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Posted

I started the toaster oven to make nuggets for the kids. I should have noticed before o started the oven but when the smell hit me I realized my wife had stacked styrofoam plates on top of the toaster oven where it reads “hot surface”. Now I have melted remnants of styrofoam plates on my toaster oven.

Posted
2 minutes ago, GottaB said:

I started the toaster oven to make nuggets for the kids. I should have noticed before o started the oven but when the smell hit me I realized my wife had stacked styrofoam plates on top of the toaster oven where it reads “hot surface”. Now I have melted remnants of styrofoam plates on my toaster oven.

Belongs in the stupid shit husbands do thread.

  • Like 1
Posted

I’m fascinated a group of women a thousand miles away from where this event was occurring make and wear these as if they were there. Did they dress up? I really am fascinated at the effort.

Posted
23 hours ago, skipperj said:

7f110edc99fa8e9825e0fdb0add02985.jpg

Holy Jesus. I have no fewer than 30 people staring at me in the Pittsburgh airport because I'm howling with laughter at that.  

I'm dead. Literal tears.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Pato del Muerto said:

No different to me than dressing up with big hat and sipping mint julips while watching the Kentucky derby from home. 

Or putting on a sports jersey and watching a game being played hours or continents away.

Edited by ABSR
Posted

To be fair, it was an an oval cardboard cutout, not a paper plate. A friend of hers used a plastic cup in the construction of her hat. Pretty sure they watched some Tasty like FB video for wedding hats.

Posted
"I couldn't remember if I was supposed to put foil under the bacon."8102df73719a6f9e3fb1a9fa1a1fc316.jpg

 

Nailed it. My wife remembers the foil but burns the bacon, just because.

Posted

Your wife should never assist you in running heavy equipment.  Attached a 12" auger to the 3-point.  She assisted in lowering the attachment while I guided it on the ground.  She slammed it down, bit got caught (heavy clay), PTO on auger fried.  

Posted
1 hour ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Your wife should never assist you in running heavy equipment.  Attached a 12" auger to the 3-point.  She assisted in lowering the attachment while I guided it on the ground.  She slammed it down, bit got caught (heavy clay), PTO on auger fried.  

Entirely on you, bubba. Seems to me like you should stick to laundry. 

Posted
in her defense...that pan is probably due to be pitched since its been serving you since 1982
She got them as a gift about a year ago. The handles are supposed to be oven-proof, which doesn't help when you leave them on the stovetop next to a lit gas burner.
Posted

Married guys. How many red flags are you okay with before being in a serious relationship with a woman/girl? I recently met this gorgeous girl but she is not my type. Lust is stirring me in her direction. She is only 22 but is still in community college. The red flags. She smokes weed every day. She still calls her mom "mommy". She is very insecure. She has multiple tattoos and piercings. She likes to sleep a lot. She was willing to hang out even though she had a boyfriend. But dam, she is very beautiful.

Posted
19 minutes ago, d.plainview872 said:

Married guys. How many red flags are you okay with before being in a serious relationship with a woman/girl? I recently met this gorgeous girl but she is not my type. Lust is stirring me in her direction. She is only 22 but is still in community college. The red flags. She smokes weed every day. She still calls her mom "mommy". She is very insecure. She has multiple tattoos and piercings. She likes to sleep a lot. She was willing to hang out even though she had a boyfriend. But dam, she is very beautiful.

Let her eat your pussy and get back to us.

  • Like 2
  • Haha 3
Posted
2 hours ago, d.plainview872 said:

Married guys. How many red flags are you okay with before being in a serious relationship with a woman/girl? I recently met this gorgeous girl but she is not my type. Lust is stirring me in her direction. She is only 22 but is still in community college. The red flags. She smokes weed every day. She still calls her mom "mommy". She is very insecure. She has multiple tattoos and piercings. She likes to sleep a lot. She was willing to hang out even though she had a boyfriend. But dam, she is very beautiful.

Hit it and quit it.

Posted
5 hours ago, d.plainview872 said:

Married guys. How many red flags are you okay with before being in a serious relationship with a woman/girl? I recently met this gorgeous girl but she is not my type. Lust is stirring me in her direction. She is only 22 but is still in community college. The red flags. She smokes weed every day. She still calls her mom "mommy". She is very insecure. She has multiple tattoos and piercings. She likes to sleep a lot. She was willing to hang out even though she had a boyfriend. But dam, she is very beautiful.

If you have to come online and ask the question, you already know the answer. That is a clear rental.

Posted
10 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Your wife should never assist you in running heavy equipment.  Attached a 12" auger to the 3-point.  She assisted in lowering the attachment while I guided it on the ground.  She slammed it down, bit got caught (heavy clay), PTO on auger fried.  

Your lucky she didn't RIP your arm off by doing woman operates a tractor things.

Posted
Married guys. How many red flags are you okay with before being in a serious relationship with a woman/girl? I recently met this gorgeous girl but she is not my type. Lust is stirring me in her direction. She is only 22 but is still in community college. The red flags. She smokes weed every day. She still calls her mom "mommy". She is very insecure. She has multiple tattoos and piercings. She likes to sleep a lot. She was willing to hang out even though she had a boyfriend. But dam, she is very beautiful.
Bedouin, whatever choice you make with this huge decision, I'm sure it'll be the correct one
  • Like 1
Posted
12 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Your wife should never assist you in running heavy equipment.  Attached a 12" auger to the 3-point.  She assisted in lowering the attachment while I guided it on the ground.  She slammed it down, bit got caught (heavy clay), PTO on auger fried.  

ernest_t_bass' idea of a "low key night out":

?format=750w

Posted
21 hours ago, Modessit said:

"I couldn't remember if I was supposed to put foil under the bacon."8102df73719a6f9e3fb1a9fa1a1fc316.jpg

 

Fuck the foil, did you call the police because she fucking murdered that bacon?

Posted

Mrs. Hoffa- Do you want to buy one of these to replace the one we have? 

Me- no, the one we have is fine

Mrs. Hoffa- proceeds to give me 47 reasons why we need to buy a replacement

Me- Why did you ask me then?

 

Happens far too often...............

  • Like 3
Posted
12 hours ago, ernest_t_bass said:

Your wife should never assist you in running heavy equipment.  Attached a 12" auger to the 3-point.  She assisted in lowering the attachment while I guided it on the ground.  She slammed it down, bit got caught (heavy clay), PTO on auger fried.  

I thought you got divorced? who's the guy in Galveston that hated his wife?

Posted
On 5/19/2018 at 9:04 AM, HouTex said:

I've never understood American's fascination with British royalty. 

Because it beats the idiots we elect.

  • Like 1
Posted
21 minutes ago, Llogg said:

I thought you got divorced? who's the guy in Galveston that hated his wife?

That was/is Dewey

Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, NotActuallyALonghorn said:

Your lucky she didn't RIP your arm off by doing woman operates a tractor things.

Holy Shit, I would NEVER have my wife operate my tractor - she can barely operate her car.

Id get one of the kids before Id ask her for help - at least the kids can take direction and follow instructions.

Edited by Brewin’1up
Posted

My wife decided flush leftovers down the toilet instead of just throwing them in the trash.  Now the toilet is stopped up and I can't fix it.  We will have to call a plumber.  I asked why she did that abd her reasoning was that the leftovers stunk so she didn't want them in the trash.

  • Like 7
  • Haha 2
Posted
8 hours ago, d.plainview872 said:

Married guys. How many red flags are you okay with before being in a serious relationship with a woman/girl? I recently met this gorgeous girl but she is not my type. Lust is stirring me in her direction. She is only 22 but is still in community college. The red flags. She smokes weed every day. She still calls her mom "mommy". She is very insecure. She has multiple tattoos and piercings. She likes to sleep a lot. She was willing to hang out even though she had a boyfriend. But dam, she is very beautiful.

Connection here?

Posted
5 minutes ago, txhorns said:

My wife decided flush leftovers down the toilet instead of just throwing them in the trash.  Now the toilet is stopped up and I can't fix it.  We will have to call a plumber.  I asked why she did that abd her reasoning was that the leftovers stunk so she didn't want them in the trash.

Wow.  That is some topline stupidity.

Posted
13 minutes ago, txhorns said:

My wife decided flush leftovers down the toilet instead of just throwing them in the trash.  Now the toilet is stopped up and I can't fix it.  We will have to call a plumber.  I asked why she did that abd her reasoning was that the leftovers stunk so she didn't want them in the trash.

Has she heard of this thing called bleach?  It helps smelly trash cans

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