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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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Trey3216

Trey3216 15357

Posted
Posted
8 minutes ago, KYHorn said:

My wife was just reading news articles and turned to me and asked "What's wonton endangerment?" After laughing uncontrollably for a couple minutes, I managed a straight face and said "it's these damn tariffs, they're causing a shortage of Chinese food."

The Wanton Song.   Zepp approved 

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Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

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deadshank

deadshank 24653

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Posted

(Cross posted from Amazon wildfires thread)

My wife was in a panic over this.  

Seems she ordered some dog chew toys from Amazon and then saw the news crawl stating the Amazon was burning and she desperately states she hoped the chew toys shipped out prior to Amazon catching on fire.  

True story.  

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5216

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, deadshank said:

(Cross posted from Amazon wildfires thread)

My wife was in a panic over this.  

Seems she ordered some dog chew toys from Amazon and then saw the news crawl stating the Amazon was burning and she desperately states she hoped the chew toys shipped out prior to Amazon catching on fire.  

True story.  

I'm gonna guess she was not the only one.  Excellent entry though.

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ztejas

ztejas 43538

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, Buzzrock said:

“My laptop is so slow.”

7c02ed39806102869b30362d9fb7c6ca.jpg

Lady I worked with was the undisputed queen of this. Never less than 15 tabs open at a time. I almost tore my hair out every time I'd have to walk her through something. 

Most women understand computers about as well as I understand women. 

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ShaggyBevo RIP

ShaggyBevo RIP 3868

Posted
Posted
5 hours ago, WhatTheBuck said:

Is it just me or does the quilt in the second pic bear little resemblance to the quilt in the first pic?

Reversible.  13 year old has it.

https://www.target.com/p/harry-potter-full-queen-quilt-3pc-set-gray/-/A-53267132?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=bing_pla_df&CPNG=PLA_Bedding%2BShopping&adgroup=SC_Bedding&LID=700000001230728pbs&network=s&device=c&querystring=harry potter quilt&msclkid=575968d0490f1b1cd24135b1ec640bee&gclid=CJW957mznOQCFcvrDQodMeQMzg&gclsrc=ds

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elfenix

elfenix 34332

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Posted (edited)

i regularly keep like 50 tabs open between chrome and firefox and don't experience these computer slowdowns.  browsers and operating systems automatically unload unused tabs from main memory when the memory gets needed by something.  y'all probably just have slow computers.

Edited by elfenix
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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17601

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, deadshank said:

(Cross posted from Amazon wildfires thread)

My wife was in a panic over this.  

Seems she ordered some dog chew toys from Amazon and then saw the news crawl stating the Amazon was burning and she desperately states she hoped the chew toys shipped out prior to Amazon catching on fire.  

True story.  

Holy shit.  That's awesome. 

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Buzzrock

Buzzrock 14942

Posted
Posted
i regularly keep like 50 tabs open between chrome and firefox and don't experience these computer slowdowns.  browsers and operating systems automatically unload unused tabs from main memory when the memory gets needed by something.  y'all probably just have slow computers.


I’m guessing you don’t have a Mac, or if you do you don’t run Chrome on it.
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blacklab

blacklab 11952

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Posted

wife comes home from party. 

Asks if there is a restaurant or bar or something named Tito's? I met a guy named Tito at the party, talked to him for over an hour.

me: there's a vodka named Tito's.

her: no, not vodka, he owns a distillery or something.

me: a distillery is where they make vodka.

her: oh, that's why all the cups and bottles at the party said Tito's on them, I thought tito's was a restaurant or something

we have a bottle of Tito's in our bar. My wife has poured Tito's into her glass multiple times. Last week when we were in Tahoe I pointed our a Tito's billboard saying it's made in Austin.

 

 

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17601

Posted
Posted
16 minutes ago, blacklab said:

wife comes home from party. 

Asks if there is a restaurant or bar or something named Tito's? I met a guy named Tito at the party, talked to him for over an hour.

me: there's a vodka named Tito's.

her: no, not vodka, he owns a distillery or something.

me: a distillery is where they make vodka.

her: oh, that's why all the cups and bottles at the party said Tito's on them, I thought tito's was a restaurant or something

we have a bottle of Tito's in our bar. My wife has poured Tito's into her glass multiple times. Last week when we were in Tahoe I pointed our a Tito's billboard saying it's made in Austin.

 

 

Just because you have to listen to her doesn't mean she's going to listen to you.

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Trey3216

Trey3216 15357

Posted
Posted (edited)
8 hours ago, blacklab said:

wife comes home from party. 

Asks if there is a restaurant or bar or something named Tito's? I met a guy named Tito at the party, talked to him for over an hour.

me: there's a vodka named Tito's.

her: no, not vodka, he owns a distillery or something.

me: a distillery is where they make vodka.

her: oh, that's why all the cups and bottles at the party said Tito's on them, I thought tito's was a restaurant or something

we have a bottle of Tito's in our bar. My wife has poured Tito's into her glass multiple times. Last week when we were in Tahoe I pointed our a Tito's billboard saying it's made in Austin.

 

 

9 months from today:

spacer.png

 

Edited by Trey3216
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MrPhlegm

MrPhlegm 3413

Posted
Posted

Oh lord, my kids are moving. They have a lot of stuff. Got a uhaul truck. Told my kid to get the 26ft monster. His wife told him they could save money by getting the 20 ft one. Uhaul charges the same price for both trucks. And now all their stuff aint gonna fit. Massive eye rolling.

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EE2B

EE2B 1565

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Posted

Well pump stopped working this afternoon. I spent an hour or so thinking it was the pressure switch. Finally realized it was the capacitor. Got it fixed and told my wife I had to replace it.

Her response: You had to replace the whole capacitor?

Me: I didn’t find any halves so I had to buy the whole.

 

Sometimes I wonder....

 

 

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Mo Horn

Mo Horn 8855

Posted
Posted
2 hours ago, EE2B said:

Well pump stopped working this afternoon. I spent an hour or so thinking it was the pressure switch. Finally realized it was the capacitor. Got it fixed and told my wife I had to replace it.

Her response: You had to replace the whole capacitor?

Me: I didn’t find any halves so I had to buy the whole.

 

Sometimes I wonder....

 

 

b8dbcf49-49ab-4fde-9ed0-e49738989edb_1.5

Tell her this is what you needed to buy. 

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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11821

Posted
Posted
14 hours ago, EE2B said:

Well pump stopped working this afternoon. I spent an hour or so thinking it was the pressure switch. Finally realized it was the capacitor. Got it fixed and told my wife I had to replace it.

Her response: You had to replace the whole capacitor?

Me: I didn’t find any halves so I had to buy the whole.

 

Sometimes I wonder....

 

 

Been having issues with mine, I have to give it a good slap to get it to work.   The pressure switch, not the wife.  

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EE2B

EE2B 1565

Posted
Posted
Been having issues with mine, I have to give it a good slap to get it to work.   The pressure switch, not the wife.  

I tried that and tried filing down the contacts, but that didn’t work. That’s when I realized the capacitor was the issue. I need to get a multimeter for the house.
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Judge Roybeanbag

Judge Roybeanbag 11821

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, EE2B said:


I tried that and tried filing down the contacts, but that didn’t work. That’s when I realized the capacitor was the issue. I need to get a multimeter for the house.

Yes, my multimeter is always at whichever house I'm not working on.  I think the issue with mine is sediment built up in the nipple.  Probably just replace it since the pressure gauge doesn't work either.  And yeah, Pato, I might try slapping my wife's box tonight.  I'll let you know how that goes. 😁

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