Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 22.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

Posted Images

crimsonlonghorn

crimsonlonghorn 2306

Posted
Posted
On 11/23/2019 at 12:09 AM, Sam Lin said:

Well, it isn't safe to open the radiator cap, so what was she supposed to do?? Tone.

When I was high school almost 30 years ago and broke (and stupid), I had an old Chevy 454 pickup with a bad water pump. It would overheat and the engine would also get hot and I'd have to find a garden hose or bucket and pour water on the pump to get it to cool it off and work properly again and cool off the engine. Usually worked very quick and simple, even if I had to occasionally knock on a stranger's door and ask to use their garden hose. (This was 1991-92 - people were cool about this stuff back then)

Once my dumbass decided I was going to drive my buddies and me 100 miles out of town to go dove hunting one day. Worked fine going out but coming back about 30 miles from home the engine started overheating and I knew I'd damage it worse if I didn't cool off the water pump. We didn't have any water in the car so we did the logical thing and opened the hood at the side of the road and all pissed on the water pump. 

Lucky no cops drove by. Also lucky we were all dudes, I guess. Would have been much harder to pull off a squat over a hot engine like that. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Armybrat

Armybrat 40851

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

When I was high school almost 30 years ago and broke (and stupid), I had an old Chevy 454 pickup with a bad water pump. It would overheat and the engine would also get hot and I'd have to find a garden hose or bucket and pour water on the pump to get it to cool it off and work properly again and cool off the engine. Usually worked very quick and simple, even if I had to occasionally knock on a stranger's door and ask to use their garden hose. (This was 1991-92 - people were cool about this stuff back then)

Once my dumbass decided I was going to drive my buddies and me 100 miles out of town to go dove hunting one day. Worked fine going out but coming back about 30 miles from home the engine started overheating and I knew I'd damage it worse if I didn't cool off the water pump. We didn't have any water in the car so we did the logical thing and opened the hood at the side of the road and all pissed on the water pump. 

Lucky no cops drove by. Also lucky we were all dudes, I guess. Would have been much harder to pull off a squat over a hot engine like that. 

In 1965 the wood floorboard under the drivers seat of my 1960 MGA roadster caught fire (exhaust pipe jammed up against it after running over a tire). No water available but fortunately I & my gf had been at a kegger, so it got put out Gulliver style after popping the seat up. Never could get all the smell out though. Gf enjoyed the spectacle.

Edited by Armybrat
Link to comment
Share on other sites
NotActuallyALonghorn

NotActuallyALonghorn 4976

Posted
Posted

Down stairs is kinda like a halfway basement type thing because our house is on a hill leading down to the lake. We don't really go down there for much, so it was a centipede graveyard until recently. 3yo wanted a bubble bath and the upstairs only has a shower, so the bath mat had to come out along with all the dead bugs it was harboring. And yes the color is terrible. And the shower head is like chest height. Everything about the bathroom is bad. It wasn't exactly next on the list for remodeling,  but I guess it is now.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
nnm

nnm 36470

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

Mrs. NNM decided a pre-Thanksgiving cleaning of the oven was in order.  So she used the self-cleaning function, which basically just superheats the oven for 5 hours, incinerating anything in it.

Well, she forgot that she had a silicone oven liner on the bottom of the top oven.  Basically, a little shelf on the bottom to catch drips, crumbs, etc.  When you superheat a silicone oven liner, you incinerate it, and the particles get plastered all over the sides, top, bottom, and door of the oven, and get sucked into the convection and fan system.  Making the oven unusable forevermore.  And because it's a dual oven setup, both are now trash.

And these are not old ovens.  We built the house 3 years ago.  And upgraded the appliances.  

So now we're looking at about 5k to replace perfectly good, upgraded ovens.  A day before Thanksgiving.

  • Like 27
  • Haha 8
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jerry Callo

Jerry Callo 8704

Posted
Posted
31 minutes ago, nnm said:

Mrs. NNM decided a pre-Thanksgiving cleaning of the oven was in order.  So she used the self-cleaning function, which basically just superheats the oven for 5 hours, incinerating anything in it.

Well, she forgot that she had a silicone oven liner on the bottom of the top oven.  Basically, a little shelf on the bottom to catch drips, crumbs, etc.  When you superheat a silicone oven liner, you incinerate it, and the particles get plastered all over the sides, top, bottom, and door of the oven, and get sucked into the convection and fan system.  Making the oven unusable forevermore.  And because it's a dual oven setup, both are now trash.

And these are not old ovens.  We built the house 3 years ago.  And upgraded the appliances.  

So now we're looking at about 5k to replace perfectly good, upgraded ovens.  A day before Thanksgiving.

Holy shit.  Your wife cleans the oven?

  • Like 2
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 36470

Posted
Posted
12 minutes ago, Cheeseweasel said:

Is this that fancy Sous Vide I keep hearing about?

Mrs. NNM got all excited about those things about 5 years ago when we did a cooking class. And bought one. Which sits in its original packaging, seal unbroken, on the top back shelf of the pantry. Where it has sat since the day it was delivered. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
AUS-97HORN

AUS-97HORN 11809

Posted
Posted
9 minutes ago, nnm said:

Mrs. NNM got all excited about those things about 5 years ago when we did a cooking class. And bought one. Which sits in its original packaging, seal unbroken, on the top back shelf of the pantry. Where it has sat since the day it was delivered. 

correct me if I am wrong here, but this seems like an opportunity to sous vide several turkey breasts 

what with the whole "we aint got no fucking ovens" shit you have going on right now.

  • Like 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17568

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, nnm said:

Mrs. NNM decided a pre-Thanksgiving cleaning of the oven was in order.  So she used the self-cleaning function, which basically just superheats the oven for 5 hours, incinerating anything in it.

Well, she forgot that she had a silicone oven liner on the bottom of the top oven.  Basically, a little shelf on the bottom to catch drips, crumbs, etc.  When you superheat a silicone oven liner, you incinerate it, and the particles get plastered all over the sides, top, bottom, and door of the oven, and get sucked into the convection and fan system.  Making the oven unusable forevermore.  And because it's a dual oven setup, both are now trash.

And these are not old ovens.  We built the house 3 years ago.  And upgraded the appliances.  

So now we're looking at about 5k to replace perfectly good, upgraded ovens.  A day before Thanksgiving.

THIS is how you get in line with the spirit of the thread.

 

2 hours ago, NeverMarryAStripper said:

I laughed.  Then I remembered last week when I put the plastic steamer basket in a pot on the stove to steam some vegetables and forgot to add water.

And this is doing it wrong.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8817

Posted
Posted
Mrs. NNM decided a pre-Thanksgiving cleaning of the oven was in order.  So she used the self-cleaning function, which basically just superheats the oven for 5 hours, incinerating anything in it.
Well, she forgot that she had a silicone oven liner on the bottom of the top oven.  Basically, a little shelf on the bottom to catch drips, crumbs, etc.  When you superheat a silicone oven liner, you incinerate it, and the particles get plastered all over the sides, top, bottom, and door of the oven, and get sucked into the convection and fan system.  Making the oven unusable forevermore.  And because it's a dual oven setup, both are now trash.
And these are not old ovens.  We built the house 3 years ago.  And upgraded the appliances.  
So now we're looking at about 5k to replace perfectly good, upgraded ovens.  A day before Thanksgiving.
What timing! Black Friday starts in 3 days!!
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17568

Posted
Posted
15 minutes ago, MNLonghornFUKM said:
4 hours ago, nnm said:
Mrs. NNM decided a pre-Thanksgiving cleaning of the oven was in order.  So she used the self-cleaning function, which basically just superheats the oven for 5 hours, incinerating anything in it.
Well, she forgot that she had a silicone oven liner on the bottom of the top oven.  Basically, a little shelf on the bottom to catch drips, crumbs, etc.  When you superheat a silicone oven liner, you incinerate it, and the particles get plastered all over the sides, top, bottom, and door of the oven, and get sucked into the convection and fan system.  Making the oven unusable forevermore.  And because it's a dual oven setup, both are now trash.
And these are not old ovens.  We built the house 3 years ago.  And upgraded the appliances.  
So now we're looking at about 5k to replace perfectly good, upgraded ovens.  A day before Thanksgiving.

Read more  

What timing! Black Friday starts in 3 days!!

Black Friday IS in 3 days.  Black Friday started weeks ago.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
OrangEngr

OrangEngr 1035

Posted
Posted

I was on the phone with my wife today discussing thanksgiving plans. We also throw a Christmas party every year, but because of the calendar, we have one less weekend between t-day and then vs normal. I was trying to negotiate not having to put up the stupid lighted garland around our dining room that always must be done but only I am capable of doing as unnecessary, but was told it is a “statement decoration”. Fortunately she couldn’t hear my eye roll through the phone.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
WhatTheBuck

WhatTheBuck 28788

Posted
Posted
29 minutes ago, OrangEngr said:

I was on the phone with my wife today discussing thanksgiving plans. We also throw a Christmas party every year, but because of the calendar, we have one less weekend between t-day and then vs normal. I was trying to negotiate not having to put up the stupid lighted garland around our dining room that always must be done but only I am capable of doing as unnecessary, but was told it is a “statement decoration”. Fortunately she couldn’t hear my eye roll through the phone.

You're quite the storyteller. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...