carcasses wasn't fun.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21864]

Or hate armadillos? I get that they’re borrowers, and sometimes mess up gardens etc, but that’s preventable. Those poor goofy bastards really get bullied by humans more than most in my opinion.

 

They’re great if you don’t mind catching leprosy.

 

 

Also I hate ladybugs ever since my bedroom at the ranch got infested by a swarm of about a million of the little fuckers.