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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

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Thatguy

Thatguy 8826

Posted
Posted
On 4/12/2019 at 11:32 AM, Johnny Sack said:

Washer drain was partially clogged last night.  So water started backing up and spilling out of drain pipe in washing room.  Our washer is ten years old, a good brand, but also has a little speck of rust you can see when you open it that in no way affects its utility.  Also, it was clearly a clog between the drain pipe and the sewer line because the kitchen sink and dishwasher were draining fine and the washer is the last one in the line.

Wife - Sees water on floor and gets in a huff about how we need a new washer!

Me - Why?

Wife - Water is spilling out?

Me - The drain is clogged.  I just need to run the snake.

Wife - I still think we need a new washer.

Me - That isn't going to fix it.  You can hook any washer in the world up to that drain and it is going to back up unless and until the clog is cleared.  Why spend $700 on a new washing machine when I can fix the problem in 2 minutes for free?

Wife - I don't believe you.  This is going to mess up our floors.

Me - Let me show you.  (Go to garage.  Get snake.  Clear line.  Works perfectly)

Wife - I still think we need a new washer.

Me - Do you just hate money?

 

  What made me giggle the most about this story is that you think the washer you are going to buy is going to only cost $700.00.

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idigTexas

idigTexas 2289

Posted
Posted
2 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
1 hour ago, Thatguy said:
  What made me giggle the most about this story is that you think the washer you are going to buy is going to only cost $700.00.

Top loader yo...they're about 6-900 bucks.

Are you sure you are married?

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Cheeseweasel

Cheeseweasel 26438

Posted
Posted
11 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

Top loader yo...they're about 6-900 bucks.

You are not taking into account that the "new" washer will clash with the counter tops.

And since you are getting new counter tops, you'll need a new sink. 

And since you are getting a new sink, you'll need to repaint the cabinets.

And since you are repainting the cabinets, you'll need new dish towels/soap dispenser/trinkets

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Incredulity

Incredulity 11682

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

You are not taking into account that the "new" washer will clash with the counter tops.

And since you are getting new counter tops, you'll need a new sink. 

And since you are getting a new sink, you'll need to repaint the cabinets.

And since you are repainting the cabinets, you'll need new dish towels/soap dispenser/trinkets

The dish towels clash with the bathroom towels.................  Need a new pool.

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

Posted
Posted (edited)
10 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

As was already subtlely pointed out, he's also neglecting the reality that top loaders are old and not as "good" as the newer cooler looking units. Plus top loaders "don't have" a steam nor true true delicate cycles.

 

You need to add a LG sidekick washer for an extra 800 bucks for those times when you need to practice yoga while cleaning that tank top you're going to wear tomorrow

https://www.lg.com/us/pedestal-washers

 

 

Edited by MNLonghornFUKM
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ABSR

ABSR 5321

Posted
Posted
47 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

As was already subtlely pointed out, he's also neglecting the reality that top loaders are old and not as "good" as the newer cooler looking units. Plus top loaders "don't have" a steam nor true true delicate cycles.

While this is true, the front loaders tend to hold more moisture and can small a little mildewed...or something.   This is why after replacing the top loader with a front loader you need to get a new top loader to replace the 5 year old front loader that still works fine.

Can you guess how I know? 

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ChickenSandwich

ChickenSandwich 9849

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, ABSR said:

While this is true, the front loaders tend to hold more moisture and can small a little mildewed...or something.   This is why after replacing the top loader with a front loader you need to get a new top loader to replace the 5 year old front loader that still works fine.

Can you guess how I know? 

Try the laundry lasso

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Johnny Sack

Johnny Sack 8397

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

As was already subtlely pointed out, he's also neglecting the reality that top loaders are old and not as "good" as the newer cooler looking units. Plus top loaders "don't have" a steam nor true true delicate cycles.

This is a top loader.  And we bought it to replace the front loader.  Like the top loader better.  

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Flg8rfan

Flg8rfan 201

Posted
Posted

So mostly finished painting the outside of the house. It was a combination of brush, roller, and spraying.

My wife did most of the brushwork, kept asking why the brush I used was so much easier to clean and not covered with paint all the way up to the handle.

Me: Tone

I bought shitty brushes for her figuring they would be single use. Every morning I just handed her a new one.

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15352

Posted
Posted (edited)
6 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
30 minutes ago, Johnny Sack said:
This is a top loader.  And we bought it to replace the front loader.  Like the top loader better.  

I don't think there was anything we liked about our front loader experience other than thinking it looks cooler.

It’s even worse when you have the little, 3 compartment, wheeled laundry basket from pottery barn (or some shit)directly across from it.   You have to get between it and the dryer and the basket and maneuver.   It’s awesome!!  What a wedding gift!!

Edited by Trey3216
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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54381

Posted
Posted
26 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
50 minutes ago, Johnny Sack said:
This is a top loader.  And we bought it to replace the front loader.  Like the top loader better.  

I don't think there was anything we liked about our front loader experience other than thinking it looks cooler.

Front loaders are ass and they smell like it.

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ShaggyBevo RIP

ShaggyBevo RIP 3868

Posted
Posted
10 minutes ago, Beau Vine said:

Front loaders are ass and they smell like it.

The energy savings easily cover the extra care. Leave the door open when not in use. Wipe the seal boot with Affresh wipes every now and then. Run an Affresh tab thru every 6-8 weeks. That little door on the bottom corner is the cleanout for all the lint staying wet in the drain line. 

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Johnny Sack

Johnny Sack 8397

Posted
Posted
17 minutes ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

The energy savings easily cover the extra care. Leave the door open when not in use. Wipe the seal boot with Affresh wipes every now and then. Run an Affresh tab thru every 6-8 weeks. That little door on the bottom corner is the cleanout for all the lint staying wet in the drain line. 

I’d rather burn a little more electricity.  Zero fucks given.  Front loaders suck.  

The best washer I’ve ever used is the ten year old top loader commercial washer we have at the ranch.  That mother fucker holds a ton, wash cycle is half of normal and does a great job.  

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Llano Estacado

Llano Estacado 1257

Posted
Posted

//Continued derail// $5-10/yr is normal energy savings.

https://www.digitaltrends.com/home/front-load-vs-top-load-washer/

Fuck that. Smaller loads = more loads. Mildew, special wipes, vinegar and bleach cleaning cycles. We spend $5* per Target run for maintenance of our front loader. One leaking boot/seal was worth $100s just for the PITA. Next time I’m going top load. Water is cheap and I’m not loading it with phosphates anymore so who gives a shit.

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40874

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Johnny Sack said:

This is a top loader.  And we bought it to replace the front loader.  Like the top loader better.  

Yep, Mrs. Brat opted for her top loader washer after using son’s high dollar front door machine. And she leaves the lid opened when finished.

Edited by Armybrat
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Beau Vine

Beau Vine 54381

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

The energy savings easily cover the extra care. Leave the door open when not in use. Wipe the seal boot with Affresh wipes every now and then. Run an Affresh tab thru every 6-8 weeks. That little door on the bottom corner is the cleanout for all the lint staying wet in the drain line. 

I make thousands of dollars per hour.  The energy savings can't possibly offset the value of my time.  Sorry you're poor.  

Edited by Beau Vine
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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5215

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, ShaggyBevo RIP said:

The energy savings easily cover the extra care. Leave the door open when not in use. Wipe the seal boot with Affresh wipes every now and then. Run an Affresh tab thru every 6-8 weeks. That little door on the bottom corner is the cleanout for all the lint staying wet in the drain line. 

I keep trying to imagine a man saying this but it's just doesn't seem possible.

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Armybrat

Armybrat 40874

Posted
Posted
9 hours ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:

This might apply to 2 people on shaggy but I guess it you're living in 300sq ft studio in NYC..the stackable factor of front loaders beats having to share a laundry room with 20 other people.


That's all I've got

With all that storage space you’d only need a sink to wash your socks & boxers in.

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Pato del Muerto

Pato del Muerto 52571

Posted
Posted

I need a ruling here from the marshalls. 

Wife decides to purchase a massage for me, even though I don’t want one and never had one and don’t like people touching me. 

It was for like 5 days after she told me. I forget the appointment. I tell her I missed it, she gets mad at me for wasting money. 

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