Jump to content

Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
in Lulz

 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 22.5k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Popular Posts

McCroskey
McCroskey

Buddy sent a text today...said his wife decided to shop vac their fireplace and clean up all the ash. When she finished, she turned around and didn’t realize the shop vac lid wasn’t really seated, so

BearCountry11
BearCountry11

From earlier this evening...   My father in law lost his cell phone on the golf course this afternoon.  It was raining so we didn’t have much hope it would still be working but he shares the

RamjetFDO
RamjetFDO

Posted Images

thunderlounge

thunderlounge 7816

Posted
Posted
8 hours ago, Grade of D as in David said:

So you're telling me that your wife walked into a Bucees and didn't buy jerky?

 

Or breakfast tacos. WTF?

 

 

3 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

She was a virgin when we met. 

 

Only if you don't count anal, amirite?

 

 

 

3 hours ago, Knoxtnhorn said:

The first time she gave me head, I thought I was losing skin.  So, yes, she has teeth.

 

 

Or had at one time, at least.

 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
General Specific

General Specific 3256

Posted
Posted
Trying to figure out wife logic.
We were driving from DFW to TN yesterday.  Told her we'd leave at 4:30AM, stop at Bucee's for gas/snacks, drive as long as possible before the kids wake up.  She comes back with two Icee's which, of course, melt within 20 mins.  First kid wakes up an hour later and asks for something to eat.  No food, but she does have an extra boiled egg.  

Rookie.

Drive from Houston to Denver, fist stop is Dallas for gas and breakfast.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
General Specific

General Specific 3256

Posted
Posted
Setting aside the fact that I don't know how one obtains gas from fisting and don't want to even know about "breakfast" I have a question.

Are you actually trying to say that with a wife and perhaps children (no fisting I hope) you can drive between 4-5 hours prior to a first stop that started around 3-4 am?

Bull fucking shit. (No fisting)

We leave at 4am, sure, all good. Dallas by 8, easy. After gas and food, the rest of the trip slows down for obvious reasons, wife, kids and dogs need to pee.

 

Poor spelling aside.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dennis Taylor

Dennis Taylor 18812

Posted
Posted
29 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Surprisingly, it’s just her not understanding how the system works. In auto, it only runs the floor vents. 
also, her commute is 3 minutes so she’s rarely in it long enough for the engine to get to temp. 
when I forced it to run the dash vents and let it warm up, hot air blows. 

that's not the content we are here for

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 17551

Posted
Posted
44 minutes ago, Pato del Muerto said:

Surprisingly, it’s just her not understanding how the system works. In auto, it only runs the floor vents. 
also, her commute is 3 minutes so she’s rarely in it long enough for the engine to get to temp. 
when I forced it to run the dash vents and let it warm up, hot air blows. 

I haz disappoint.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
crimsonlonghorn

crimsonlonghorn 2306

Posted
Posted
On 12/29/2019 at 3:25 PM, luke duke said:

She was parked behind me so I used her car to run an errand.

4956982049e2e75ea4e963f0aee71428.jpg

I'll be driving somewhere with her in my car and inevitably the AC will eventually start straining and blowing funny and when I finally notice I'll look down and the passenger side temp is cranked up like this while my side is 70 +/- 1 or 2 degrees.

And as soon as I push the "sync" button to reset her side she'll give me a lecture about how cold she is and what an asshole I am for being a man and not understanding how it makes her boobs hurt. 

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
PhillyD

PhillyD 1257

Posted
Posted

A few weeks ago, I got in my wife's car to take it to get a new tire.  AC was on but I didn't feel any cool air blowing so I check to see what gives.  Look down and discover that all of the vents are closed.  I guess that is easier than adjusting the thermostat.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
mulletpelini

mulletpelini 5210

Posted
Posted
On 12/27/2019 at 11:51 AM, Anastasis said:

I shit you not.

My wife just walked into my office and asked me "What time do you want to go over to mom and dad's?".

 

right after we're done fucking, dear.

On 12/29/2019 at 7:21 PM, nnm said:

For you dishwasher fanatics that complain that the dishwasher you married doesn’t load the dishwashing machine correctly:  https://www.wsj.com/articles/youre-loading-the-dishwasher-wrong-a-chore-and-a-power-struggle-1435682078

Jesus if you take the time to watch this 3 minute video that is supposed to tell you how you're loading it wrong, please tell me where in the video (brought to you by two married women no less) where it actually explains how to load it properly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
nnm

nnm 36360

Posted
Posted
On 12/29/2019 at 9:37 PM, TKthunder2 said:

Paywall

Sorry.

Spoiler

You’re Loading the Dishwasher Wrong: A Chore and a Power Struggle

Appliance makers say consumers ignore many new features and settings

By 
Ellen Byron

Updated June 30, 2015 12:56 pm ET

 

Jennifer Vargas usually catches her husband in the act late at night. “After I’ve started the dishwasher, he’ll open it up and start rearranging everything,” says Ms. Vargas, a public-relations executive in Crestwood, N.Y. “It drives me crazy.”

Her husband, Levy Vargas, an operations director, says his stacking method gets better results. “Jen is more blasé, and I’m more agitated by incorrect loading,” he says. “If I don’t think it will come out clean, I’ll start moving stuff around.”

It should be simple: Pile used plates, bowls, coffee cups, glasses, forks, spoons and knives into the dishwasher and turn it on. Yet loading the dishwasher is one of the most contentious household chores. Not only is it the rare task often shared by multiple family members, but it is also done in the home’s most central room—the kitchen—where it can be scrutinized, debated and redone.

The stakes of how we load the dishes are higher than ever, appliance makers say. Energy-saving dishwashers use less water, and that heightens tensions about how much pre-rinsing is needed. People also argue about whether utensils should be loaded with handles up or down, which rack should hold plastic containers and how full the load should be.

“The dump and turn-on is not my approach. I’m much more orderly,” says Martha Stewart, lifestyle guru and chief creative officer of Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia Inc. She credits the longevity of many prized dishes and utensils to rules she has honed for loading the 17 dishwashers inside 21 kitchens across her properties.

“The don’ts are more important than the do’s,” Ms. Stewart says. Never put knives, pewter, wood, china, crystal, cast iron, nonstick pans or gold-plate flatware in the dishwasher, she says. She also doesn’t mix sterling or silver-plate flatware with stainless-steel because a reaction between the metals can damage both finishes.

Bosch says more than 40% of Americans fight about loading the dishwasher, with 61% of them arguing over whether to pre-rinse dishes. Some 39% of those who argue say they disagree on whether knives should point up or down, and 30% differ on whether plastic containers must go on the top rack.

 

“If ruining plastic containers has plagued your marriage, Bosch has the solution,” says a character called “Dalia, the dishwashing marriage counselor,” in an online video spoof by the company. Bosch dishwashers have a concealed heating element that keeps plastic from melting if it gets too close, the company says.

To end the war over utensil handles and whether they should point up or down, dishwasher makers increasingly offer models with a third rack on top, to keep similar utensils from nesting. The shallow rack has tines that hold forks, knives, spoons and large utensils laid out horizontally, instead of standing up vertically in a basket below.

The third rack frees up space to squeeze more into the lower two racks—a benefit that has a big emotional payoff for users, says Andrew Spanyer, General Electric Co. ’s dishwasher product manager.

GE defines different loading styles and makes sure each rack design can accommodate the range of methods. “Protectors,” for example, want to load utensils with the handle up, so that the eating end isn’t touched when unloading; “organizers” just want to load and unload everything as fast as possible, Mr. Spanyer says. GE’s dishwashers with a third rack enable “protectors” to have a dedicated home for utensils, but a traditional utensil basket on the lower rack is included, too, so “organizers” have the option to get it over with fast.

“Curators” are the most particular users, Mr. Spanyer says. “They will place all their tall plates together, even though they don’t have to,” he says.

Jessica Olstad, a public relations director in St. Paul, Minn., strives for perfection when she loads her family’s dishes and describes the end result as “liberating.” She places her white dinner plates together toward the front of the lower rack while pots and pans go in the back with handles pointing left—a little touch she knows has no effect on cleanliness. “That’s just aesthetics,” she says.

Ms. Olstad says her husband, Jay, probably doesn’t know she rearranges the dishes after he loads them. “As much as we communicate with each other, I don’t know if I’ve ever told him this before,” she says.

Many consumers have been loading dishwashers the same way since they were children, even though the appliance can do more than ever, companies say. Nowhere is this more evident than in the practice of pre-rinsing dishes before loading—which most appliance and soap makers don’t recommend.

Cascade, made by Procter & Gamble Co., warns against pre-washing, except for removing large pieces of food. Enzymes in Cascade detergent are designed to attach themselves to food particles. Without food, the enzymes have nothing to latch on to, P&G says.

Dishwashers in the Whirlpool line have a “TargetClean” option, where sensors read whether soil remains on dishes. Forty focused jets spray water on challenges like a casserole dish with baked-on food. “Don’t hand-wash anything, put everything in the dishwasher,” says Casey Tubman, Whirlpool Corp. general manager for cleaning in North America. “You’ll run more water down the sink hand-washing than you will with a whole load of a dishwasher.”

Despite increasingly specialized washing cycles, Whirlpool estimates more than 70% of consumers still select the “normal” cycle every time. “With all the changes in water and energy usage that are taking place, consumers need to select different cycles depending on the types of dishes they’re doing and the type of clean they want,” says Lucinda Ottusch, a consumer scientist at Whirlpool’s Institute of Home Science.

Users who load especially dirty dishes on one side of a new Samsung dishwasher can choose the “Zone Booster” setting, which puts more water pressure in that area, says Amy Schmidt, Samsung’s assistant product marketing manager for kitchen solutions.

Samsung’s “Flex Glass Rack” aims to make people feel comfortable about washing delicate wine glasses. The small device holds stemmed wine glasses in place on the lower rack and diffuses the water stream to clean them gently.

To help ensure that dishwasher racks work with current tableware trends, Whirlpool’s Ms. Ottusch monitors the most popular items on bridal registries. Lately she has noted rising demand for soup tureens. Whirlpool’s namesake line and its KitchenAid brand have racks with adjustable heights to fit tall pilsner glasses, large beer steins, mason jars and small tapas plates, Whirlpool says.

Consumers who switched to square dinner plates didn’t require Bosch to change the dish-rack tines, but future adjustments are likely to suit the increasing use of 13-inch skillets, instead of 12-inch ones, says Stephanie Hutaff, director of product marketing for dish care at Bosch. “If we’re working on a dishwasher today it might not come out for two to three years, and by that time a new [tableware] trend might be the norm,” she says.

Despite years of coaching, Michael Keefe, a lawyer in Basking Ridge, N.J., says he hasn’t persuaded his wife and two daughters to embrace his precise way of loading the dishwasher, which includes alternating forks and spoons in the utensil basket to prevent them from sticking together, and placing similar dishes and glasses together so unloading is more efficient. “Now it ends up just being a one-person job—me,” he says.

https://www.wsj.com/articles/youre-loading-the-dishwasher-wrong-a-chore-and-a-power-struggle-1435682078

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
ABSR

ABSR 5309

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, mulletpelini said:

Jesus if you take the time to watch this 3 minute video that is supposed to tell you how you're loading it wrong, please tell me where in the video (brought to you by two married women no less) where it actually explains how to load it properly.

It was written by women....so they don't know.   They just want to complain about it, not fix the problem.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
miguelito

miguelito 11262

Posted
Posted

Wife and her mom were making something over the holidays, and the recipe called for 1 stick of butter.  They already had 3/4 of a stick, so they used that, then cut off 1/4 of a new stick and added that. 

I asked why they didn't just use a new full stick, and got 2 confused looks back.

  • Like 6
  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Ten Bears

Ten Bears 2481

Posted
Posted
Surprisingly, it’s just her not understanding how the system works. In auto, it only runs the floor vents. 
also, her commute is 3 minutes so she’s rarely in it long enough for the engine to get to temp. 
when I forced it to run the dash vents and let it warm up, hot air blows. 
I had that short of a commute and ended up with tons of parrifin sludge built up in my engine because it didn't get hot enough to burn it off or some shit.
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Not that Bob

Not that Bob 735

Posted
Posted

Christmas decorations with glitter. Before impeachment, yay or nay. Before gun control, yay or nay. Before drug law reform, yay or nay. Before any of that mundane shit, glitter should be outlawed. In fairness she did throw away the worst offenders, but that shit should never be in a house in the first place. There will be this year's glitter somewhere in the house when it's time to put up 2020 decorations. "It looks pretty", she says. "Yeah? Well not in August!", says I. Response...tone. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
CycleTex87

CycleTex87 2967

Posted
Posted
3 hours ago, miguelito said:

Wife and her mom were making something over the holidays, and the recipe called for 1 stick of butter.  They already had 3/4 of a stick, so they used that, then cut off 1/4 of a new stick and added that. 

I asked why they didn't just use a new full stick, and got 2 confused looks back.

I would have done the same vis a vis the 3/4 + 1/4 butter stick, but would not have been confused about the alternative new stick.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing


Football ... Basketball ... Baseball ... Other Sports ... Futbol ... 🤫995🤫 ... Gambling ... Movies & TV ... Music ... Hobbies ... Lulz ... Food & Travel ... Daily Texan ... Business and Markets ... Cloak Room ... Help ... For Sale ... Board Discussion ... Subscribe!... Donate!... Advertise... COOKIE MONSTER!

×
×
  • Create New...