Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

[SilasCoade 2,622]

She forgot?

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

54 minutes ago, Llogg said:

She forgot?

Yeah. The regular price was $150 but got them BOGO since they were all right feet only. 

She saved her husband $75 bucks and doesn't want to constantly remind him!

[EE2B 1,565]

The pic needs to be posted to mom-shame the others that obviously don't care about children

There is absolutely no mom shaming going on at all. The cookies go in with the kids before school starts so no one really knows who sent what. Hell we sent two dozen store bought cupcakes also. My wife even specifically mentions those will go first before the flip flops. We do things because we can, not to shame someone who can’t.

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

20 minutes ago, EE2B said:

There is absolutely no mom shaming going on at all. The cookies go in with the kids before school starts so no one really knows who sent what. Hell we sent two dozen store bought cupcakes also. My wife even specifically mentions those will go first before the flip flops. We do things because we can, not to shame someone who can’t.

Yeah, the other mom's know. Facebook/Insta/Twitter.

They know.

[Modessit 5,601]

Plus they gotta get that teacher Like.

[Armybrat 40,844]

At least she didn’t request Air Jordans.

[Dennis Taylor 18,822]

1 hour ago, EE2B said:

There is absolutely no mom shaming going on at all. The cookies go in with the kids before school starts so no one really knows who sent what. Hell we sent two dozen store bought cupcakes also. My wife even specifically mentions those will go first before the flip flops. We do things because we can, not to shame someone who can’t.

this may not be the right thread for you

[BHMCruiser 1,813]

1 hour ago, EE2B said:

There is absolutely no mom shaming going on at all. The cookies go in with the kids before school starts so no one really knows who sent what. Hell we sent two dozen store bought cupcakes also. My wife even specifically mentions those will go first before the flip flops. We do things because we can, not to shame someone who can’t.

This is the lamest post I have ever read on this site or ShaggyBevo

[4th and 5 4,914]

40 minutes ago, Armybrat said:

At least she didn’t request Air Jordans. Chuck Taylors

Edited May 22, 2019 by 4th and 5
goddamn this editor, am I allowed to post something!??! FIFY, AB!!

[TrashMaster G 17,557]

1 hour ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Yeah, the other mom's know. Facebook/Insta/Twitter.

They know.

The other mom's what?

[AM Wood 335]

2 hours ago, EE2B said:

There is absolutely no mom shaming going on at all. The cookies go in with the kids before school starts so no one really knows who sent what. Hell we sent two dozen store bought cupcakes also. My wife even specifically mentions those will go first before the flip flops. We do things because we can, not to shame someone who can’t.

this post makes me want to hang myself.

[PilotsError 2,287]

2 hours ago, EE2B said:

 

There is absolutely no mom shaming going on at all. The cookies go in with the kids before school starts so no one really knows who sent what. Hell we sent two dozen store bought cupcakes also. My wife even specifically mentions those will go first before the flip flops. We do things because we can, not to shame someone who can’t.

 

It's cute that you believe that.

[Reagan1k 3,024]

14 minutes ago, PilotsError said:

We do things because we can, not to shame someone who can’t.

You might feel that way, but she's got a scorecard hidden somewhere .  It doesn't make her a bad person, it just makes her female.

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

12 minutes ago, Reagan1k said:

You might feel that way, but she's got a scorecard hidden somewhere .  It doesn't make her a bad person, it just makes her female.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we are back!

[TrashMaster G 17,557]

13 minutes ago, Reagan1k said:

You might feel that way, but she's got a scorecard hidden somewhere .  It doesn't make her a bad person, it just makes her female.

[Anastasis 23,469]

What kind of a fucking communist do you have to be to cut an onion like this.

[Goofyboy 3,293]

Looks like a shallot, but still wrong.

[William_Cannon 86]

Anyone care to guess how much 2 dozen of these cost for a class of kindergartners?



If you guessed $75, you would be correct.

But did it come with a lot of ice cream?

[Anastasis 23,469]

2 hours ago, Goofyboy said:

Looks like a shallot, but still wrong.

Red onion. I confronted her about it this afternoon. She told me, "but I wanted the onion slices in rings." Conversation ended like this...

[Buffsoldier 1,895]

Out of curiosity, what way did you expect the conversation to go?

[mulletpelini 5,211]

I actually cut my onions that way, I prefer rings myself.

8 hours ago, EE2B said:

There is absolutely no mom shaming going on at all. The cookies go in with the kids before school starts so no one really knows who sent what. Hell we sent two dozen store bought cupcakes also. My wife even specifically mentions those will go first before the flip flops. We do things because we can, not to shame someone who can’t.

this was sarcasm right?  Otherwise,

[BHMCruiser 1,813]

18 minutes ago, BurntEyes said:

I'm not arguing here, but that is a really, really bold claim.

There was nothing about being the biggest Longhorn fan on the planet, pay check stubs, cats, golf nor leasing 90s Corvettes in that post.

Given the context and the heartfelt earnestness of the lame post which was lame, I'm sticking to my call on this one.

 

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

47 minutes ago, BHMCruiser said:

Given the context and the heartfelt earnestness of the lame post which was lame, I'm sticking to my call on this one.

 

[Reagan1k 3,024]

2 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

I'm not arguing here, but that is a really, really bold claim.

There was nothing about being the biggest Longhorn fan on the planet, pay check stubs, cats, golf nor leasing 90s Corvettes in that post.

Steve Goodman just doxxed himself.

[Trey3216 15,346]

35 minutes ago, Reagan1k said:

Steve Goodman just doxxed himself.

He's a good friend that wrote that song

[DallasHorn26 586]

I'm not arguing here, but that is a really, really bold claim.
There was nothing about being the biggest Longhorn fan on the planet, pay check stubs, cats, golf nor leasing 90s Corvettes in that post.

Not to mention Norwegian prostitutes and leaving price tags on your coats. Or turning down your neighbor that brought over a bottle of wine.

[CycleTex87 2,970]

3 hours ago, Trey3216 said:

He's a good friend that wrote that song

“I was drunk the day my momma got out of prison....”

[mulletpelini 5,211]

5 hours ago, DallasHorn26 said:

11 hours ago, BurntEyes said:

I'm not arguing here, but that is a really, really bold claim.
There was nothing about being the biggest Longhorn fan on the planet, pay check stubs, cats, golf nor leasing 90s Corvettes in that post.

Not to mention Norwegian prostitutes and leaving price tags on your coats. Or turning down your neighbor that brought over a bottle of wine.

or a naked cam model for a pizza

[Anastasis 23,469]

On 5/22/2019 at 9:12 PM, mulletpelini said:

I actually cut my onions that way, I prefer rings myself.

 

It's like you don't know how an onion works. 

Edited May 24, 2019 by Anastasis

[JimmyHoffa 1,188]

On 5/22/2019 at 12:53 PM, EE2B said:

There is absolutely no mom shaming going on at all. The cookies go in with the kids before school starts so no one really knows who sent what. Hell we sent two dozen store bought cupcakes also. My wife even specifically mentions those will go first before the flip flops. We do things because we can, not to shame someone who can’t.

 

 

On 5/22/2019 at 1:14 PM, Cheeseweasel said:

Yeah, the other mom's know. Facebook/Insta/Twitter.

They know.

 

On 5/22/2019 at 3:30 PM, Reagan1k said:

You might feel that way, but she's got a scorecard hidden somewhere .  It doesn't make her a bad person, it just makes her female.

 

100%. It's all a competition. If you want to really blow their minds the next time they need a classroom volunteer you should go. That would be the cherry on top to the other moms. 

"Not only does she buy super expensive cookies her husband even helps........." The other moms would be falling all over you on top of hating your wife. It would be perfect. 

[Thatguy 8,699]

 

   So we all joke about how a simple fridge purchase can end up costing you a lot of money.........

 

 

[tbone_ 14,123]

The level of planning and amount of shit you apparently need to bring for a weekend road trip never ceases to amaze me. Even after 20 years.

I recommend a little surreptitious Fireball in your coffee so you can just sit back, chill, and ride out the chaos.

I think it’s debatable that we even leave on the day we are supposed to leave.

[CycleTex87 2,970]

Nobody ever helps her around the house, how can she be ready to go on time, you insensitive bastard.

[BHMCruiser 1,813]

"So we all joke about how a simple fridge purchase can end up costing you a lot of money........."

 

Dude I am not watching a 14 minute long video. Get out of here with that bullshit

[dingleberryswitzer 2,724]

1 hour ago, tbone_ said:

The level of planning and amount of shit you apparently need to bring for a weekend road trip never ceases to amaze me. Even after 20 years.

I recommend a little surreptitious Fireball in your coffee so you can just sit back, chill, and ride out the chaos.

I think it’s debatable that we even leave on the day we are supposed to leave.

Let me know if you get the whole "do we even really want/need to go?  "

[LW Goatman 1,124]

How about just getting out of the fucking door? I'm up at 7, already packed, showered, and loaded up the vehicle. Wife and daughter are sipping starbucks and doing wtf ever. At 11am my wife is scrambling trying to find a medication or the left shoe of pair number 10 she's bringing. Out the door at 1:30, 2.5 hours after scheduled departure and right when the rubber meets the road I hear "I'm hungry" and "didn't even have time to eat".

[AUS-97HORN 11,761]

20 minutes ago, LW Goatman said:

How about just getting out of the fucking door? I'm up at 7, already packed, showered, and loaded up the vehicle. Wife and daughter are sipping starbucks and doing wtf ever. At 11am my wife is scrambling trying to find a medication or the left shoe of pair number 10 she's bringing. Out the door at 1:30, 2.5 hours after scheduled departure and right when the rubber meets the road I hear "I'm hungry" and "didn't even have time to eat".

i mean, thats on you.

if you need to leave by 11, you should know that you need to tell the females that you are leaving at 9 or 930.  that way when you leave by noon, its not as frustrating.

 

because we all know there is zero chance you are ever leaving ontime.

[Mitch Cumsteen 18,549]

1 hour ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

Let me know if you get the whole "do we even really want/need to go?  "

We've had plans to go to the ranch this weekend for weeks. Dog had to have unexpected surgery Wednesday. I volunteer to take care of her at home this weekend while everybody else (i.e, wife, kids, kids' friends, Typhoon Mary, her family, other random in-law family members, etc.) ranches it up. I mean, a weekend alone at home with my dog? Sign me the fuck up, please. Now my wife is throwing a fit because she knows that she is going to have to take care of everything down there because the rest of her family is useless. I've gone through a day and a half of her stressing and bitching about it including a 20 minute rant of a phone call while I was in the middle of a meeting today.

Any guesses on how this ends? 

[retread 2,951]

Taking the dog with you to the ranch.

[ztejas 43,448]

8 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

We've had plans to go to the ranch this weekend for weeks. Dog had to have unexpected surgery Wednesday. I volunteer to take care of her at home this weekend while everybody else (i.e, wife, kids, kids' friends, Typhoon Mary, her family, other random in-law family members, etc.) ranches it up. I mean, a weekend alone at home with my dog? Sign me the fuck up, please. Now my wife is throwing a fit because she knows that she is going to have to take care of everything down there because the rest of her family is useless. I've gone through a day and a half of her stressing and bitching about it including a 20 minute rant of a phone call while I was in the middle of a meeting today.

Any guesses on how this ends? 

Your dog shoots your wife? 

[dingleberryswitzer 2,724]

Mitch is going to take care of everything, while his wife stays home with the dog.

[Cheeseweasel 26,438]

2 minutes ago, dingleberryswitzer said:

Mitch is going to take care of everything, while his wife stays home with the dog.

And then bitches about having to take care of the dog.

[thunderlounge 7,832]

4 hours ago, tbone_ said:

The level of planning and amount of shit you apparently need to bring for a weekend road trip never ceases to amaze me. Even after 20 years.

I recommend a little surreptitious Fireball in your coffee so you can just sit back, chill, and ride out the chaos.

I think it’s debatable that we even leave on the day we are supposed to leave. 

 

And not just the planning. All the fucking shit that is "must have" for 2 or 3 nights away. Jesus titty fucking Christ.

Went on a weekend trip a couple weeks ago, and she packed more shit than we went to Europe with last Christmas for 3 weeks, or last summer for 3 weeks. How in the flying fuck is that even possible?

 

 

1 hour ago, AUS-97HORN said:

if you need to leave by 11, you should know that you need to tell the females that you are leaving at 9 or 930.  that way when you leave by noon, its not as frustrating. 

 

Exactly. If you haven't learned how much to pad your departure by, then there is little hope for you. Of course it's not the same every time, and depends on where/why/how you're going. Sometimes you pad less, sometimes you pad it more. If you end up a tick early, even better. However, you can never let her know what you're doing. Once she finds out, then you're really fucked. Why? Because no matter what time you tell her she will think that it's padded. There is no winning this game. It is merely about survival.

[Buffsoldier 1,895]

34 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Any guesses on how this ends? 

With another mural.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,907]

Any guesses on how this ends? 

Mitch goes to the ranch while the wife stays home with the dog. The dog dies from neglect while the wife is out shopping for giant crabs.

[NeverMarryAStripper 21,907]

The only way to train a wife is to stick to your word. If you tell her that you’re leaving at a certain time then you leave at that time. If that means she gets left behind then so be it. If you do anything else you’re just letting her know that she’s in charge and you’re a spineless wimp.

 

[Dennis Taylor 18,822]

 

[MNLonghornFUKM 8,817]

We've had plans to go to the ranch this weekend for weeks. Dog had to have unexpected surgery Wednesday. I volunteer to take care of her at home this weekend while everybody else (i.e, wife, kids, kids' friends, Typhoon Mary, her family, other random in-law family members, etc.) ranches it up. I mean, a weekend alone at home with my dog? Sign me the fuck up, please. Now my wife is throwing a fit because she knows that she is going to have to take care of everything down there because the rest of her family is useless. I've gone through a day and a half of her stressing and bitching about it including a 20 minute rant of a phone call while I was in the middle of a meeting today.
Any guesses on how this ends? 

She called the furniture refurbisher guy and paid him to come take care of the family but he hasn't shown up yet

[Mitch Cumsteen 18,549]

Anybody have "not going because too many water moccasins in the lake?" I'm sure there will be something new in the morning. 

[Player 4,575]

If this doesn’t somehow end with a second rawhide wreath for Mitch, then it will be a disappointment.