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Wives and the Stupid Shit They Say/Do

Spur08

By Spur08
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Gil Bang

Gil Bang 26176

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On 1/27/2020 at 8:11 AM, Brew said:

Nonstick pans left on the stove on high when the water runs out is not a good experience. The smell stays in the house for a while.

when I was a kid, I decided to really clean the house.  I turned on the self-cleaning oven without looking inside.  It was a teflon pan.  The house was a fucking disaster for several hours, with every window and door open. 

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crimsonlonghorn

crimsonlonghorn 2313

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Another gem from that conversation last night trying to discuss statistics with a self-proclaimed "outlier" in engineering.

 

Me: "Do you have any evidence that <Gigantic Oil Company> is biased against women?"

Ms CL: "Yes, I've sat in hiring meetings where they said, 'Let's take a chance on this woman.'"

Me: "So... they hired the woman for an engineering position... and that means they're biased?"

Ms CL: "I've never heard them say anything about taking a chance on a man!"

Me: "Was the woman more qualified than all of the male candidates?"

Ms CL: "No. Of course not."

Me: "But they hired her anyway?"

Ms CL: "Yes."

Me: "And that means they are biased against women?"

Ms CL: "Yes. They described it as 'taking a chance.'"

Me: "Maybe it was because she wasn't the most qualified applicant?"

Ms CL: "No, it's because women are discriminated against in the workplace."

Me: "Where they hired you?"

Ms CL: "I'm special. I can do the work. I'm far down the curve. Most women aren't. They had to hire me."

Me: 

giphy-25.gif.a5450fa2b629c83aa7e9e92a8bb61996.gifspacer.png

Edited by crimsonlonghorn
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wd40

wd40 1976

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2 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

Another gem from that conversation last night trying to discuss statistics with a self-proclaimed "outlier" in engineering.

 

Me: "Do you have any evidence that <Gigantic Oil Company> is biased against women?"

Ms CL: "Yes, I've sat in hiring meetings where they said, 'Let's take a chance on this woman.'"

Me: "So... they hired the woman for an engineering position... and that means they're biased?"

Ms CL: "I've never heard them say anything about taking a chance on a man!"

Me: "Was the woman more qualified than all of the male candidates?"

Ms CL: "No. Of course not."

Me: "But they hired her anyway?"

Ms CL: "Yes."

Me: "And that means they are biased against women?"

Ms CL: "Yes. They described it as 'taking a chance.'"

Me: "Maybe it was because she wasn't the most qualified applicant?"

Ms CL: "No, it's because women are discriminated against in the workplace."

Me: "Where they hired you?"

Ms CL: "I'm special. I can do the work. I'm far down the curve. Most women aren't. They had to hire me."

Me: 

giphy-25.gif.a5450fa2b629c83aa7e9e92a8bb61996.gifspacer.png

you should tell her they probably meant, 'take a chance on the applicant not being as big a pain in the ass as you-know-who.'

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SilasCoade

SilasCoade 2622

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Posted (edited)
11 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

This one veers into the technical side of things and CR posts, but here goes. For someone as smart as she is, she's still a women and she must think there's a bigot under every bed. 

Me: "All I am saying is that the standard deviation for measuring men's mathematical ability is higher than for women. The mean is about the same but the spread is wider. There are more men than women on the high end and there are more men than women on the low end. You're an engineer. I know you know what I mean. It's not all attributable to discrimination."

 

citation please

Per this article that statement is only likely true when looking at US students but the effect disappears internationally.

Edited by Llogg
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luke duke

luke duke 6445

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Last week I went in our bathroom right before getting in bed and noticed that her phone was plugged in next to the sink, which was a first. Wife was already in bed.

 

Me: Why is your phone in here and not on your nightstand?

Her: I’m trying something new. I have a hard time going to sleep because I get distracted by my phone right before bed.

Me: How about you just don’t pick up your phone?

Her: *Looks at me like I’m an alien speaking a foreign language*

Phone: *ding* (the timing was perfect)

Her: Can you see who’s texting me?

Me: No, I don’t want to interfere with your sleep.

Her: Asshole (as she gets out of bed to check her phone)

 

The phone has been charged on her nightstand ever since.

 

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BHMCruiser

BHMCruiser 1828

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13 hours ago, crimsonlonghorn said:

This one veers into the technical side of things and CR posts, but here goes. For someone as smart as she is, she's still a women and she must think there's a bigot under every bed. 

Me: "All I am saying is that the standard deviation for measuring men's mathematical ability is higher than for women. The mean is about the same but the spread is wider. There are more men than women on the high end and there are more men than women on the low end. You're an engineer. I know you know what I mean. It's not all attributable to discrimination."

Ms CL: "Oh yeah? Then how come my high school calculus teacher looked at the classroom on the first day of school and said, 'There are too many girls in here'"?

Me: "What percentage were women?"

Ms CL: "About 60%"

Me: "Did any drop out? How many?"

Ms CL: "About half"

Me: "So by the end there were more boys than girls?"

Ms CL: "Yes"

Me: "You realize what you're saying?"

Ms CL: "Yes, the teacher was biased against girls."

.

.

<Conversation continues for a while - we talk in circles>

.

.

Me: "I know you understand what I am saying about there being more men at either end of the curve. It's basic statistics.I know you know how a normal distribution works."

Ms CL: "Yes. But I'm the only girl engineer at my job. Shouldn't there be more like 30%?" (Guess she's referring to the calculus class thing?)

Me: "No, the further down the curve you get, the ratio of men to women should get much higher. It might be 10 or 5 or 1 percent women by the time you get to really advanced fields like what you do."

Ms CL: "Then if there is no discrimination, how come the further I have gone in my career, there have been fewer and fewer women?"

Me: "Good point. I think I'm going to go surf Shaggy for a while."

What kind of engineer is she? Does she design bridges? If so can you please tell me where those bridges might be?

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TrashMaster G

TrashMaster G 18030

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11 minutes ago, elfenix said:

that's not the stock android clock app.  maybe that's samsung's.

Maybe so.

30 minutes ago, luke duke said:

Last week I went in our bathroom right before getting in bed and noticed that her phone was plugged in next to the sink, which was a first. Wife was already in bed.

 

Me: Why is your phone in here and not on your nightstand?

Her: I’m trying something new. I have a hard time going to sleep because I get distracted by my phone right before bed.

Me: How about you just don’t pick up your phone?

Her: *Looks at me like I’m an alien speaking a foreign language*

Phone: *ding* (the timing was perfect)

Her: Can you see who’s texting me?

Me: No, I don’t want to interfere with your sleep.

Her: Asshole (as she gets out of bed to check her phone)

 

The phone has been charged on her nightstand ever since.

 

That is Peak Wife, right there.

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crimsonlonghorn

crimsonlonghorn 2313

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58 minutes ago, BHMCruiser said:

What kind of engineer is she? Does she design bridges? If so can you please tell me where those bridges might be?

Chemical. She's now an IP lawyer at her large oil company writing patents on drilling rigs and other technology. 

Very very smart. But also a woman, so simultaneously also very much in tune with this thread with blind spots a mile wide. 

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Anastasis

Anastasis 23699

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1 minute ago, Hmbre97 said:

I had just won the super bowl and my air head wife says on national TV that I had been "as calm as a cucumber all week". What a stupid bitch.

- Andy Reid

I think that the proper response to your wife comparing you to a cucumber is to nod knowingly. 

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MNLonghornFUKM

MNLonghornFUKM 8963

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She came home from target tonight with about 7 boxes of noodles and 7 jars of ragu. My mother in law is a saint... but she also is one of those internet/conspiracy freak out type so she got in my wife’s head about the dangers of corona virus in case we need to stay home for x amount of days.

 

 

 

It’s adorable.. but I look at it like we have some easy suppers coming up

 

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crimsonlonghorn

crimsonlonghorn 2313

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Posted (edited)

Last Wednesday I came down with a very mild case of the flu. Nothing more than a sporadic fever and aches, easily controllable by Tylenol. I knew it was the flu because I was exposed to it the weekend before visiting my dad in the hospital, and I figured it was mild because I already had a flu shot. All I needed to do was wait for the proverbial 5-7 days to pass but wife was nagging me everyday to go to the doctor and get tested, even if it never got worse. She and the kids never got sick. I called the doctor's nurse and she said it sounded so mild that I probably wasn't that contagious, especially since I wasn't sneezing or coughing. Just wait it out and come see us if it gets worse.

I started feeling better yesterday but she kept STILL nagging so today I went in to see the doctor. They agreed with me and basically told me we were both wasting our time but laughed when I said I was there to keep my wife happy. 

Get home this afternoon and report back to Ms CL.

Ms CL: Did you get tested for the flu?

Me: No, they didn't even mention it. They said that I didn't appear ill. 

Ms CL: Why didn't you ask to be tested?

Me: I guess because they could tell I was no longer sick?

Ms CL: Well how am I supposed to know if you actually had the flu? What if I catch it from you? 

Me: Because it's all gone now. Wouldn't you have already caught it by now if it were going to happen?

yada yada yada... TONE

Edited by crimsonlonghorn
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