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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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Sandman

Sandman 3403

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On 7/30/2019 at 10:45 AM, HouTex said:

I recall that in the late 70's or early 80's Coors had that stupid pop top that required you to push down on the top of the can with your finger or thumb in two different spots where the opening was attached to the lid.  If you did it correctly the opening piece of aluminum would be pushed into the can but the top would stay attached to the lid--thus helping control litter.  The problem was that people were cutting the hell out of their fingers/thumbs on the edge of the opening so they had to go back to the pull tabs until something like the current lever system was adopted.  

Coors talk not going away:

I remember when we left California in 1980 to visit my dad's family in Indiana, my uncle begged my dad to bring some Coors back for him, as you couldn't get it in Indiana at the time. I believe because it wasn't pasteurized, but I was a kid so I have no idea. 

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McCroskey
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Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
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thunderlounge

thunderlounge 7849

Posted
Posted
6 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Coors talk not going away:

I remember when we left California in 1980 to visit my dad's family in Indiana, my uncle begged my dad to bring some Coors back for him, as you couldn't get it in Indiana at the time. I believe because it wasn't pasteurized, but I was a kid so I have no idea. 

 

Didn’t he known that truckin coors beer east of Texas was bootleggin?

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18829

Posted
Posted
35 minutes ago, Sandman said:

Coors talk not going away:

I remember when we left California in 1980 to visit my dad's family in Indiana, my uncle begged my dad to bring some Coors back for him, as you couldn't get it in Indiana at the time. I believe because it wasn't pasteurized, but I was a kid so I have no idea. 

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Buzzrock

Buzzrock 14921

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Posted

The endless back patting that the wives give each other is amazing. My wife wrenched her back a few days ago when we were moving a piece of furniture. She’s been on the couch since while I moved and assembled the rest of the furniture myself, cooked, watched the kids, etc. Today a bunch of cookies were delivered from one of her friends and the card said “Get well soon, stop being super mom and take a break.”

She spent all afternoon today drinking at the pool with her girlfriends. In her new back brace.

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blacklab

blacklab 11939

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Flew on a direct flight from austin to San Francisco. While waiting to deplane the lady behind us asks us if we know what luggage carousel to use. Wife replies she doesn’t know and then asks her if she lives in the Bay Area. 

Lady replies that no, she’s from austin. Wife lights up and says “wow we live in austin too!”

me “honey, we are on a flight from austin, chances are there are some people on the plane from austin”

tone 

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

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Posted
Flew on a direct flight from austin to San Francisco. While waiting to deplane the lady behind us asks us if we know what luggage carousel to use. Wife replies she doesn’t know and then asks her if she lives in the Bay Area. 
Lady replies that no, she’s from austin. Wife lights up and says “wow we live in austin too!”
me “honey, we are on a flight from austin, chances are there are some people on the plane from austin”
tone 
The endless back patting that the wives give each other is amazing. My wife wrenched her back a few days ago when we were moving a piece of furniture. She’s been on the couch since while I moved and assembled the rest of the furniture myself, cooked, watched the kids, etc. Today a bunch of cookies were delivered from one of her friends and the card said “Get well soon, stop being super mom and take a break.”

She spent all afternoon today drinking at the pool with her girlfriends. In her new back brace.
The best stories are the ones halfway through you know exactly how it ends.

Hilarious contributions
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Jerry Callo

Jerry Callo 8704

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6 hours ago, blacklab said:

Flew on a direct flight from austin to San Francisco. While waiting to deplane the lady behind us asks us if we know what luggage carousel to use. Wife replies she doesn’t know and then asks her if she lives in the Bay Area. 

Lady replies that no, she’s from austin. Wife lights up and says “wow we live in austin too!”

me “honey, we are on a flight from austin, chances are there are some people on the plane from austin”

tone 

My wife is always mentioning what a small world it is.  Born and raised in Austin, school in Austin, lives and works in Austin - running into someone you know in Austin does not make it a small world.

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SHOOTER12

SHOOTER12 8810

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18 hours ago, blacklab said:

Flew on a direct flight from austin to San Francisco. While waiting to deplane the lady behind us asks us if we know what luggage carousel to use. Wife replies she doesn’t know and then asks her if she lives in the Bay Area. 

Lady replies that no, she’s from austin. Wife lights up and says “wow we live in austin too!”

me “honey, we are on a flight from austin, chances are there are some people on the plane from austin”

tone 

Yep ole Rosie Palmer is going to be a good friend for a few days.

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markstanco

markstanco 12577

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Posted

Been at disney since sunday. Wife planned the entire trip, I am along for the ride and human wallet.

Disclaimer: I should have got the disney app. My fault, I get it.

So we hit a few rides sunday and go to lodge. Wash, rinse, repeat for a few days. Each park we go to she says grab a map. We are reading this font in size .5, no reading glasses trying to find rides in this massive park while it is 182 degrees. I ask her if they have an interactive map in the app, she says no it isnt working on monday.

TODAY, our last day, I grab her phone to see why it wasn't working.

Location services off.

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17558

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On 7/31/2019 at 9:58 PM, Buzzrock said:

The endless back patting that the wives give each other is amazing. My wife wrenched her back a few days ago when we were moving a piece of furniture. She’s been on the couch since while I moved and assembled the rest of the furniture myself, cooked, watched the kids, etc. Today a bunch of cookies were delivered from one of her friends and the card said “Get well soon, stop being super mom and take a break.”

She spent all afternoon today drinking at the pool with her girlfriends. In her new back brace.

Haven't you heard?  Being a mom is a cross between being a coal miner, decathlete and saint.

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Grade of D as in David

Grade of D as in David 13253

Posted
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On 7/30/2019 at 9:18 PM, rage-a-holic said:

Are you moving to Portugal or Brazil? If not, why does it matter if your kids speak a language that doesn't do them any good in Texas?

 

Lots of the top bullriders on the PBR are Brazilian. So there's a chance either the kid turns out to be a bullrider or a chap chaser.

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Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18829

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Posted (edited)

my son's school posted some pictures from the football camp they just had for the middle schoolers and I jokingly said one kid looked like one of my son's friends who is 3 grades older than those kids and doesn't play football.  

her- "but that's not him"

me-

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Edited by Dennis Taylor
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CycleTex87

CycleTex87 2970

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This may or may not qualify for the thread. We bought a new computer to replace our 10 yr old desktop that barely functions.  We have 20 years of digital pix of the kids, vacations, family members that have passed on, holidays - normal stuff.  

Her - we don’t need all those pictures, we need to sort and clean them out. 

When I get a free terabyte of cloud storage with the Office subscription, never mind the 2 TB hard drive on the new unit. 

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15346

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51 minutes ago, CycleTex87 said:

This may or may not qualify for the thread. We bought a new computer to replace our 10 yr old desktop that barely functions.  We have 20 years of digital pix of the kids, vacations, family members that have passed on, holidays - normal stuff.  

Her - we don’t need all those pictures, we need to sort and clean them out. 

When I get a free terabyte of cloud storage with the Office subscription, never mind the 2 TB hard drive on the new unit. 

You could get a free month to yourself if you asked her to look through them and pick which ones she wanted to save.  

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

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2 hours ago, Enchubben said:

Wife backed into the neighbors truck yesterday. She couldn’t believe he had the audacity to park his car on the street (he was power washing his driveway).

She claimed there was someone else on the street waiting for her to pull out so she was nervous. 

Kinky

1 hour ago, CycleTex87 said:

This may or may not qualify for the thread. We bought a new computer to replace our 10 yr old desktop that barely functions.  We have 20 years of digital pix of the kids, vacations, family members that have passed on, holidays - normal stuff.  

Her - we don’t need all those pictures, we need to sort and clean them out. 

When I get a free terabyte of cloud storage with the Office subscription, never mind the 2 TB hard drive on the new unit. 

can't be wasting cloud space on those dead people. they arent going to know anyways

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Druggist

Druggist 303

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We went camping with another family and my friend’s wife loaded their new Yeti with food and drinks.  When we got there, she discovered that she should have added ice if she wanted everything cold.  She thought the cold was included in the price.

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Wiler77

Wiler77 1566

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13 minutes ago, Druggist said:

We went camping with another family and my friend’s wife loaded their new Yeti with food and drinks.  When we got there, she discovered that she should have added ice if she wanted everything cold.  She thought the cold was included in the price.

"Alright, who wants an 80 degree beer to wash down their salmonella taco?"

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gernblansten

gernblansten 3197

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30 minutes ago, Druggist said:

We went camping with another family and my friend’s wife loaded their new Yeti with food and drinks.  When we got there, she discovered that she should have added ice if she wanted everything cold.  She thought the cold was included in the price.

"Hey hubby, this stupid cooler you bought doesn't even work!"

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17558

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35 minutes ago, Druggist said:

We went camping with another family and my friend’s wife loaded their new Yeti with food and drinks.  When we got there, she discovered that she should have added ice if she wanted everything cold.  She thought the cold was included in the price.

Oh, god, that is fantastic.

Please continue the story with how it became her husband's fault.

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