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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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Fudbelty

Fudbelty 2788

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“I swear these cookies are taking forever to cook!”
”that’s because you preheated the bottom oven, and put the cookies in the top oven...”


First world problems.

Way back when my wife and started dating she had come over to cook me dinner. Well she went to pre heat the oven and I asked which way she turned the knob. She said whichever way you’re supposed to. Well I told her if you turn it that way then it actually becomes an ice maker.

She went back turned it off then back on the opposite direction.
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Enchubben

Enchubben 5510

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On 12/18/2019 at 10:48 PM, Not that Bob said:

What ever needs to be done in the kitchen, she uses the semi nice paring knife. Cut fruit, paring knife. Fine. Cut slice of bread, paring knife...uh...not so fine. Spread butter on the bread, paring knife. Urgh! I finally asked why she uses a knife that has to be hand washed and sharpened rather than using the appropriate utensil. Answer...tone. 

Opening a billion boxes from amazon, pairing knife.  Yet, the box cutter goes unused in the utility drawer.

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Enchubben

Enchubben 5510

Posted
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On 12/18/2019 at 10:48 PM, Not that Bob said:

What ever needs to be done in the kitchen, she uses the semi nice paring knife. Cut fruit, paring knife. Fine. Cut slice of bread, paring knife...uh...not so fine. Spread butter on the bread, paring knife. Urgh! I finally asked why she uses a knife that has to be hand washed and sharpened rather than using the appropriate utensil. Answer...tone. 

Opening a billion boxes from amazon, pairing knife.  Yet, the box cutter goes unused in the utility drawer.

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workswithseed

workswithseed 2101

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1 hour ago, Fudbelty said:

 


First world problems.

Way back when my wife and started dating she had come over to cook me dinner. Well she went to pre heat the oven and I asked which way she turned the knob. She said whichever way you’re supposed to. Well I told her if you turn it that way then it actually becomes an ice maker.

She went back turned it off then back on the opposite direction.

 

Wait, what?

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NWBuck

NWBuck 8552

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2 hours ago, Enchubben said:

Opening a billion boxes from amazon, pairing knife.  Yet, the box cutter goes unused in the utility drawer.

 

2 hours ago, Enchubben said:

Opening a billion boxes from amazon, pairing knife.  Yet, the box cutter goes unused in the utility drawer.

Pair of posts, pairing knife. Makes sense. 

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ROFL BOX

ROFL BOX 6649

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Wife, every year: "No, I don't EVER want to go visit your family for Thanksgiving - it's the heaviest time of the year for travel... literally EVERYONE is on the road!".

Me: "Well, if that was true then when "they" got to wherever they were going, nobody would be there because that person was ALSO traveling to visit someone else."
Her: ...tone...

Sent from my SM-G950U1 using Tapatalk

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5210

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12 hours ago, ROFL BOX said:

Wife, every year: "No, I don't EVER want to go visit your family for Thanksgiving - it's the heaviest time of the year for travel... literally EVERYONE is on the road!".

Me: "Well, if that was true then when "they" got to wherever they were going, nobody would be there because that person was ALSO traveling to visit someone else."
Her: giphy.gif

 

fify

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ruitxn

ruitxn 296

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My house is setback about 200 yards off of a low traveled paved county road.  The only access is our private gravel road that t-bones the county road with nothing but pasture on all sides.  Today I chuckled when she drove up our road.  Stopped before turning.  Turned on her right blinker and turned.  I guess she didn’t want to confuse me in case I was behind her on my riding lawn mower.

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NYTransplant

NYTransplant 145

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On 12/21/2019 at 10:46 PM, ruitxn said:

My house is setback about 200 yards off of a low traveled paved county road.  The only access is our private gravel road that t-bones the county road with nothing but pasture on all sides.  Today I chuckled when she drove up our road.  Stopped before turning.  Turned on her right blinker and turned.  I guess she didn’t want to confuse me in case I was behind her on my riding lawn mower.

Nice humble brag about your wife knowing where the blinker is.

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Larry T. Spider

Larry T. Spider 1746

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On 11/13/2019 at 1:04 PM, Beau Vine said:

Wife noticed this morning that we have forgotten to run the dishwasher two nights in a row.

Me: "Fine, just start it now."

Her: "But we're about to go to work."

Me: "So, the dishwasher doesn't need us here to run."
 

Her: "But what if it leaks?"

Me: "We've run this dishwasher 100 times and it has never leaked.  Why would you assume it's going to leak now?"

Her: "You of all people who is an expert in probability should realize that the past doesn't predict the future!" (Yes, I swear she said that.)

Me: "Why the hell do you do this kind of shit where you conjure up horrible outcomes and use them to base your decision on?" (I actually know the answer to that -- it's because her mother does the exact same thing.)

Her: "Are you telling me that there's no chance the dishwater is going to leak?"

Me: "Well, there's also a chance this refrigerator is going to explode, so I guess we should unplug it every time we leave the house?"

Her: "Now you're just being ridiculous."

 

Just now catching up on this thread. My wife also will never run the dishwasher unless somebody is home and awake. I can’t even get her to run it after dinner some nights because “it won’t be finished by the time we go to bed”.

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mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5210

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Posted (edited)

I'm actually ok with that, clotheswasher too.  If something goes shitty, I'd rather someone be there to respond to it then let it go unattended for hours before someone finds it.  Some days we're not at home for the majority of the time.

 

just found rotator/glass plate in microwave completely discombobulated and timer at :02 however

Edited by mulletpelini
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Guest Lobo

Guest Lobo

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4 hours ago, Liteitup said:

Holiday cooking and fractions....

"How much is two 3/4 sticks of butter?"

Well if it's that Kerrygold butter from Ireland that my wife likes so much, they're on the metric system so it's 3/4ths the stick times 1.61 conversion to metric, so about 1.21 sticks.  

 

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Modessit

Modessit 5599

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Just now catching up on this thread. My wife also will never run the dishwasher unless somebody is home and awake. I can’t even get her to run it after dinner some nights because “it won’t be finished by the time we go to bed”.
Do you eat at 10p and go to bed at 1030p? Or does your dishwasher take 3 hours to complete the cycle?
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Larry T. Spider

Larry T. Spider 1746

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4 hours ago, Modessit said:
18 hours ago, Larry T. Spider said:
Just now catching up on this thread. My wife also will never run the dishwasher unless somebody is home and awake. I can’t even get her to run it after dinner some nights because “it won’t be finished by the time we go to bed”.

Do you eat at 10p and go to bed at 1030p? Or does your dishwasher take 3 hours to complete the cycle?

She runs it on some crazy long cycle that takes forever. Well over an hour. I have to be up at 5:30 for work so I go to bed early. 

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Nivek

Nivek 16923

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While we were at the zoo today the wife received a text about a toy she ordered for our daughter finally came in, and is ready to pick up.   After we got home, I went to clean kitchen and prepare food and I suggested she go out to get the item; I’ll handle the kids,  she declines.  It is now 11 pm and she is out searching for kid toys due to the imbalance.  

 

 

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