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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

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NWBuck

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1 hour ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

A couple of times a year, my wife has a huge knock down drag out fight with her sister. The cold war usually lasts about a week during which my wife vows that she is going to set better boundaries and then they ultimately put it behind them and devolve back into the same idiotic toxic patterns that they have been circling the drain with forever. Right now we are in the middle of by far their biggest fight ever and I actually think this one might stick. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high, but it looks like we are going on a serious Typhoon Mary diet (i.e., see you at the holidays and major family events -- otherwise, it's just news, weather and sports).

There hasn't been any contact between the two in a week. My wife blocked her phone for a couple of days a little over a week ago when all this started, and after she unblocked her they ended up meeting for lunch. That's when the shit hit the fan and Mary went completely ballistic when my wife "crossed the line," whatever the fuck that entails. In retaliation and because she is completely unoriginal, Mary then blocked my wife back. We aren't sure if she has unblocked her yet because my wife isn't calling or texting anyway and everything has gone completely radio silent. My wife is saying things that she never has before in such extremes that I actually believe her. The MIL is attempting to work the back channels, but my wife isn't having any of it. I remain skeptical but hopeful. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

 

Best part of this is the stress shopping Mrs. Cumsteen will be doing. Retail Therapy is beneficial for all of us.

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drifter379

drifter379 1106

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Posted
A couple of times a year, my wife has a huge knock down drag out fight with her sister. The cold war usually lasts about a week during which my wife vows that she is going to set better boundaries and then they ultimately put it behind them and devolve back into the same idiotic toxic patterns that they have been circling the drain with forever. Right now we are in the middle of by far their biggest fight ever and I actually think this one might stick. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high, but it looks like we are going on a serious Typhoon Mary diet (i.e., see you at the holidays and major family events -- otherwise, it's just news, weather and sports).
There hasn't been any contact between the two in a week. My wife blocked her phone for a couple of days a little over a week ago when all this started, and after she unblocked her they ended up meeting for lunch. That's when the shit hit the fan and Mary went completely ballistic when my wife "crossed the line," whatever the fuck that entails. In retaliation and because she is completely unoriginal, Mary then blocked my wife back. We aren't sure if she has unblocked her yet because my wife isn't calling or texting anyway and everything has gone completely radio silent. My wife is saying things that she never has before in such extremes that I actually believe her. The MIL is attempting to work the back channels, but my wife isn't having any of it. I remain skeptical but hopeful. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
 

1e81726866412afb66606a48097f5fab.jpg
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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18550

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Posted
1 hour ago, tbone_ said:

What’s the beef?

How do you unpack 40+ years of bat shit crazy codependent family dynamics?

Bottom line: Mary is a shit show. My wife tries to help. My wife gets shit on and even blamed for Mary's problems. Wife gets pissed. Tells Mary what a piece of shit she is. Lines get crossed. Mary gets pissed. Phones get blocked. Consequences will never be the same.

1 minute ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Whatever it is, you’ve got to squash it. 

I can't even begin to imagine a life where my wife wasn't constantly stressed out about / trying to fix or deal with whatever daily catastrophe Typhoon Mary is enduring. It is every single day and usually multiple times per day - like a part time job. Not having to deal with or having to hear about this constant bullshit is a complete lifestyle game changer.

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15346

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

A couple of times a year, my wife has a huge knock down drag out fight with her sister. The cold war usually lasts about a week during which my wife vows that she is going to set better boundaries and then they ultimately put it behind them and devolve back into the same idiotic toxic patterns that they have been circling the drain with forever. Right now we are in the middle of by far their biggest fight ever and I actually think this one might stick. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high, but it looks like we are going on a serious Typhoon Mary diet (i.e., see you at the holidays and major family events -- otherwise, it's just news, weather and sports).

There hasn't been any contact between the two in a week. My wife blocked her phone for a couple of days a little over a week ago when all this started, and after she unblocked her they ended up meeting for lunch. That's when the shit hit the fan and Mary went completely ballistic when my wife "crossed the line," whatever the fuck that entails. In retaliation and because she is completely unoriginal, Mary then blocked my wife back. We aren't sure if she has unblocked her yet because my wife isn't calling or texting anyway and everything has gone completely radio silent. My wife is saying things that she never has before in such extremes that I actually believe her. The MIL is attempting to work the back channels, but my wife isn't having any of it. I remain skeptical but hopeful. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

 

Big wheels keep on turnin, Proud Mary keep on burnin.   

 

This is the story of the Hurricane, a struggling sister you try to explain.   

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Mudcat35

Mudcat35 196

Posted
Posted

I'm not even going to add any backstory on this one.  My wife left a bottle of Advil in the toaster.  Yes, you read that right.  She then made toast for several days in a row.  The plastic bottle melted onto the rack.  I had to break it off with a screwdriver and a pair of pliers.  All good now.

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Longhornfan1024

Longhornfan1024 1707

Posted
Posted
11 hours ago, Mudcat35 said:

I'm not even going to add any backstory on this one.  My wife left a bottle of Advil in the toaster.  Yes, you read that right.  She then made toast for several days in a row.  The plastic bottle melted onto the rack.  I had to break it off with a screwdriver and a pair of pliers.  All good now.

I mean . . . I kind of want the backstory.  Normally I'm okay leaving it to the imagination, but I'm having trouble imagining any reason an Advil bottle would be in the toaster and how she could use the toaster without noticing the bottle in there.  Is she blind?

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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18550

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Posted
8 hours ago, ulukinatme said:

@Mitch Cumsteen I don't recall, is Typhoon Mary married?  If so, we need to get that guy on here.  I feel like Surly could benefit, and maybe he could too.

Yes. I don't know how her husband hasn't either divorced or killed her yet. He's a good guy and I feel terrible for him. He doesn't deserve the shit he's had to put up. No way would I steer him here. He doesn't deserve that, either.

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huge

huge 3793

Posted
Posted
Just now, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Yes. I don't know how her husband hasn't either divorced or killed her yet. He's a good guy and I feel terrible for him. He doesn't deserve the shit he's had to put up. No way would I steer him here. He doesn't deserve that, either.

tenor.gif

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Hate

Hate 20108

Posted
Posted
Yes. I don't know how her husband hasn't either divorced or killed her yet. He's a good guy and I feel terrible for him. He doesn't deserve the shit he's had to put up. No way would I steer him here. He doesn't deserve that, either.


Crazy pussy is usually the best...for a while.
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ulukinatme

ulukinatme 1764

Posted
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On 7/26/2019 at 11:41 AM, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Yes. I don't know how her husband hasn't either divorced or killed her yet. He's a good guy and I feel terrible for him. He doesn't deserve the shit he's had to put up. No way would I steer him here. He doesn't deserve that, either.

I feel like we're missing out on a bunch of stories though, and this could be therapeutic for him.

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JimmyHoffa

JimmyHoffa 1188

Posted
Posted

On vacation, gave my wife a couple of options for food to look up before deciding on a place. I am driving so she looks them up picks the place and puts the address in her phone for directions. 

Turn on to a street with a ton of restaurants (everything looks fine at this point).

Turn down a street now heading away from all the restaurants..........

Wife- This doesn't look right

Me- thinking- "keep your mouth shut, keep your mouth shut......"

We turn right onto Franklin St.(a residential neighborhood)

"You have arrived at your destination" 

Wife- Oh crap

Me- .......

WIfe- this is taking us to the Franklin St not Franklin's (the restaurant that we were going to) 

Me- ???????????

Wife- I guess I messed up. 

 

Luckily Franklin's was only 5 minutes away from "Franklin St."

 

And yes it's 100% my fault for assuming my wife could enter a address into her phone for directions. 

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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18550

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Cold War Update: My son wanted to hang out with Mary's son yesterday so my wife eventually gave in and called her. She's unblocked now, apparently, and left her a message. Mary called back later in the afternoon as if none of this had ever happened. She then informed my wife that her family booked a beach trip at the same time as ours. Mary has it in her pea brained head that we were all going to hang out for 3 days together on the beach. My wife is like, WTF? That's not happening. How do you go from blocking somebody and going radio silent for two weeks to "we're all going on vacation together" with zero discussion or even acknowledgement of the situation? So insane. 

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Incredulity

Incredulity 11675

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7 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Cold War Update: My son wanted to hang out with Mary's son yesterday so my wife eventually gave in and called her. She's unblocked now, apparently, and left her a message. Mary called back later in the afternoon as if none of this had ever happened. She then informed my wife that her family booked a beach trip at the same time as ours. Mary has it in her pea brained head that we were all going to hang out for 3 days together on the beach. My wife is like, WTF? That's not happening. How do you go from blocking somebody and going radio silent for two weeks to "we're all going on vacation together" with zero discussion or even acknowledgement of the situation? So insane. 

Two X chromosomes

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15346

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11 minutes ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Cold War Update: My son wanted to hang out with Mary's son yesterday so my wife eventually gave in and called her. She's unblocked now, apparently, and left her a message. Mary called back later in the afternoon as if none of this had ever happened. She then informed my wife that her family booked a beach trip at the same time as ours. Mary has it in her pea brained head that we were all going to hang out for 3 days together on the beach. My wife is like, WTF? That's not happening. How do you go from blocking somebody and going radio silent for two weeks to "we're all going on vacation together" with zero discussion or even acknowledgement of the situation? So insane. 

Trying the ol’ “Annexation of Crimea” move, eh?

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JimmyHoffa

JimmyHoffa 1188

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2 hours ago, ABSR said:

.......    is the secret to a successful marriage.

 

Yep, and I knew as soon as we turned into a residential section she had somehow screwed up but the payoff of her figuring that out when I turned and stopped next to some random family's mailbox was worth it. 

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5211

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Cold War Update: My son wanted to hang out with Mary's son yesterday so my wife eventually gave in and called her. She's unblocked now, apparently, and left her a message. Mary called back later in the afternoon as if none of this had ever happened. She then informed my wife that her family booked a beach trip at the same time as ours. Mary has it in her pea brained head that we were all going to hang out for 3 days together on the beach. My wife is like, WTF? That's not happening. How do you go from blocking somebody and going radio silent for two weeks to "we're all going on vacation together" with zero discussion or even acknowledgement of the situation? So insane. 

sorry you're sil is my ex-wife

1 hour ago, JimmyHoffa said:

 

Yep, and I knew as soon as we turned into a residential section she had somehow screwed up but the payoff of her figuring that out when I turned and stopped next to some random family's mailbox was worth it. 

those moments are priceless.  I usually take my hands and put them on my head, followed by heavy sighs for effect.

Deep down I'm just a laughing asshole.

My ex-wife would always say "sorry, sorry" like a wounded beaten dog, current has said "sorry" maybe once since we've been together.

I'm not sure which is better.

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BHMCruiser

BHMCruiser 1814

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Mitch Cumsteen said:

Cold War Update: My son wanted to hang out with Mary's son yesterday so my wife eventually gave in and called her. She's unblocked now, apparently, and left her a message. Mary called back later in the afternoon as if none of this had ever happened. She then informed my wife that her family booked a beach trip at the same time as ours. Mary has it in her pea brained head that we were all going to hang out for 3 days together on the beach. My wife is like, WTF? That's not happening. How do you go from blocking somebody and going radio silent for two weeks to "we're all going on vacation together" with zero discussion or even acknowledgement of the situation? So insane. 

Enjoy your extended family beach vacation.

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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18550

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Posted
1 hour ago, retread said:

Mr. Typhoon Mary is going to need an account on here before it's over... for his sanity.

Sanity? I'm pretty sure she has consumed every ounce of sanity, patience and give a fuck right out of him.

And he's pissed off about the whole thing too. She failed to tell him that we were going to be there at the same time. He knows that whatever it is that my family does, Typhoon Mary is such a weirdo that she's going to throw a fit if her family doesn't get to do it too. If we go fishing, she has to go fishing. If we eat at some restaurant, they have go to the same restaurant. He, like me, just wants to go to the beach and drink a bunch of beer in (relative) peace. I told my wife that we should start making up shit that we are going to do just to see if they will go do it, "Hey Mitch's family is driving into Mexico to share dirty needles with the junkies. We have to go do that too!"

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Nolacycling

Nolacycling 893

Posted
Posted (edited)

Weekend trip. 

"Why don't you bring a light sweater or... because you(wear spaghetti straps  and always complain that you) are cold in my car"

"How cold could it be?"

12 hour drive to El Paso. 

Occasionally ask for some navigation help.

"It doesn't look too far"

Edited by Nolacycling
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Mitch Cumsteen

Mitch Cumsteen 18550

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, mulletpelini said:

Mitch, have you ever talked about MIL?  Cuz there's got to be some stories

In 1996 I went to visit a friend in Colorado. During the trip we came across a six pack of coors with a pull tab on it. I'm not sure what year they stopped making pull tabs but it had to be the late 70s. So conservatively call it 1980, making the beer at a minimum 16 years old at the time. I took one of the cans home with me and kept it in my fridge as a joke. Fast forward to 2005, I'm married with a kid but still have the can of coors in my fridge. MIL comes over to babysit so we can have date night. Next day I open the fridge and notice the beer is gone. We call over to make sure she was OK and apparently drinking a 25+ year old coors won't kill you, but it reportedly doesn't taste very good. 

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